When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs
本帖最后由 AOI 于 2011-11-2 21:09 编辑
今日對話
Sam: Hey, Henry, how's everything going, and what's with the flowers? Henry: They're for my wife. Sam: Oh, a wedding anniversary or something? Henry: To tell the truth, it couldn't be worse. [Oh]. You see, I have to pick my wife up from the airport this evening, but while she was gone, there were a few minor mishaps. Sam: Oh really? What happened? Henry: Well, I had some of the guys over Friday night to watch a basketball game on TV, but one of them got all excited, and started horsing around, waving his arms, and he accidentally knocked over my wife's 250-year old Chinese porcelain vase given to her [Oh no!], given to her by her grandmother, and broke it beyond repair. Sam: Man, have you tried . . . Henry: . . . super glue? Yeap, but she would be able to tell in a second I was trying to pull something over her eyes. Sam: Oh, wow. You're in hot water now. Henry: If it had only been that. Sam: Oh, there's more? Henry: Yeah, you see, the water from the vase spilled all over the manuscript of a book my wife has been writing for the past two years. It blurred the ink over many of the pages. [Oh no.] And so one of the guys had the bright idea of drying the pages by the fire while we watched, uh, the rest game, but a spark from the fire must have blown out and burned the manuscript to a crisp. Sam: But what about an electronic file copy? Had one, didn't she? Henry: Well, actually, her computer crashed the day before while I was playing some computer games, and I haven't been able to get it to work since. Sam: Man, are you in trouble now. [I know.] You're going to have a hard time digging yourself out of this one. [Yeah.] Ah, so I get it now. You're buying the flowers for her as a part of some kind of peace offering, right? Henry: No, not at all. They're for my funeral. Sam: [laughter]
Key Vocabulary [Top]
mishaps (noun): accidents
- There were a few unfortunate mishaps while we were on vacation.
horsing around (phrasal verb): playing around or wasting time
- Hey! Stop horsing around and get to work.
to pull something over someone's eyes (idiom): to deceive or hide the truth
- Don't even try pulling something over my eyes. I'll be watching you very carefully.
be in hot water (idiom): be in bad trouble
- Oh no, you broke the window! You're going to be in hot water when mom gets back from the store.
digging yourself out of something (idiom): trying to explain or justify the causes of a situation
- There's no way you're going to be able to dig yourself out of this one. It was your fault, so just admit it.
熱舌訓練
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.
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