Do you cry easily, Sam? I mean, when was the last time you cried?
你容易哭吗，山姆？我的意思是，你上一次哭是什么时候？
Sam(山姆)
Let me think… Last week watching a movie, probably. I was watching a really dramatic film and in one scene, the heroine gets separated from her children. I just burst out crying. How about you Neil - when was the last time you cried?
Come on, Neil! That’s a bit stereotypical, isn’t it? – the idea that men don’t show their emotions and women cry all the time.
来吧，尼尔！这有点刻板印象，不是吗？– 男人不表达自己的情绪，女人一直哭泣的想法。
Neil(尼尔)
Well, that’s an interesting point, Sam, because in today’s programme we’re discussing crying. We’ll be investigating the reasons why we cry and looking at some of the differences between men and women and between crying in public and in private. And of course, we’ll be learning some related vocabulary along the way.
I guess it’s kind of true that women do cry more than men. People often think crying is only about painful feelings but we also cry to show joy and when we are moved by something beautiful like music or a painting.
So, maybe women are just more in touch with their feelings and that’s why they cry more. Well actually, Sam, that brings me to our quiz question. According to a study from 2017 conducted in the UK, on average, how many times a year do women cry? Is it: a) 52; b) 72, or c) 102.
Hmm, it's a tricky question, Neil. I mean, there are so many different reasons why people cry. And what makes me cry might make someone else laugh. I think some of my female friends probably cry around once a week, so I‘ll guess the answer is a) 52.
OK, Sam. We’ll find out later if you were right. Now, while it may be true that men cry less often, it also seems that they feel less embarrassed about crying in public.
This may be because of differences in how men and women think others will view their public displays of emotion. Here’s BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour speaking to therapist Joanna Cross about the issue of crying at work.
这可能是因为男性和女性认为其他人会如何看待他们公开表达的情感存在差异。这是 BBC Radio 4 的 Woman's Hour 与治疗师 Joanna Cross 谈论在工作中哭泣的问题。
Joanna Cross(乔安娜·克罗斯)
Let’s take the workplace. If you’ve got somebody who seems to cry regularly, I think that’s not helpful for the individual because then if they cry over something that really is important to them, they might not be taken so seriously - or they get a label. But I do think crying is often a build-up of frustration and undealt- with situations and it’s a bit of a final straw moment.
You build up your resentments, your lack of boundaries, not being able to say ‘no’ and then somebody says, ‘Can you go and make a cup of tea?’ and you suddenly find yourself weeping. And everybody says, ‘What’s wrong with her?’ but actually that’s often a backlog of situations.
So, a common reason for crying at work seems to be a build-up of resentments - feelings of anger when you think you have been treated unfairly or have been forced to accept something you don’t like.
When left undealt with, these feelings can create a backlog - an accumulation of issues that you should have dealt with before but didn’t.
如果不加以处理，这些感觉会造成积压 - 您以前应该处理但没有处理的问题的积累。
Neil(尼尔)
Right. And then, like Joanna says, someone asks you to do something very simple and easy, like make a cup of tea, and you start weeping – another word for crying.
That’s a good example of a final straw moment, a term which comes from the expression, ‘The straw that broke the camel’s back’. The final straw means a further problem which itself might be insignificant but which finally makes you want to give up.
I hope this programme won’t be the final straw for us, Sam.
我希望这个项目不会成为压垮我们的最后一根稻草，山姆。
Sam(山姆)
I doubt it, Neil. The only time I cry at work is when you used to bring in your onion sandwiches for lunch. In fact, I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek right now…
Ah, so that counts as one of your cries, Sam. Remember, I asked you on average how many times a year women in the UK cry – and you said?
啊，所以这算是你的哭声之一，山姆。还记得吗，我问过你，英国女性平均每年哭多少次 —— 你说？
Sam(山姆)
I said a) 52.
我说 a） 52。
Neil(尼尔)
Well, don’t cry when I tell you that you were wrong. The actual answer was c) 72 times a year.
好吧，当我告诉你你错了时，不要哭。实际答案是 c） 每年 72 次。
Sam(山姆)
Which on average is more than men, but less than parents of new-born babies, both mothers and fathers. They cry almost as much as their babies!
平均而言，这比男性多，但比新生婴儿的父母少。他们哭得几乎和他们的孩子一样多！
Neil(尼尔)
Today, we’ve been talking about crying – or weeping, as it’s sometimes called.
今天，我们一直在谈论哭泣 —— 或者哭泣，有时被称为哭泣。
Sam(山姆)
People who often cry at work risk not being taken seriously – not treated as deserving of attention or respect.
经常在工作中哭泣的人可能会不被认真对待 —— 不被视为值得关注或尊重。
Neil(尼尔)
This means they might get a label – becoming known as someone with a particular kind of personality, even though that may not be true.
这意味着他们可能会得到一个标签 —— 被称为具有特定个性的人，即使这可能不是真的。
Sam(山姆)
But crying is also a healthy way of expressing emotions. It can help deal with resentments – feelings of anger that you have been treated unfairly.
但哭泣也是一种健康的情感表达方式。它可以帮助处理怨恨 —— 对你受到不公平对待的愤怒感。
Neil(尼尔)
If we don’t deal with these feelings in some way, they can grow into a backlog – an accumulation of unresolved issues that you now need to deal with.
如果我们不以某种方式处理这些感觉，它们可能会发展成积压 —— 你现在需要处理的未解决问题的积累。
Sam(山姆)
And if you don’t deal with them, you might become a ticking bomb waiting to explode. Then anything someone says to you can become the final straw – the last small problem which makes you want to give up and maybe start crying.
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