I used to be unhappy because I always got the idea that I contributed more than others. I used to feel frustrated because I always hold the point that I treated others much better than they fed back.
Later, I became more and more lonely and began to lose lots of valuable things in my life. I couldn’t find the source of my misery and pain. Then I wanted to change myself.
In order to find the answer, I visited many different places, I went to read many philosophic books as a try to free myself from the heavy burden of the dissatisfactory to life itself.
Bible tells that the contribution should be paid. I deeply pondered upon what I had experienced in the past, why what I contributed hadn’t be repaid so far?
why what I struggled turned to be naught? Why what I gave heart and soul turned out to be in vain?
I slipped myself into a more puzzled state.
Afterwards it came a turning point, I met my mentor, a person to whom I couldn’t help confiding all my troubles. Out of my expectation it was him who finally saved me from the hot water; it was him who opened another door for me. He comforted me when I buried my head deep in arms. He channeled me in his way and helped me to turn a new leaf of life. I became addicted myself to him, He was my soul mate from then on.
He told me, what we contributed should be repaid, but maybe in some other way or style, not any one we had ever imagined. Furthermore, when we concentrated on doing something, we shouldn’t think about what we could get from it at the beginning, just did it with our heart if we regarded it as right and necessary.
Reputation and benefits were important but never the main stream or dominative color of our life. They were there, not for us to pursue actively but for us to receive passively. The more we chased them, maybe the further they would be from us. Keeping a balanced heart and never counted on the benefit out of our contribution, just do it, then we would live a happier life.
After listening to his remarks devotedly, I came back to read a poem from Tao Yuanming, after that my heart turned to be peaceful and I finally smiled at what I lost silently.
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