When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle.

当我20几岁时， 我见到了我的第一个需要精神疗法的病人。 当时我是一个在伯克利大学读临床心理学的Ph.D学生。 她是一位叫Alex的26岁女性。 第一次会面时Alex穿了 牛仔裤以及略微不修边幅的上衣， 进来后直接坐到我办公室中的沙发上， 踢掉她的鞋子， 然后跟我说她是来跟我讲男性问题的。 当我听到这个时，我松了一口气。 我的一个同学的第一个病人是一个纵火犯。 （笑声） 所以说我有一个二十几岁的人想跟我谈谈男生。 我以为我能处理好这事。

But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road. "Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.

但我没能办到。 Alex在每一次会面时都会带来好笑的故事， 因此对我而言点点头， 不断拖延出结果的时间是一件非常轻松的事情。 Alex会说“三十就是新的二十”， 而且就我知道的，她是对的。 工作要以后才有，结婚以后才有， 孩子以后才有，连死亡都是以后才有。 像Alex和我一样是二十几岁的人除了时间外一无所有。

But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back.

但没过多久，我的监督就催我 开始推动Alex的爱情生活。 我拒绝了。

I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."

我说：“没错，她现在在约会， 她和一个笨蛋同床， 但这并不表示她会和他结婚。”

And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one."

然后我的监督说： “现在还没，但她可能会和下一个这样的人结婚。 再说，在Alex的婚事上花费精力的最好时间 就是在她结婚之前。”

That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment. That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sitting there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.

这就是心理学家们所说的“原来如此！”瞬间。 在那一瞬间，我明白了三十岁并不是新的二十岁。 没错，人们比以前更晚安顿下来， 但这并不说明Alex的二十几岁这个时间段是她的发展低谷。 这使Alex的二十几岁一个发展的良好时期， 而我们就坐在那儿荒废它。 这时我才明白这种“善意的疏忽” 是一个非常现实的问题，而且它有严重的后果， 不仅是对于Alex和她的爱情生活 也对于各地的二十几岁的人的 家庭与未来。

There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. We're talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.

现在美国有大约5千万 二十几岁的人。 这大概是总人口的15%， 或者说100%如果你考虑到 没人能在不经历二十几岁这个阶段的情况下 经过成人期。

Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! Y'all's awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter.

如果你是二十几岁的话举一下手。 我非常想在这儿看到一些二十几岁的人。 太好了！你们都棒极了。 如果你和二十几岁的人工作，如果你爱一个二十几岁的人， 如果你因为二十几岁的人而失眠，我就想看到— 好的。棒极了，二十几岁的人非常重要。

So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.

我专门研究二十几岁的人，因为我相信 这5千万个二十几岁的人中每一个 都应该知道每一个心理学家， 社会学家，神经学家以及生育专家 都知道的： 那就是把握你的二十岁这一个阶段是最简单的， 但又是最有影响力的你能为 你的职业，爱情，幸福， 甚至是全世界做的事。

This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!" moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.

这不是我的观点。这是事实。 我们知道一个人的一生中的80%的最重要的时刻 发生在35岁。 这就意味着每10个 决定你的生命会是什么样的 的经历与“原来如此！”时刻 中有8个发生在三十岁中旬。 超过40岁的人，别慌。 我估计这个观众没问题。 我们知道一份职业中的前10年 对于你将会挣多少钱 有非常大的影响。 我们知道超过一半的美国人 30岁之前就和终生伴侣结婚， 同居，或者在约会。 我们知道大脑在你二十几岁时 为了适应成人期 达到第二次也是最后一次成长期的高峰， 这说明无论你想改变你自己的什么， 现在就是改变它的时间。 我们知道相比人生其他阶段 二十岁时的个性变化最大， 而且我们也知道女性的繁殖能力在28岁时达到峰顶， 到35岁之后事情就有点难办了。 因此你的二十几岁这个时间段就是 告诉自己自己的身体状况以及未来的选择的时候。