演讲题目：The Fine Art of Fibbing

演讲简介：

喜剧演员兼作家阿瑟娜·库格布卢尼有着独到的见解：我们都是说谎者，这没什么可过分纠结的。她探讨了那些不会造成伤害的小谎言与那些自私自利、危害极大的大谎言之间的界限，并提出了一个关键的问题，供自己思考，以帮助判断诚实是否是最佳选择，还是说说谎可能更适合当前的情况。



中英文字幕

I could not live without lying.

不撒谎我活不下去。

I'm British.

我是英国人.

If you ask me how I am, I will always say, "I'm fine."

如果你问我怎么样，我总是说：“我很好。”

I could have just stubbed my toe. I could have lost all my money on cryptocurrency.

也许我刚刚撞到脚趾。也许我买加密货币赔了个精光。

But don't worry, I'm fine.

但别担心，我很好。

It's not just us.

不仅仅是我们。

Absolutely no one on this planet could live without lying.

地球上绝对没有人可以不撒谎而生活。

Imagine telling the truth when your doctor asks you how much alcohol you drink.

想象一下，当你的医生问你喝了多少酒时，你说的是实话。

In a week, on average.

平均一周。

I'll give you a figure, but it will be my weekend average.

我会给你一个数字，但这将是我的周末平均水平。

I told you, I'm British.

我告诉过你，我是英国人。

We drink our alcohol in pint glasses.

我们用品脱玻璃杯喝酒。

If you don't know what a pint glass is, it's the glass you can fit your fist into.

如果你不知道什么是品脱玻璃杯，那就是你可以把拳头放进去的玻璃杯。

Lying is useful.

说谎是有用的。

It can keep us in denial of our responsibilities.

它会让我们拒绝承担责任。

It can help us avoid protracted conversations we don't want to have.

它可以帮助我们避免我们不想进行的冗长对话。

Sometimes lying is the right thing to do.

有时撒谎是正确的做法。

God forbid you should ever find me underneath the wheels of a bus.

上帝保佑你永远不会发现我在公共汽车的轮子下。

For goodness sake, do not tell me the truth.

看在上帝的份上，不要告诉我真相。

Tell me for a fact you know that I'm going to be okay.

告诉我一个事实，你知道我会没事的。

Don't accurately list all the bones in my body that are broken.

不要准确列出我体内所有骨折的骨头。

Tell me that I am going to make it to watch the next "Avatar" movie.

告诉我我会去看下一部《阿凡达》电影。

Give me hope.

给我希望。

We tend to think of lying as something bad people do to manipulate us when they want us to believe something that isn't true.

我们倾向于认为谎言是坏人为了操纵我们而做的事情，因为他们希望我们相信一些不真实的事情。

When most of the time for the day-to-day lies, it's just nice, ordinary people lying because in that moment it's easier than telling the truth.

当日常生活中的大部分时间都在撒谎时，那只是普通人在撒谎，因为在那一刻，这比说实话更容易。

For example, "Oh, I'll be there in five minutes."

例如，“哦，我五分钟后就到。"

When you haven't left the house yet, have you?

当你还没有离开家的时候，是吗？

Or, this is a good one, "I've read the terms and conditions."

或者，这是一个很好的，”我已经阅读了条款和条件。"

No one reads the terms and conditions.

没有人阅读条款和条件。

I've got a three-year-old and a five-year-old.

我有一个三岁的孩子和一个五岁的孩子。

Kids that age, I don't know why, they don't like to brush their teeth.

那个年纪的孩子，我不知道为什么，他们不喜欢刷牙。

So to get my kids to brush their teeth, I say, "Do you want me to throw your iPad in the bin? Do you want me to put it in the bin?"

所以，为了让我的孩子们刷牙，我说：“你想让我把你的iPad扔进垃圾箱吗？你想让我把它扔进垃圾箱吗？“

It's a lie, I'm not going to put their iPad in the bin.

这是谎言，我不会把他们的iPad扔进垃圾箱的。

But there's two stereotypes about British people.

但人们对英国人有两种刻板印象。

One about the state of our teeth.

一个关于我们牙齿的状况。

And one about the state of our drinking, OK.

还有一个关于我们饮酒的状况，好吧。

I only want them to fall into one of those stereotypes.

我只想让他们陷入其中一种刻板印象。

So I lie to get them to brush their teeth, and it works.

所以我撒谎让他们刷牙，而且效果很好。

And of course, it's a lie.

当然，这是一个谎言。

I'm not going to put the iPad in the bin.

我不会把iPad扔进垃圾箱。

No warranty will give me my money back because my kids are naughty.

没有保修条款会因为我孩子调皮而把钱退给我。

And it's my iPad.

这是我的iPad。

I think the trick is, is to ask this question: am I lying for my good or for someone else's good?

我认为诀窍在于，问这个问题：我撒谎是为了我好还是为了别人好？

I wrote a children's book about lies.

我写了一本关于谎言的儿童读物。

I combed history for lies that are well established as untrue,

我搜遍了历史，找到那些已经被证伪的谎言，

because I wanted to find that line between the kind of lie we tell every day, and the kind of lie we'd like to distance ourselves from.

因为我想找到那条界线，一边是我们每天都会说的谎言，另一边是我们想避而远之的谎言。

The kind of lie that you might tell a bride when you say, "I love the bridesmaid dress you chose. It's just my color." It's hideous.

有种谎言是你可能会跟新娘说，“我很爱你挑的伴娘服。颜色跟我很搭。”其实它很丑。

But that's a good lie. It's not about you.

但这就是个善意的谎言。它跟你无关。

It's about the bride, it's her day.

这是关于新娘的，这是她的一天。

She should have the dresses she wants.

她应该有她想要的衣服。

Or the kind of lie you tell to the elderly billionaire you're about to marry when you say you love them.

或者当你说你爱你即将结婚的亿万富翁时，你对他们撒的那种谎言。

That's a bad lie.

这是一个糟糕的谎言。

You should not get married for money.

你不应该为了钱结婚。

You should get married for a Netflix password.

而是应该为了奈飞账号的密码。

I think it's the selfish lies we need to deal with, OK?

我认为我们需要面对的是自私的谎言，好吗？

The kind of lies that might make people money.

这种可能会让人们赚钱的谎言。

The kind of lies that might harm others.

那种可能会伤害别人的谎言。

The kind of lies that might win people votes.

这种可能会赢得人们选票的谎言。

We need to get better at distinguishing between the acceptable lies and the unacceptable lies.

我们需要更好地区分可接受的谎言和不可接受的谎言。

And the way to do this is to get fib literate.

做到这一点的方法就是掌握谎言知识。

Want to be qualified in fibs?

想要具备谎言识别能力吗？

Ask yourself this question: when you're given the opportunity to lie, or when you've been given information and you're not sure it's true,

问自己这个问题：当你有机会撒谎时，或者当你得到信息但你不确定它是真的时，

ask yourself who will benefit.

问问自己谁会受益。

Some examples.

举一些例子。

You get home late, you're tired.

你到家很晚，感到很累。

Your partner was supposed to put the bins out. They have not.

你的伴侣本该把垃圾桶拿出去的。但他们没有。

Worse, they're going to go out and you're going to have to do the job yourself.

更糟的是，他们准备出门，你只能独自完成这件事。

And before they leave, they ask you, "Are you mad?" You're furious, you're incensed, but you say, "I'm not mad." That could be a good lie, OK.

他们出门前，问你说，“你生气了吗？”你气炸了，你一肚子火，但你说，“我没生气。”这可能是一个好的谎言。

They can take the bins out next week. It's not a big deal.

他们可以下周把垃圾桶拿出去。这没什么大不了的。

You're furious because you're tired.

你生气是因为你累了。

It's not a big deal, that's a good lie.

这没什么大不了的，那是一个好谎言。

Who benefits from that lie?

谁从这个谎言中受益？

Both of you in that relationship.

你们两个都处于这种关系中。

Another example.

另一个例子。

You've gone out with your friend, you've gone to the club.

你和你的朋友出去了，你去了俱乐部。

Your friend has driven.

你的朋友开车。

Whilst in the club, they've drunk five pints ...of wine.

然而他们在酒吧喝了 5 品脱……酒。

On the way out of the club, they say, "I'm good to drive. It's OK, it's a short drive. We barely have to do two right turns. It's not a problem, I'll get you home." That is a bad lie.

在走出酒吧的时候，他们说，“我能开车。没问题，又没多远。拐两个弯就到了。问题不大，我送你回家。”这就是个坏的谎言。

Who's going to benefit from that lie?

谁会从这个谎言中受益？

Nobody, that could harm others.

没有人，那可能会伤害别人。

The key to fib literacy is to apply the question, "Who will benefit?" to any scenario.

识别谎言的关键就是提出这个问题：“谁将受益？“

Take the mortgage crisis.

以抵押贷款危机为例。

Who benefited when lenders believed what the borrowers were telling them?

当贷方相信借款人告诉他们的事情时，谁会受益？

Who benefited when everyone believed the lenders when they acted British and said, "Oh, we're fine. Nothing to see here."

当每个人都相信贷款人时，他们表现得英国人并说：“哦，我们很好。”

The lies were building up like dirty laundry until the stench became too bad to ignore.

这个谎言就像脏衣服一样越堆越高，直到恶臭难以忽视。

Or take smoking.

或者拿抽烟为例。

Who benefited when they lied about our ill health?

当他们拿我们的健康撒谎时，谁从中受益了？

They made smoking look so cool with their lies.

他们用谎言让抽烟看起来很酷。

Imagine that picture of Audrey Hepburn in that iconic picture from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" with a vape.

想像一下奥黛丽·赫本在《蒂芙尼的早餐》

那张标志性的照片，手里拿着的却是电子烟。

We wouldn't change that cigarette for anything.

那支香烟已经印在了我们脑海里。

But it was still a bad lie.

但这仍然是一个糟糕的谎言。

The act of lying is a necessity that we need to use, and it's an act of social grace.

撒谎是我们需要使用的必需品，也是一种社交礼仪。

"Oh, I love that present you bought me. Thank you."

“哦，我喜欢你给我买的礼物。谢谢。”

"Your cooking tastes delicious."

“你做的菜味道很好。"

We're actually very skillful in deceit.

我们其实很擅长欺骗。

What we need to get more skillful in is determining the difference between the acceptable and unacceptable lie.

我们需要更擅长的，是搞清楚可以接受的谎言和不可接受的谎言之间的不同。

We cannot vaccinate ourselves from lies.

我们无法让自己对谎言免疫。

But by asking the question, "Who will benefit?" we can build resilience to deception.

但通过提出这个问题，“谁将受益？“我们可以建立抵御欺骗的能力。

I feel very bad to tell you all that we're all on the lying train.

我很遗憾地告诉你们，我们其实都处在谎言的列车上，

But the question is, are you going to get off on the good stop or the bad stop?

但问题是，你会在好的一站下车还是坏的一站下车？

You're right not to lie, that was a terrible analogy.

你不撒谎是对的，这是一个可怕的类比。

It was terrible, I'm sorry.

这太糟糕了，我很抱歉。

But you get what I mean.

但你明白我的意思。

And I'd like to take this moment to say this is an absolute honor.

我想借此机会说，我感到非常荣幸。

Thank you, TED, for giving me the greatest moment of my life.

谢谢TED，给了我一生中最棒的时刻。

No, no, no, sit down. Sit down, love, that was a lie.

不，不，不，请坐下。请坐下，亲爱的，那是句谎话。

I'm sorry, it wasn't the greatest moment of my life.

对不起，这不是我一生中最棒的时刻。

Do you want to know what the greatest moment of my life was or still is?

你想知道我一生中最棒的时刻是什么吗？

Do you want to know what the greatest moment of my life is?

你想知道我一生中最棒的时刻是什么吗？

Once, I got given a hotel breakfast for free.

有一次，我得到了一顿免费的酒店早餐。

It was a pretty good moment. Pretty good moment.

那是一个相当美好的时刻。相当美好。

But this comes close.

但这次演讲也差不多了。

Thank you.

谢谢。

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