电影“珍珠港”的主题曲，Faith Hill 的There You'll Be（有你相依），这首歌2001年蝉联全美抒情榜冠军12周，2006年再获葛莱美奖3项提名，款款深情，不容错过！
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之性别还是袜别？
Sex or sox?
性别还是袜别？
THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."
Swear It Again是拥有13首英国金榜冠军纪录的“西城男孩”1999年初现锋芒首支摘下英国金榜冠军王座的真爱誓言。来自爱尔兰的演唱组合“西城男孩”自出道以来就倍受歌迷的青睐，是当今最具人气的组合之一。他们从九八年的“Smash Hits Awards”最佳新人奖得主，到“My Love”、“Swear it again”、“If I Let You Go”等佳作的流传，现在已成为红遍全球的流行乐坛巨星。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之天气预报员！
The Weatherman
天气预报员！
A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
丈夫和妻子睡得正香，电话响了。
丈夫拿起电话说：“你好。我怎么知道！难道我象个天气预报员吗？！”他扔掉电话又躲进被窝。
“谁呀？”妻子问。
“不知道，有个人向我打听海滨地区是否晴天。”
5月17日 新增：
[知行音乐英语随身学]之Endless Love（Diana Ross）
抒情才子 Lionel Richie 与灵魂乐天后 Diana Ross 1981年蝉联全美流行单曲榜9周冠军的对唱情歌经典作品，电影“Endless Love”主题曲“Endless Love”（无尽的爱）。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之我输了
I Lost
我输了
It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．
“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”
At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.
After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal screams, hysterical laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, "Asking for a raise again?"
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."
A woman was with her lover who also happened to be her husband's best friend. Then the phone rang, and because it was the woman's house, she reached over and picked up the receiver.Her lover came over and listened, only heard her side of the conversation.She was speaking in a cheery voice. " Hello? Oh, hi! SO glad you called. Really. That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you. Sounds terrific. Great! Thanks! Okay. Bye bye."She hung up the phone and her lover asked, "Who was that?""Oh," she replied, " that was my husband telling me what a wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise, pending approval of the vice president. A month later, my supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to approve the salary hike. His reason? I clearly wasn't doing my job. Every time he saw me, I was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on the telephone.
Heal the world 是一首呼唤世界和平的歌曲，十分优秀，歌词倡导人们保护和珍惜我们的环境，让战争远离，世界和平，我们的心中都有一个地方，那就是爱，让我们营造一个没有战争、没有荒地，生机勃勃，到处充满了温暖和关怀的世界，让孩子们可以自由的欢笑，让世界充满爱。Michael Jackson 唱出了发自内心的心声。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之计算机病毒
Computer virus
计算机病毒
A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mail. After checking her computer, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus. "It's a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse," I said. "What could be worse?" my single co-worker asked wryly. "The Let's Just Be Friends virus?"
A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it......Once again he hears a voice " JESUS is watching you". He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks " Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says " What kind of person names his bird moses??" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
今天我们来学习 Another Level '超凡四帅合唱团'的“From The Heart”（由心爱你）。Another Level 于1998年，发行同名专辑《Another Level》。曾应邀为 Janet Jackson 欧洲巡回演唱会担任任开场嘉宾而出名。
6月1日 新增：
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之你以为我傻啊？
Do you think I'm stupid?
你以为我傻啊？
Mike and Bob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.
"I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down,and then you can pick up the ladder."
"What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."
"What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."
Mike 和Bob正在屋顶上铺设瓦片，突然一阵大风把他们的梯子吹倒了。
Mike说：“我有个主意，我们把你扔下去，然后你就可以把梯子捡起来了。”
“哼，你以为我傻啊？我也有个主意，我点着手电筒，你可以沿着灯柱爬下去。”
“哼，你以为我傻啊？如果我爬到一半你把手电关了，我怎么办？！”
6月2日 新增：
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之诱饵
The Bait
诱饵
A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions." The man sent a wire back saying, "Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait."
今天带给大家一首Bee Gees的情歌How Deep is Your Love。由Barry Gibb、Robin Gibb与Maurice Gibb三兄弟于1958年组成的Bee Gees组合，可谓流行乐史上除了The Beatles之外，表现最杰出的组合之一。他们兄弟三人最初在澳大利亚的才艺竞赛中以完美无瑕的和声技巧深受瞩目，到了1966年，他们已经成为澳大利亚首屈一指的组合了。How Deep Is Your Love为Bee Gees赢得了1977年葛莱美最佳流行组合奖。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之裸泳
Skinny Dipping
裸泳
One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object - which happened to be an old wooden box - and held it in front of her.
"Young man, I know what you're thinking," she said.
"And I know what you're thinking," replied Jimmy. "You're thinking that box has a bottom on it!"
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."
"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
[知行音乐英语随身学]之Can't Fight The Moonlight（Leann Rimes）
全球累积超过2千张万销售实力的小天后 Leann Rimes，1996年出道，便以13岁超龄纯熟的歌技，引发一股全球 Rimes 热潮，亮丽的演出也让她获奖无数：全美音乐奖、ACM乡村音乐奖、Billboard音乐奖（年度艺人、专辑艺人）、英国BBC电台“最佳新进艺人奖”。1998年冠军曲 How Do I Live 更缔造史上流行榜前十名连续32周纪录及雄霸70周流行榜之惊人成绩！2000年，Leann为电影《女狼俱乐部》主唱Cant Fight The Moonlight，成为轰动一时的热门电影曲。在历经多张撼动人心的畅销专辑后，更证明了Leann在流行乐坛独树一格的“Rimes风格”，奠定了她新生代天后屹立不摇之地位！
[知行音乐英语随身学]之Hear Me Cry （《恋爱世纪》插曲）
Hear Me Cry (恋爱世纪插曲)是一曲相当好听的音乐，刚开始是女声和钢琴的乾净配合，后面加入人声衬托和键盘和声，Hear Me Cry 绝对可以让心情安静下来的音乐。电视剧原声带专辑的配乐都极具流行感，不仅有充满欧美现代音乐元素的歌曲，也有不乏柔情似水的抒情小品，都是脍炙人口的佳作，相信随着这些美妙的旋律在耳边响起，可以让我们再度重温剧中酸甜苦辣的动人情境。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之鸡汤
Chicken soup
鸡汤
Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, "I don't like chicken soup, bring something else." The hospital worker said, "It's good for you, the doctor said you should have it." Regardless, the patient refused to eat it. That night, a patient in the room with Joe had a bad stomach pain so the nurses came in to give him an enema. By mistake, they gave the enema to Joe. The following week, when he was leaving the hospital, a new patient asked him how he liked the hospital. He told him, "Well, the hospital itself is pretty good, but they're very strict about their food. when they bring up chicken soup you better eat it, or else they'll come back in the middle of the night and shove it up your behind!"
Norah Jones 的 Don't know why 获得了2003年度葛莱美最佳唱片和最佳年度单曲两项大奖，Norah Jones 也因这首歌获得了最佳流行女歌手的大奖。融合了爵士、民谣、流行、乡村、酒吧乐风，如诗般的歌词，加上圆润的嗓音，造就了这首冠军金曲。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之免费的建议？
Free advice?
免费的建议？
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
电影《致命恋人》中的歌曲《Unbreak My Heart》，由Dianne Warren 谱写，美国着名灵魂音乐歌手 Toni Braxton 用她低回磁性的嗓音,亦幽亦明地表现出歌曲强烈而深厚的意境，是97年Billboard排行榜冠军，并稳坐14周冠军宝座，Toni Braxton 因演唱此曲夺得了第二座格莱美奖。
When I See You Smile（当我看到你微笑）是摇滚队伍“Bad English 坏英国人合唱团”89年全美流行单曲榜双周冠军的动人情歌，单曲销售达金唱片，专辑销售则获颁白金唱片认证。这也是电视剧“流星花园”中道明寺与叶莎之歌。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之不用找零了
Keep the Change
不用找零了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
[知行音乐英语随身学]之How Am I Supposed to Live without You（Michael Bolton）
Michael Bolton 为女歌手劳拉布兰尼根在1983年作的《How Am I Supposed to Live without You》一炮打响，红遍歌坛。接着Bolton又重唱了《How Am I Supposed To Live Without You》，听来令人激情荡漾。这首90年代初排行榜上的冠军歌曲，使他获得了该年度的葛莱美流行男歌手奖。Michael Bolton凭藉独特的演绎和声线，以及极富创意的作词、作曲的才华，赢得了乐迷的欣赏，成为当今乐坛炙手可热的红星。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之猜猜我是谁？
Guess who?
猜猜我是谁？
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting the better of him, the guy goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Kelly Clarkson 是到目前为止“美国偶像大赛”所诞生出的成绩最为显着的明星之一。单曲“Breakaway”一推出就获得全美单曲榜第六名(流行点播榜冠军)，这首歌曲加入摇滚酷妹艾薇儿的创作协力，歌词中亟欲破茧而出的心情，透过凯莉层次分明的诠释方式，搭配着逡游穿梭的吉他，不愠不火地流泻。Breakaway 也是公主日记2的插曲。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之红灯，停
Stop for the Red Light
红灯，停
I had just pulled over someone for driving under the influence when another car pulled up behind us. I stopped what I was doing and ventured back to see if the driver needed assistance. "No, I don't need any help," he said, reeking of booze. Then, pointing to the flashing cherry top on the roof of my cruiser, he continued, "I just stopped for the red light."
[知行音乐英语随身学]之From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart（Britney Spears）
1998年，一个16岁的美国小女生〈布兰妮 Britney Spears〉在短短的2年中征服全球的少男少女，一跃登上新世纪流行之声的少女天后的宝座！1999年2月，布兰妮的首张专辑〈爱的初告白 BABY ONE MORE TIME〉推出时即在专辑榜上获得告示榜第一名，From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart 是第一张专辑里的一首慢歌，讲述失恋之后的一些心情。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之快速靠岸
Reached Shore Fast
快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We have a really great rate to Salt Lake -- $99," she said. "But there is a stopover." "Where?" "In Denver," she said.
[知行音乐英语随身学]之My heart belongs to you（Hayley Westenra）
继莎拉·布莱曼之后，“跨界”歌坛迎来又一位天使级歌后--Hayley Westenra（海莉·韦斯顿）。“My heart belongs to you”被认为是海莉“跨界音乐”演唱中流行风味最浓的保留单曲，描述一位少女挚诚炽热的情感却又流溢着古典范畴的纯净和清冽。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之两个笨贼
Very stupid robbers
两个笨贼
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！”
第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊！”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！”
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之吝啬鬼的餐会
The Mean Man's Party
吝啬鬼的餐会
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
One Sweet Day 是 Mariah 和Boyz II Men 合唱的，16周单曲榜冠军，史上维持最久的冠军单曲。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之你是怎么引起洪水的？
How did you start the flood?
你是怎么引起洪水的？
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met a lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, " I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything. What are you doing here?" "That's quite a coincidence," said the doctor "I'm here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
重金属乐队 Steelheart 出道于1990年，乐队的风格是80年代末的 GUITAR ROCK 同时又带一点点POP。快乐，爱情，聚会的主题使这个乐队成名。乐队主唱的声音有的时候就象个顽皮的孩子，然而这声音还是极具感染力的。在他们1990年第一张专辑里面，She's Gone 是最柔美的一首，是主唱发挥及至的表现之一。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之那女人是谁？
Who is that woman?
那女人是谁？
The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel. The operator, a magnificent blonde, looked at them in surprise and said, "Why, hello, Teddy, how are you?" When the couple reached their room, the piqued bride demanded: "Who was that woman?!" "Take it easy, honey," said the groom, "I'm going to have trouble enough explaining you to her."
这首脍炙人口的“Always Getting Over You”同样也是一首电影插曲，收录在“American Pie II”《美国派2》的原声大碟中。爽朗的吉他流行曲调和清新甜美的嗓音带出了新鲜时尚的感觉，空幻欢快的旋律抚慰人心。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之一睡醒，你就被炒鱿鱼了
As soon as you wake up, you're fired
一睡醒，你就被炒鱿鱼了
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."
出道3年来，S Club 7赢得千禧年全英音乐奖“最佳新进团体”、坐拥7首英国金榜Top3单曲以及两张冠军专辑、全球累积销量突破1000万张。而2001年5月，S Club 7称霸英国金榜3周冠军的《Never Had A Dream Come True》更成功打入美国Billboard流行单曲榜No.10、蝉联双周单曲销售榜亚军，让S Club 7成为近年来成功打入美国市场的英国偶像团体之一。《Never Had A Dream Come True》是2001年"S CLUB 7" 为英国的BBC，"孩子们的呼救"活动，而出版的一首单曲。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之成功的关键2
Keys to Success
成功的关键
One day a father was teaching his son and said, "The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called 'keeping one's words.'
"What is cleverness?" asked his son.
"Cleverness is that you'll never make such a promise, " the father answered.
新西兰美声少女Hayley Westenra（海莉·威斯特纳）天赋清亮无瑕的绝美嗓音，以及纯净无暇的自然唱腔，让她小小年纪，即以奇迹般的天使之音，从南半球的冠军歌手，一跃成为国际歌坛最受瞩目的闪亮新星！现在知名度仅次于萨拉·布莱曼。Never Say Goodbye（别说再见）柔软人心，犹如空谷天籁，将Hayley Westenra的透明音色质感再完美升华，只消几个音符，相信你会被纯净美声彻底征服！
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊
How could anyone stoop so low?
哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
前些日子，有一男的来到我的理发店，问剪一个头要多少钱。
“八美元，”我告诉他。
“那，刮次胡子呢？”
“五美元”。
“那行”，那男的边说边坐到了理发椅上，“来，给我刮刮头吧”。
7月24日 新增：
[知行音乐英语随身学]之Stop Crying Your Heart Out（Oasis）
Stop Crying Your Heart Out是《蝴蝶效应》片尾曲，据说这首歌是绿洲为英国足球队出征世界杯失败而作的安慰曲，这也是绿洲少有的几首旋律优美却十分伤感的歌曲，还被选为十大英伦伤感歌曲。
Oasis 是近十年来英国最受欢迎和最受评论家承认的乐队之一；他们在将英国的guitar-pop 推向顶峰的过程中起了不小的作用。这个来自曼彻斯特的演唱组沿袭了 Stones 和 the Who 的粗糙灰暗的形象，融合了 Beatles 的曲调并带有明显的英国抒情色彩的主题。他们将这一切用吉他的吼叫声串起来。而他们的挑衅式的讥笑可以和 Pistols 的叛逆与 Stone Rose 的傲慢自大媲美。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之超速
Speeding
超速
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."
Vengaboys 翻唱卡本特的经典名曲《Sha La La》旋律优美，表达了一个女孩想念一个男孩的心情。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之我保证它很新鲜
I'm sure it is fresh
我保证它很新鲜
A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter, and I decided to try it. As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. "I'm sure it is," answered the waitress. "We've only been open two weeks."
Celine Dion 的 Goodbyes 这首歌表达了丧母之痛，要珍惜身边的人，坦言你对他们的爱和关怀。世间任何爱也比不上母爱，然而爱再强烈却终有一天会离去，即使终须一声再见，但你付出的爱将会生生不息。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之相亲
Blind Date
相亲
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
Michael Jackson 的单曲“You Are Not Alone”进榜即夺得冠军，创下《Billboard》历史上（也就是美国历史上）第一只首周夺冠单曲的记录。冠军单曲“You Are Not Alone”是 R.Kelly 替Michael Jackson 创作的。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之终身保修
lifetime warranty
终身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever eat twelve.”
[知行音乐英语随身学]之Girl from the North Country（Bob Dylan）
Bob Dylan（鲍勃·迪伦）是摇滚乐最终的谜。在迪伦的天资得以展现之前，艾尔维斯·普莱斯利已赋予了摇滚乐以形象和存在的理由；披头士乐队已经确定了摇滚乐在艺术界和音乐界的地位；而迪伦则证明摇滚乐有话可说。《来自北部乡村的女孩》（Girl from the North Country）是以传统为基础的爱情歌曲。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之老虎来了
When a Tiger comes
老虎来了
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.
One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
Nat lived in a small town in England. He alwalys stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought, "I've never been outside this country. All my friends go to Spain, and they like it very much, so this year I'm going to to there too."
First he went to Madrid and stayed in a small hotel for a few days. On the first morning he went out for a walk. In England people drive on the left, but in Spain they frive on the right. Nat forgot about this, and while he was crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked him down.Nat lay on the ground for a few seconds and then he sat up and said, "Where am I?"
An old man was selling maps at the side of the street, and he at once came to Nat and said, "Map of the city, sir?"
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!"
To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.
"Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you?" the man behind the bar asked.
Joe looked at Fred and said, "Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?"
"Yes, that's all right." Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, "And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that."
The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. "Which of you asked for the clean glass?"
On a plane going to New York the flight attendant asked a blonde sitting in the first-class section to economy since she didn't have a first-class ticket.
The blonde replied, “I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.” Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak to her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to move out of the first-class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.”
The co-pilot then asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to do.”
He went to the first-class section and whispered to the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section, saying to herself, “Why didn't anyone just say so?”
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to her. The captain replied, “I told her the first-class section wasn't going to New York.”
The lawyer asked the witness，"You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?" The witness replied，"Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away."
艾薇儿于2002年发行的首张专辑“展翅高飞”，在全球乐迷心目中，建立了一个不随波逐流、特立独行的清晰印象，一举将艾薇儿推举为新生代最具代表性的女性新声音以及新样貌。在创下全球近一千五百万张惊人的专辑销售佳绩，并且荣获八项格莱美奖提名之后，这一个加拿大籍的摇滚女孩，即将再以其全新力作“Under My Skin”席卷全球。其中"Nobody's Home"，也将艾薇儿内心深层黑暗的那一面，用音符以及其寓意，赤裸裸的呈现在大家面前。
[知行音乐英语随身学]之White Flag（Dido）
White Flag 是2004年全英音乐奖最佳女歌手Dido 蝉连英国金榜与全美抒情榜亚军的都会情歌佳作。
[知行音乐英语随身学]之Evergreen（Will Young）
Will Young 是英国一个名为 Pop Idol（流行偶像）的节目获胜者，红透全英国！因为他不但有英俊的外表，更有迷人的声线和扎实的唱功！他开始唱歌之后陆续推出三张单曲唱片，全部都是一上榜就登上单曲榜冠军位置，而且全部都蝉联数周冠军！对于一个新人来说，这样的好成绩简直是难以想象！可见 Will 受欢迎的程度！Will Young 利用了 Westlife 的没有发行的单曲 Evergreen，成为英国历史上第二最快卖出的单曲。
[知行哈哈英语随身学]之粉红西装卖出去了！
Pink Suit Sale
粉红西装卖出去了！
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
"That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me.Why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. "How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
2001年，Backstreet Boys 推出了他们的首张精选辑「精选辑－第一章（Greatest Hits- Chapter 1）」，其中的新歌"Drowning"获得全美单曲榜第28名的成绩。这首歌是为爱真心付出、深情不悔的深刻告白。
9月11日 新增：
[音乐之声] SHE（Groove Coverage）
德国新晋乐队 Groove Coverage 于 2002 年出道，乐队出道时间虽然不早，不过以其混合多种元素的舞曲风格迅速走红，驰名全欧！略带沙哑颗粒状的声线非常独特，让人流下深刻的印象！流传度最广的就是他们的God is a girl 和 SHE。
9月22日 新增：
[音乐之声] Nothings Gonna Change My Love For You（《廊桥遗梦》的插曲）
Nothings Gonna Change My Love For You 是一首曾风靡全球的老歌，中文译为“此情永不移”。这也是经典伦理爱情片《廊桥遗梦》的插曲。演唱这首歌的是来自美国夏威夷的Glenn Medeiros，Medeiros出道时只能在旅游车上卖唱，Nothings Gonna Change My Love For You 是 Medeiros的代表作。
[哈哈课堂]之班级、情人和蠢驴
Class, Lass and Ass
班级、情人和蠢驴
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
Mariah Carey 1999年出的单曲 I Still Believe 是出自她一张精选集#1's中，在这首歌中Mariah的嗓音可以说是无可争议。这首歌很受欢迎，被翻唱了许多版本。曾被做为NBA广告曲。也被林忆莲翻唱为《依然》。
I Still Believe 最早是1986年由 Bunny DeBarge 录制。一年以后，Brenda K. Starr 也录制了一个版本，而当时她雇佣了一个和声歌手，这就是 Mariah Carey。在1998年，Mariah 录制了她自己演唱的这首歌曲，并收录在专辑#1’s中，以感谢 Brenda K. Starr 的提携。I Still Believe 于1999年2月9日在美国发行，同年3月1日在欧洲发行。
[哈哈课堂]之他什么都没听到
He never heard a thing!
他什么都没听到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked="checked"out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.
Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked="checked"and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"
The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "
Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生吗？”老板问他的一个员工。
“我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。
“哦，那还好”。老板接着说。
“你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。”
[哈哈课堂] 有效
It worked
有效
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
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