What I have lived for

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for

knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither

and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of

life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which

one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought

it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that

saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is

what--at last--I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know

why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the

flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back

to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless

old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what

human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.