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聆听自己的羞耻感

发布者: 千缘 | 发布时间: 2020-5-21 02:07| 查看数: 71| 评论数: 0|

Brené Brown是一位研究者,也是故事讲述人。她曾经在TED上发表了一篇很有名的演讲:拥抱脆弱的力量。这篇TED演讲不仅获得了极高的播放量,还让她开始走红。在下面这篇演讲中,Brené Brown讲述了这之后的故事,以及她关于羞耻的研究。整篇演讲充满幽默,同时又直击人心。



I'm going to tell you a little bit about my TEDxHouston Talk. I woke up the morning after I gave that talk with the worst vulnerability hangover of my life. And I actually didn't leave my house for about three days.

我要跟大家讲一点关于我的TEDx休斯敦演讲的事。在演讲之后的那个早上是我这辈子经历过最糟糕最脆弱的宿醉,而且我有三天都足不出户。

The first time I left was to meet a friend for lunch. And when I walked in, she was already at the table. I sat down, and she said, "God, you look like hell." I said, "Thanks. I feel really -- I'm not functioning." And she said, "What's going on?" And I said, "I just told 500 people that I became a researcher to avoid vulnerability. And that when being vulnerable emerged from my data, as absolutely essential to whole-hearted living, I told these 500 people that I had a breakdown. I had a slide that said 'Breakdown.' At what point did I think that was a good idea?"

第一次出门是去见个朋友一起吃午饭。当我进去的时候,她已经在餐桌上了,然后我坐下,她说:“天啊,你看起来真颓”。我说:“谢谢啊,我觉得——我都不能正常思考了。”然后她说:“什么情况?”然后我说:“我刚刚告诉了500个人,说我成为了一个避免脆弱的研究者。而当我的数据表明,保持脆弱是全心投入生活所不可或缺的基础时,我告诉这500个人我崩溃了。我放了张幻灯片写着崩溃,我是搭了哪根弦会觉得这是个好点子呢?”

And she said, "I saw your talk live-streamed. It was not really you. It was a little different than what you usually do. But it was great." And I said, "This can't happen. YouTube, they're putting this thing on YouTube. And we're going to be talking about 600, 700 people." And she said, "Well, I think it's too late."

然后她说:“我看了你演讲的现场视频了,那不太像你,跟你平常有点不一样,不过真的很棒。”然后我说:我得阻止这个上YouTube,他们要把这个放到YouTube上去?那就是600人、700人的事了。然后她说:“这样啊,我看来不及了。”

And I said, "Let me ask you something." And she said, "Yeah." I said, "Do you remember when we were in college, really wild and kind of dumb?" She said, "Yeah." I said, "Remember when we'd leave a really bad message on our ex-boyfriend's answering machine? Then we'd have to break into his dorm room and then erase the tape?" And she goes, "Uh... no." Of course, the only thing I could say at that point was, "Yeah, me neither. Yeah -- me neither." And I'm thinking to myself, "Brené, what are you doing? Why did you bring this up? Have you lost your mind? Your sisters would be perfect for this."

于是我说:“问你一下”,她说:“好”。然后我说:“你还记得在大学时代特别疯特别傻的那时候吗?”然后她说:“记得呀”。于是我说:“还记得我们有时候给前男友的答录机留了一段特别糟的话,然后我们不得不撬开他宿舍的门,然后把那段话抹掉的事吗?”然后她说:“呃。。。不记得。”所以当然了,我也只能说,“哦,我也没有过那什么,我也没有。”

So I looked back up and she said, "Are you really going to try to break in and steal the video before they put it on YouTube?" And I said, "I'm just thinking about it a little bit." She said, "You're like the worst vulnerability role model ever." Then I looked at her and I said something that at the time felt a little dramatic, but ended up being more prophetic than dramatic. "If 500 turns into 1,000 or 2,000, my life is over." I had no contingency plan for four million.

然后我对自己说:“布琳,你在干什么?你在干吗呢?你怎么会提这个?你昏了头了吗?你的姐妹这方面是很完美的。”看我回过神来于是她说:“你不会是真的想撬门进去在他们上传到YouTube之前把视频偷出来吧?”我说:“我就是想了一小下。”她说:“你就是史上最糟糕的脆弱者的榜样。”然后我看着她说了一些当时看有点戏剧性,现在看更像是预言的话。我说:如果500变成1000或者2000,我就死定了,我压根就没想过四百万点击率是什么情况。

And my life did end when that happened. And maybe the hardest part about my life ending is that I learned something hard about myself, and that was that, as much as I would be frustrated about not being able to get my work out to the world, there was a part of me that was working very hard to engineer staying small, staying right under the radar. But I want to talk about what I've learned.

于是我的生活真的完了,而或许其中最困难的就是我发现了自身纠结的那一部分。那就是:一方面我会因为无法把我的工作成果展现给公众而失落,而另一方面我又非常努力地做到不引人注目,隐藏在公众的视线之下。但是我想讲一下我所学到的。

There's two things that I've learned in the last year. The first is: vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Let me ask you honestly -- and I'll give you this warning, I'm trained as a therapist, so I can out-wait you uncomfortably -- so if you could just raise your hand that would be awesome -- how many of you honestly, when you're thinking about doing or saying something vulnerable think, "God, vulnerability is weakness." How many of you think of vulnerability and weakness synonymously? The majority of people. Now let me ask you this question: This past week at TED, how many of you, when you saw vulnerability up here, thought it was pure courage? Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives. And I've come to the belief -- this is my 12th year doing this research -- that vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage -- to be vulnerable, to let ourselves be seen, to be honest.

在过去的一年我学到两件事,第一件事,脆弱不是弱点。并且这种错误理解是非常危险的。我想诚恳的请问大家——先给个提醒,作为一个受过专业训练的治疗师,我知道你们会感觉不太自在——所以你们只要举手就很好了——坦诚地讲有多少人,当你们想到做一些脆弱的事或说一些脆弱的话的时候,会觉得:“天啊,脆弱就是软弱,这就是软弱”?有多少人认为脆弱和软弱是一回事?大部分人现在我们这样来问:在TED刚过去的这周,有多少人,当你们看到(我在这儿讲)脆弱的时候,认为那是纯粹的勇气?脆弱不是软弱。我把脆弱定义为:情感的风险、流露以及不确定性。它驱动我们的日常生活。并且我已经达成了这样一种信念——我已经研究这个课题12年了——那就是,脆弱是对我们的勇气最精确的衡量——保留脆弱,开放自我,保持真诚。

One of the weird things that's happened is, after the TED explosion, I got a lot of offers to speak all over the country -- everyone from schools and parent meetings to Fortune 500 companies. And so many of the calls went like this, "Dr. Brown, we loved your TED talk. We'd like you to come in and speak. We'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mention vulnerability or shame." What would you like for me to talk about? There's three big answers. This is mostly, to be honest with you, from the business sector: innovation, creativity and change. So let me go on the record and say, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. To create is to make something that has never existed before. There's nothing more vulnerable than that. Adaptability to change is all about vulnerability.

有个奇怪的事就是在TED这个演讲轰动之后,我收到全国各地的很多邀请——从学校家长会到世界500强的公司。很多电话都是这样的:“嗨,布朗博士,我们喜欢您的TED演讲。我们想邀请您来讲一讲。但有一件事希望您不要提到脆弱或者羞耻。“(笑声)那你们想让我讲什么?有三个主要的答案。这些老实讲,主要是来自商业领域的革新,创造以及改变。那么就让我在这里当众声明:脆弱是革新、创造以及改变的发源地。(掌声)创造就是要制造出前所未有的东西。没有什么比这个更脆弱的了。适应改变的能力全都和脆弱有关。

The second thing, in addition to really finally understanding the relationship between vulnerability and courage, the second thing I learned, is this: We have to talk about shame. And I'm going to be really honest with you. When I became a "vulnerability researcher" and that became the focus because of the TED talk -- and I'm not kidding.

第二件事,在彻底的理解脆弱和勇气之间的关系之外,我所学到的第二件事就是:我们必须得谈论羞耻。我将对大家非常坦诚。当我成为了一个“脆弱研究员”并且因为那个TED演讲而成为焦点之后——我不是在开玩笑。

I'll give you an example. About three months ago, I was in a sporting goods store buying goggles and shin guards and all the things that parents buy at the sporting goods store. About from a hundred feet away, this is what I hear: "Vulnerability TED! Vulnerability TED!" I'm a fifth-generation Texan. Our family motto is "Lock and load." I am not a natural vulnerability researcher. So I'm like, just keep walking, she's on my six. And then I hear, "Vulnerability TED!" I turn around, I go, "Hi." She's right here and she said, "You're the shame researcher who had the breakdown." At this point, parents are, like, pulling their children close. "Look away." And I'm so worn out at this point in my life, I look at her and I actually say, "It was a fricking spiritual awakening."

我给大家讲个例子。大概3个月前,当我在一家体育用品店买泳镜啊护腿啊,这些父母买给孩子的东西的时候,从大概100英尺远,我听到一个声音:“脆弱TED!脆弱TED!”(笑声)我是第五代的德州人我们的家族格言是:“子弹上膛,准备战斗”我不是天生来研究脆弱的所以我差不多就这样,就一直走,她在我6点钟方向。(笑声)然后我听到:“脆弱TED!”我转过身,说:“嗨”她就在这儿,然后她说:“你就是那个崩溃了的羞耻的研究员”(笑声)这时候父母们都拉紧他们的孩子“看别处”这一刻我简直太无语了,我看着她脱口而出的是:“我靠,那是一次灵魂的觉醒。”

And she looks back and does this, "I know." And she said, "We watched your TED talk in my book club. Then we read your book and we renamed ourselves 'The Breakdown Babes.'" And she said, "Our tagline is: 'We're falling apart and it feels fantastic.'" You can only imagine what it's like for me in a faculty meeting.

然后她看着我就这样,“了解”然后她说:“我们在读书俱乐部看了你的TED演讲。然后读了你的书之后,我们就给自己改名字叫”崩溃辣妹“然后她说:“我们的标语是:‘我们正在分崩离析而且这感觉棒极了'"(笑声)你们就能想象我在教师会上是个什么情形了。

So when I became Vulnerability TED, like an action figure -- Like Ninja Barbie, but I'm Vulnerability TED -- I thought, I'm going to leave that shame stuff behind, because I spent six years studying shame before I started writing and talking about vulnerability. And I thought, thank God, because shame is this horrible topic, no one wants to talk about it. It's the best way to shut people down on an airplane. "What do you do?" "I study shame." "Oh." And I see you.

所以当我成了脆弱TED,像个玩具公仔比如忍者芭比,只不过我叫脆弱TED。我想,我该把羞耻感研究放一放了,因为在正式开始谈和写作关于脆弱之前,我花了6年的时间来研究羞耻感。我当时想谢天谢地,因为羞耻是个这么可怕的话题,没人想谈论它。它是让飞机上搭讪的人闭嘴的最好方法,“您是做什么的?”“我学习羞耻”“哦”(笑声)而且我看透你(笑声)。

But in surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule -- not a research rule, but a moral imperative from my upbringing -- "you've got to dance with the one who brung ya". And I did not learn about vulnerability and courage and creativity and innovation from studying vulnerability. I learned about these things from studying shame. And so I want to walk you in to shame. Jungian analysts call shame the swampland of the soul. And we're going to walk in. And the purpose is not to walk in and construct a home and live there. It is to put on some galoshes -- and walk through and find our way around. Here's why.

但是在过去一年的挣扎中,我被一个基本守则所提醒着——不是做研究的守则,而是基于我所受教育的一种道义上的驱使——你只能打好手里已经有的牌,我并没有通过研究脆弱而学习到勇气、创造、革新以及脆弱。我是通过研究羞耻而学到这些。因此我想带大家走进羞耻感。荣格(心理学家)学派把羞耻称作是灵魂的沼泽地,而我们就即将踏入。目的并不是走进去造个房子住下来。而是穿上胶鞋穿过去并找出可以走的路。下面是原因。

We heard the most compelling call ever to have a conversation in this country, and I think globally, around race, right? Yes? We heard that. Yes? Cannot have that conversation without shame. Because you cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame. We heard a brilliant simple solution to not killing people in surgery, which is, have a checklist. You can't fix that problem without addressing shame, because when they teach those folks how to suture, they also teach them how to stitch their self-worth to being all-powerful. And all-powerful folks don't need checklists.

我们已经听到最迫切的呼吁要在这个国家进行一场对话,而且我想全世界都是这样,一场围绕种族问题的对话,是吧?对吗?我们听到了对吗?不谈羞耻就不会有这场对话,因为谈种族不可能不谈到特权。而当人们谈到特权的时候,他们就被羞耻感所淹没了。我们听说了一个简单有效的方法,来降低手术中病人的死亡率,就是准备一个事项清单。不解决羞耻感就不会有这个方案,因为当他们教那些人(医生)如何缝合的时候,他们也同时教会那些人如何编织自己的自尊,直到认为自己是全能的。而全能的人是不需要事项清单的。

And I had to write down the name of this TED Fellow so I didn't mess it up here. Myshkin Ingawale, I hope I did right by you. I saw the TED Fellows my first day here. And he got up and he explained how he was driven to create some technology to help test for anemia, because people were dying unnecessarily. And he said, "I saw this need. So you know what I did? I made it." And everybody just burst into applause, and they were like "Yes!" And he said, "And it didn't work. And then I made it 32 more times, and then it worked."

这里我不得不把这位TED同伴的名字写下来,以防止弄错梅什金·英格瓦莱,希望我拼对了(掌声)在这儿的第一天我见到TED的同伴们。他站起来解释是什么驱使他创造某种帮助检测贫血的技术,以防止病人没必要的死亡。他说:“我看到了这个需要,你猜怎么?我做了一个”于是全场爆发出掌声,“真棒!”然后他继续说:“但是它不管用”然后我又试了32次,然后它成了。”

You know what the big secret about TED is? I can't wait to tell people this. I guess I'm doing it right now. This is like the failure conference. No, it is. You know why this place is amazing? Because very few people here are afraid to fail. And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I've seen, has not failed. I've failed miserably, many times. I don't think the world understands that, because of shame.

你知道TED最大的秘密是什么吗?我等不及想告诉大家我现在就在说吧(笑声)这就像是一个失败者的会议。不,它就是。(掌声)为什么这地方很神奇?因为这里几乎没有人是害怕失败的。而站在这个舞台上的还没有人,据我所知,是未曾失败过的。我曾经败的很惨,很多次。我觉得大部分人不明白这个道理出于羞耻感。

There's a great quote that saved me this past year by Theodore Roosevelt. A lot of people refer to it as the "Man in the Arena" quote. And it goes like this: "It is not the critic who counts. It is not the man who sits and points out how the doer of deeds could have done things better and how he falls and stumbles. The credit goes to the man in the arena whose face is marred with dust and blood and sweat. But when he's in the arena, at best, he wins, and at worst, he loses, but when he fails, when he loses, he does so daring greatly."

去年有这么一段话对我帮助很大,来自西奥多·罗斯福。很多人把它引用为“竞技场里的男人”。它是这样的:“荣誉不属于那些批评家。也不是那些坐在一旁对真正的做事者指指点点品头论足的人。荣誉归于竞技场里的男人他的面容被尘土、鲜血和汗水所模糊。但当他站在竞技场内,至好他能获胜,至差他会失败。但是当他失败时,当他输掉时,他失败得如此的无所畏惧。”

And that's what this conference, to me, is about. Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena. When you walk up to that arena and you put your hand on the door, and you think, "I'm going in and I'm going to try this," shame is the gremlin who says, "Uh, uh. You're not good enough. You never finished that MBA. Your wife left you. I know your dad really wasn't in Luxembourg, he was in Sing Sing. I know those things that happened to you growing up. I know you don't think that you're pretty, smart, talented or powerful enough. I know your dad never paid attention, even when you made CFO." Shame is that thing.

这就是它带给我的意义关于生命的意义,关于无所畏惧,关于站到竞技场上。当你走上竞技场把手放到门上,你想:“我要进去,我要做这件事”羞耻就是一个小精灵在你耳边说:“啊哦,你不够好。你从没拿到MBA学位。你妻子离开你了。我知道你爸爸不是在卢森堡他是在新新(纽约监狱)。我知道你从小到大的糗事。我知道你也清楚自己不够漂亮或者不够聪明或者不够有才或者不够强壮。我知道即使你当上了CFO你爸爸也从来没在意过。“羞耻就是这样。

And if we can quiet it down and walk in and say, "I'm going to do this," we look up and the critic that we see pointing and laughing, 99 percent of the time is who? Us. Shame drives two big tapes -- "never good enough" -- and, if you can talk it out of that one, "who do you think you are?" The thing to understand about shame is, it's not guilt. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is "I am bad." Guilt is "I did something bad." How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, "I'm sorry. I made a mistake?" How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry. I am a mistake.

而如果我们能平静下来,走进去对自己说:”我要做这件事“我们抬起头看到那些指指点点嘲笑的人,99%的时候是谁?是我们自己。羞耻始终播放着这样两句话——“永远不够好”然后,如果你能跨过这一层,“你以为你是谁啊?”需要理解的是羞耻不是内疚。羞耻专注于自身,内疚专注于行为。羞耻是”我很糟“内疚是”我做了很糟的事“在座的有多少人,如果你们做了一些伤害我的事,会愿意说:“对不起,我犯了个错误”?有多少人会愿意这么说?内疚:对不起,我犯了个错误。羞耻:对不起,我就是个错误。

There's a huge difference between shame and guilt. And here's what you need to know. Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. And here's what you even need to know more. Guilt, inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It's uncomfortable, but it's adaptive.

羞耻和内疚之间有巨大的差别。大家需要知道这些。羞耻是和下面这些行为高度相关的吸毒、抑郁、暴力、侵略欺凌、自杀、饮食失调。而更需要知道的是,内疚,则是恰恰相反。用我们已经做过或做错的事来拷问理想的自己,这种程度是可以非常灵活的。它不舒服,但是是可以调节的。

The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender. If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same. Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame. We're pretty sure that the only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy. Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath. So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame. Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.

关于羞耻还需要知道的另一件事就是,它是完全被性别所导向的。当羞耻感涌上我的心头和克里斯的心头,那感觉都是一样的。这里每个人都知道那是一种什么滋味。我们可以很确定的说,唯一不会感到羞耻的人就是不能建立关系或者不能感同身受的人。意思就是,是,我有一点羞耻;不,我只是不爱交际。那么我就会认为,是,你有一点羞耻感。羞耻的感受对于男人和女人都是一样的,但却根据性别有不同的处理方式。

For women, the best example I can give you is Enjoli, the commercial. "I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man." For women, shame is, do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat. I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. And it's a straight-jacket.

对于女人,我能想到的最好的例子就是恩乔丽(香水品牌)那个广告。我可以打着电话把衣服洗完,打包午餐,亲吻孩子的脸,工作从5点到9点,我可以带回家培根,把它放到火上煎,永远不让你忘了做男人的尊严。“对女人,羞耻就是事无巨细,尽善尽美而且从来不让别人看到你流汗。我不知道这广告卖了多少香水,但我保证,它省了不少抗抑郁药和抗焦虑药。(笑声)羞耻,对于女人,是一张网是一张由难以实现的、冲突的、抵触的期望所织成的关于理想的自己的网。是一件紧身衣。

For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one, do not be perceived as what? Weak. I did not interview men for the first four years of my study. It wasn't until a man looked at me after a book signing, and said, "I love what say about shame, I'm curious why you didn't mention men." And I said, "I don't study men." And he said, "That's convenient." And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because you say to reach out, tell our story, be vulnerable. But you see those books you just signed for my wife and my three daughters?" I said, "Yeah." "They'd rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall down. When we reach out and be vulnerable, we get the shit beat out of us. And don't tell me it's from the guys and the coaches and the dads. Because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else."

对于男人,羞耻并不是一系列彼此冲突的期望。羞耻是一样东西,不要被认为什么?弱。我研究的开始4年中没采访过男人,直到有一天在图书签售会后,一个男人看着我说:”我欣赏你关于羞耻感的观点,我很好奇为什么你没提到男人。”我说:“我不研究男人”然后他说:“这倒真是省事啊”(笑声)我说:“为什么这么说?”他说:“因为你说要走出去,讲自己的经历,不掩饰脆弱。但是你看到这些你刚刚给我妻子和三个孩子签名的书了吗?“我说:”嗯“”她们现在宁愿看着我骑着白马英勇的死掉,也不愿看到我掉下来。当我们走出去展现脆弱的时候我们会被乱拳打死的。而且别跟我说这是教练啊老爹啊这些男人这么做的,因为我生命中的女人们才是对我最残忍的。”

So I started interviewing men and asking questions. And what I learned is this: You show me a woman who can actually sit with a man in real vulnerability and fear, I'll show you a woman who's done incredible work. You show me a man who can sit with a woman who's just had it, she can't do it all anymore, and his first response is not, "I unloaded the dishwasher!" But he really listens -- because that's all we need -- I'll show you a guy who's done a lot of work.

于是我开始采访男人向他们提问。而我所学到的就是:如果你能给我找到这样一个女人,她确实能陪在一个被脆弱和恐惧所淹没的男人旁边,那么我就能给你找出能完成不可思议工作的女人。你如果能给我找到这样一个男人,他可以陪在一个已经快到底线,再也无法承受的女人旁边,而且他的第一反应并不是:”我把碗都洗好啦“(意指只会机械的做家务而不懂沟通)而是他能真切的聆听——因为那就是我们所需要的——那我就能给你找到真正能干的男人。

Shame is an epidemic in our culture. And to get out from underneath it -- to find our way back to each other, we have to understand how it affects us and how it affects the way we're parenting, the way we're working, the way we're looking at each other. Very quickly, some research by Mahalik at Boston College. He asked, what do women need to do to conform to female norms? The top answers in this country: nice, thin, modest and use all available resources for appearance. When he asked about men, what do men in this country need to do to conform with male norms, the answers were: always show emotional control, work is first, pursue status and violence.

羞耻感是我们文化中的一种流行病,为了脱离这个困境,找到重归彼此的路,我们必需要理解它是如何影响我们以及它如何影响我们教育孩子的方式,工作的方式,看待彼此的方式。非常快的分享一些来自波士顿大学的马哈立克的研究成果他提出了一个问题:怎样做才算是个标准的女人?在这个国家排前几位的答案是:善良、苗条、端庄并且运用一些资源来美化外表。当他问男人们,这个国家的男人们需要怎么做才算是个标准男人,答案是:永远喜怒不形于色,工作第一,追求地位以及暴力。

If we're going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy's the antidote to shame. If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.

如果我们想找到重归彼此的路,我们必须知道并理解共鸣,因为共鸣是羞耻的解药。如果你把羞耻放入培养皿,它需要三样东西来成倍繁殖:隐蔽、沉默以及裁决如果你放同样量的羞耻到培养皿里并且浇上共鸣,它就不能存活。在争执中最有力的三个字:我也是。

And so I'll leave you with this thought. If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it's seductive to stand outside the arena, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I'm going to go in there and kick some ass when I'm bulletproof and when I'm perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is, that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that's not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly.

所以我想把这些思考留给大家。如果我们想找到重归彼此的方法。脆弱将会是正确的路径。我知道站在竞技场外面是很诱人的,因为我想我一辈子都在这么做,并且对自己说,我要进去踢某人的屁股,只要我已经刀枪不入并且完美无瑕。这就是种诱惑。不过真相是这永远不会发生。而且即使你已经尽可能地完美了,并且把自己尽可能地装备成刀枪不入。当你进去的时候,那并不是我们想看到的。我们希望你进去。我们想和你在一起和你面对面。我们只是想要,为我们自己和我们在意的人以及和我们一起战斗的人,无所畏惧的征战。

So thank you all very much. I really appreciate it.

非常感谢大家。真的很感激。


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