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Hi, Sian here for BBC Learning English. In this Masterclass, we're going to look at something British people love doing: being polite.

"No, I'm not coming to your party this evening."

"Wow, this food is disgusting!" "Give me some of your lunch."

Now, sometimes it's okay to be direct or even blunt with your friends, but it's important not to sound rude, particularly in the workplace.

We're gonna look at four ways you can soften your language to make you more polite.

Okay, listen to these two requests—which one sounds more polite and less direct, and why?

Number one: "Pick me up on your way to the party this evening." Or number two: "I was hoping you could give me a lift to the party."

Now, number two is much more polite.

We soften requests and suggestions and questions by using past forms, continuous forms, or both.

For example, "I was wondering if you could give me a lift later."

We can also make requests softer by using a negative question with a question tag.

So, "You couldn't give me a lift later, could you?" or "I don't suppose you could pick me up tonight, could you?"

Okay, listen to these two opinions—which do you think sounds less direct and more polite?

Number one: "You're too young to get married." Or number two: "I reckon you're a little young to be getting married."

Yeah, the second one is much less direct. It's softer.

We use verbs like "reckon," "guess," "feel" to make your opinions less direct.

You can also use vague expressions like "sort of," "kind of," "a little bit."

It also helps if you make it into a question: "Aren't you kind of young to be getting married?"

Okay. Now listen to these two problems—which one sounds less direct?

The first one: "You've made a mistake in this report." Or the second one:"You seem to have made a mistake here."

Yes. The second one was softer, less direct.

We introduce problems with verbs like "seem" and "appear" to soften them. So, "You appear to have saved over all my documents."

You could also use these to introduce your own problems. So, "I seem to have lost those reports you wanted."

Now, listen to these two ways of refusing an invitation—which one sounds less direct?

Number one: "No, I'm not coming to your party this evening."

Or number two: "I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to your party this evening."

Okay, again, the second one was much softer, less direct.

We find it really hard to say no, so instead, we use tentative language to soften it.

So, "I'm not sure I'll make it to your party," or "It's looking unlikely I'll be able to come this evening."

This basically means "I'm not coming."

Now, to find out more about avoiding being too direct and to practice not being rude,I was hoping you would check out our website: bbclearningenglish.com. See you soon! Goodbye!

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