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lesson 47 改写-1 A Small greedy ghost

发布者: 茹诗 | 发布时间: 2009-4-2 11:02| 查看数: 2818| 评论数: 10|

20鲜花
A big wooden box which was received by my mother is up for sale .my mother is going to sell it Because it is haunted .She told me that she could not go to sleep one night because she heard a strange noise coming from the box .The next morning, she found that the cover was opened by someone and the contents was moved .Though my mother was blocked it before she went to bed ,it was on in the morning .She also said that she had found one empty biscuits box and one waterless fruit can which the ghost must have eaten the night before .When I suggested that my three younger brother must have come in for a good meal .My mother shook her head. He has told her that he would not accept the food that was for our youngest sister even if she gave him personally.

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A big wooden box which was received by my mother is up for sale .my mother is going to sell it Because it is haunted .She told me that she could not go to sleep one night(all night long?) because she heard a strange noise coming from the box .The next morning, she found that the cover was opened by someone and the contents was moved .Though my mother was blocked(delete WAS or change it into HAD? ...

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leec1120 发表于 2009-4-2 11:02:25
A big wooden box which was received by my mother is up for sale .my mother is going to sell it Because it is haunted .She told me that she could not go to sleep one night(all night long?) because she heard a strange noise coming from the box .The next morning, she found that the cover was opened by someone and the contents was moved .Though my mother was blocked(delete WAS or change it into HAD?) it before she went to bed ,it was on in the morning .She also said that she had found one empty biscuits box and one waterless fruit can which the ghost must have eaten the night before .When I suggested(suggest作建议?那么后边要用虚拟证据,表暗示?感觉不怎么对) that my three younger(three younger brothers or three-year younger?) brother must have come in for a good meal .My mother shook her head. He has told her that he would not accept the food that was for our youngest sister even if she gave him personally.

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tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-4-2 16:56:14
My mother is going to sell it because it is haunted .
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-4-2 16:57:22
Though my mother had blocked it before she went to bed ,it was on in the morning
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-4-2 17:00:29
When I suggested that my three younger brothers may have come in for a good meal ,my mother shook her head.(must太肯定了,你也是推测啊!)just my view.
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-4-2 17:02:44
He has told her that he would not accept the food that was for our youngest sister even if she gave him personally.从这句来看,你的younger brother 没有三个是吗?难道,你先前想说的是3岁?
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-4-2 17:03:48
She also said that she had found one empty biscuits box and one waterless fruit can (omit)which the ghost must have eaten the night before .
茹诗 发表于 2009-4-2 22:37:35
2# leec1120
茹诗 发表于 2009-4-2 23:10:30
leec1120 您好, 说实话,您能耐心的看完我的“大作”, 我真的很感动。 我会认真分析你修改的地方, 纠正他们。 谢谢您。欢迎下次,还能帮助我哈。
茹诗 发表于 2009-4-2 23:12:36
tezukazyunko 你好, 你的指点我也认真的看了, my three younger brothers 这个我想表达:我的三弟, 我没会说清楚, 两位老师都没看懂。 对不起。然后, 我会改正的。 谢谢。
leec1120 发表于 2009-4-3 09:03:16
呵,大家相互帮助~~相互学习~
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