[i=s] 本帖最后由 芥末膏 于 2009-3-16 11:27 编辑
A terrible case was （去掉was） happened on （我认为应用to） my mother-in-law lately.yesterday （注意y要大写，这些细节需要特别注意，要养成好习惯） , i （i要大写）went to see my mother-in-law , （需要加and，或者前面的逗号变句号，she told me...另起独立一句）she told me a terrible case concerned her （concerned her 显多余，去掉为好）, （句子已完成，要用句号）a （a 大写）few days ago , she had a walk herself in the street on （应该用in）a fine afternoon ，（用句号）by （句首大写）the way , she wanna see her an old firend （改成an old friend of her）, （逗号改句号） she （句首大写）had no sooner arrived at the gate of her firend than two thieves rushed towards her , （逗号改句号）one （句首大写）of themhad grabed her a pair of gold earrings before she had no （去掉no，句意才通顺）any reaction , （逗号变句号）another （句首大写）of them stayed at the wheels , （逗号变句号）they （句首大写）did this as quicklyas theycould , （逗号变句号）（句首大写）as my mother-in-lawsaid , they only spenta few seconds to do this , she even could not see what the thieves look like .they （句首大写）are the hardened professional robber.one （句首大写）of her ears has been hurted , （逗号变句号） （句首大写）itisn'twell until now ,（逗号变句号）（句首大写）she was still in a frightening condition while she talked about this with me . as （句首大写）my father-in-law said , now it's a wicked society , （逗号变句号）2009 is unfortunate for my family , （逗号变句号）（句首大写）my sister-in-law's handbag just was grabed on her way to work and my new mobile phone was stolen,too,（逗号变句号）（句首大写）now following my mother-in-law was suffered from robbers. in（句首大写） our town , a great number of cases are happening on （去掉on） every day ,every month and every year , （逗号变句号）（句首大写）the government can't control the complexion （建议用situation）, （逗号变句号）（句首大写） i don't know when we'll live ina peace （peaceful） and safety （safe） society where will be no any bad things to be happened, （逗号变句号）（句首大写）i am looking forward to seeing the day is coming.
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，俺知道咱们论坛的高手很多，故冒着“压力”，把俺的拙作呈上来，让老师给批改，请各位高手不要手下留情，该批的批
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