So one morning, rushing to feed our crying toddler, my husband Adam drops a gallon of milk.
因此，有一天早上，我的丈夫亚当冲去喂我们哭泣的孩子，掉了一加仑牛奶。
He is so mad, he starts aggressively cleaning and cuts his hand under the fridge.
他非常生气，开始积极清洁，并在冰箱下割伤了手。
He's bleeding, hates blood, and we're out of bandages.
他在流血，讨厌血，而且我们没有绷带了。
So he drives to the pharmacy.
所以他开车去药房。
On his way home, He rear-ends an Uber.
在回家的路上，他追尾了一辆Uber。
All before breakfast.
一切都在早餐前。
That's stress.
这就是压力。
It's a little hilarious but mostly heartbreaking.
这有点搞笑，但大多数都令人心碎。
When what we're facing feels like too much, spilled milk becomes a flood, a headache at work spills into heartache at home.
当我们面临的事情感觉太多时，溢出的牛奶就会变成洪水，工作中的头痛就会变成家里的心痛。
Stress doesn't just happen.
压力不会凭空产生。
It's something we easily co-create, then spread like the flu.
这是我们很容易共同创造的东西，然后像流感一样传播。
But here's the good news.
但这是一个好消息。
If you can create stress, you can also learn to reset it in minutes.
如果你可以制造压力，你还可以学会在几分钟内重置压力。
No long meditations, medications or martinis required.
不需要长期冥想、药物或马提尼酒。
Just shifts in your mind, body and behavior.
只是你的思想、身体和行为发生了变化。
I call these pivots stress resets, and I love them so much, I wrote a book highlighting 75 of my favorites.
我称这些支点为压力重置，我非常喜欢它们，所以我写了一本书，重点介绍了我最喜欢的75个支点。
We will cover them all -- I wish.
我们将涵盖所有这些--我希望如此。
As a clinical psychologist, I've taught thousands of people how to ease intense emotions in crises, helping clients transform from wanting to die to building lives they cherish.
And I rely on these tools myself, whether I'm trying to get my three young kids to bed, a live-action version of Whac-A-Mole, or when I'm struggling to find the words to write a eulogy hours after losing one of my closest friends.
Of course, stressing over spilled milk isn't worrying that AI will hijack your career or facing a cancer diagnosis.
当然，对溢出的牛奶感到压力并不担心人工智能会劫持你的职业生涯或面临癌症诊断。
A reset won't turn awful into awesome, but it will let you ditch hopelessness and bring the best of you forward, sparking that priceless feeling of knowing you can count on yourself.
Practicing stress resets in ordinary moments allows you to reach for them when life feels unbearable.
在平常时刻练习重置压力可以让你在生活难以忍受时去寻求压力。
You might be wondering: Can you even feel better if your challenges aren't disappearing?
您可能想知道：如果您的挑战没有消失，您还会感觉更好吗？
Absolutely.
当然了。
Stress is less about what you're facing and more about believing you can cope.
压力与其说是你面临的事情，不如说是相信你能应对。
This isn't positivity.
这不是积极情绪。
This is regulating your nervous system, framing stress as an opportunity for growth and accepting sensations, even knots in your stomach, lowers cortisol and allows you to persevere.
What moves me most is research finds even refugees and asylum seekers grappling with being forcibly displaced can improve their mental health by learning strategies similar to ones we'll cover.
If peace of mind is possible in political limbo, it's definitely possible in your daily hustle.
如果在政治边缘可以获得内心的平静，那么在你的日常忙碌中也绝对可以。
Yet we create fender benders.
然而，我们创造了挡泥板弯曲器。
Short on money, we shop online.
缺钱，我们就在网上购物。
Big deadline, we bounce between procrastination and perfectionism.
大的截止日期，我们在拖延和完美主义之间徘徊。
Tired and lonely, we scroll at midnight.
又累又孤独，我们在午夜滚动。
Why?
为什么？
Because when emotions spike, clarity vanishes.
因为当情绪飙升时，清晰度就会消失。
We want relief now, so we turn to habits that hurt or reach for substances like alcohol, cannabis or Xanax that shrink our ability to think when we deserve to be our sharpest.
It sounds silly, but when you play with your unhelpful thoughts, you loosen their grip.
这听起来很愚蠢，但当你玩弄你无益的想法时，你就会放松它们的控制。
If you want to be more all encompassing, do you remember that song, "What is love?
如果你想变得更加包罗万象，你还记得那首歌吗？“什么是爱？
Baby, don't hurt me." Can we all please join together at the count of three, singing "What are thoughts?
宝贝，别伤害我。“请我们一起唱‘什么是想法？
Thoughts can't hurt me." OK.
想法伤害不了我。“好的。
What are our thoughts?
我们的想法是什么？
Thoughts can't hurt me.
想法伤害不了我。
Thank you, that was amazing.
谢谢，太棒了。
Even if you don't actually sing, changing your relationship with your insulting inner soundtrack and replacing dead ends with next steps will let you live more harmoniously.
Dialectical behavior therapists prescribe subtly smiling even when you don't actually feel happy.
辩证行为治疗师建议即使你实际上并不感到快乐，也要巧妙地微笑。
See, your face doesn't just reflect how you feel.
看，你的脸不仅仅反映你的感受。
It shapes your emotional experience.
它塑造了你的情感体验。
Research shows that Botox that prevents scowling improves mood.
研究表明，可以防止皱眉的肉毒杆菌可以改善情绪。
No need to freeze your forehead.
无需冰冻额头。
Half-smiling is your free and natural version.
半笑是你的自由而自然的版本。
Try being miserable or battling road rage with a resting Buddha face.
尝试着痛苦或用休息的佛脸与路怒作斗争。
Seriously, it primes you to accept whatever is, preventing you from adding a tension headache to everything else you're carrying.
说真的，它会让你接受任何东西，防止你给你携带的其他东西带来紧张头痛。
To be clear, this is not about faking happiness when you're legitimately upset.
要明确的是，这不是关于当你合理地沮丧时假装快乐。
It's about letting your physiology boost your bandwidth.
这是为了让你的生理机能增加你的带宽。
Plus, it can help foster connections with others, especially if your face otherwise looks like a big Do Not Disturb sign.
此外，它还可以帮助促进与他人的联系，特别是如果你的脸看起来像一个大大的请勿打扰标志。
Let's give half smiling a try.
让我们尝试一下半笑吧。
Anybody feeling more serene?
有人感觉更平静吗？
Now turn to the person next to you, and give them a little smile.
现在转向你旁边的人，给他们一个微笑。
You guys have such nice half smiles.
你们的半笑真是太好了。
How does that feel?
感觉如何？
Your body is a walking pharmacy if you know how to use it.
如果你知道如何使用它，你的身体就是一个行走的药房。
Three: act opposite to how you feel.
三：行为与你的感受相反。
Notice how when you're anxious, you avoid.
注意当你焦虑时，你如何避免。
When you're depressed, you lay low.
当你沮丧的时候，你会低调。
When you're angry, you yell?
当你生气的时候，你会大喊大叫？
Acting exactly the way you feel when you're totally overwhelmed amplifies negativity and piles on guilt and shame.
当你完全不知所措时，按照你的感受行事会放大消极情绪，并增加内疚和羞耻。
If you want to upgrade your mood, and how you live your life, the third tool is to notice your emotion-driven urge; ask yourself if acting on it is ultimately helpful.
Anybody procrastinate, you've got pressing to-dos yet suddenly it's time to empty your inbox?
有人拖延，你有紧迫的待办事项，但突然又到了清空收件箱的时候了？
That's pseudo-productivity or procrastivity.
这就是伪生产力或腐败行为。
The opposite action, lovingly bringing your full attention to the task that matters most, again and again.
相反的动作，一次又一次地将你的全部注意力集中在最重要的任务上。
Opposite action isn't superficial.
相反的行为并不肤浅。
It changes the way you see yourself.
它改变了你看待自己的方式。
What's the ultimate mental health hack?
终极心理健康秘诀是什么？
Regularly practicing opposite action.
定期练习相反的动作。
It improves depression and anxiety in weeks.
它可以在几周内改善抑郁和焦虑。
If stress tries to convince you opposite action is impossible action, or insists that you're just not the karaoke type, keep a Hope Kit, a collection of items that elevates your mood within reach.
如果压力总在告诉你，反向行动根本行不通，或是一口咬定你就不是唱卡拉 OK 的料，那不妨准备一个 “希望急救包”—— 也就是一个随手可得、装满能让你心情变好的小物件的收纳包。
It can have anything in it that propels you forward.
它里面可以有任何推动你前进的东西。
These are shown to generate real hope.
事实证明，这些可以带来真正的希望。
This is mine.
这是我的。
As you can see, it has pictures of my grandparents holding me as a little girl, cards from clients, a playlist with some dance-worthy Drake music and a note to myself to always be a light.
After savoring these reminders, consider: hope isn't just a feeling, it's a behavior you spread, touching the lives of the people you love and anyone you encounter.
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