20-30岁是人生的关键期，你走的每一步，做出的每一个决定，都会影响你以后的人生，愿这些话能给你们带去启迪和鼓舞。心理咨询师Meg Jay根据自己多年的经验，给处在这个重要时期的年轻人一些中肯的建议：过好20多岁的日子，为将来做准备。

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在20-30岁这个阶段，很多人会产生身份危机，不知该如何定位自己，Meg Jay建议大家与其纠结于此，不如做些实际的事情去增加自身价值，利用那些看起来比较远的关系拓展自己的人脉，认真考虑和选择自己将来的新家庭。

❶ To forget about having an identity crisis an identity crisis and get some identity capital .

忘掉身份危机，获得一些身份资本。

By get identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are.

做些可以增加你自身价值的事。

❷ The urban tribe is overrated.

不要局限于你的核心小圈子。

urban tribe：住在大城市的年轻人组成的小圈子。

New piece of capital, new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called our weak ties.

新的资本，新的约会对象大都来自圈外。新事物正是来自所谓的弱关系里。

❸ The time to start picking your familyis now.

现在是时候选择你自己的家庭了。

The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.

考虑婚姻问题的最佳时间是开始婚姻前，这意味着像挑选工作那样有意识地挑选爱情。

30 is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You're deciding your life right now.

30岁并非新20岁，所以要认清成人期，获得一些身份资本，利用弱关系，选择自己的家庭。不要被你不知道的，没做过的事情定义人生，你要自己去决定。