有位名叫Dave Barry的记者在1995年写了一本名为“Complete Guide to Guys”（《男性完全指南》）的书，23年过后，其中的一个段落依旧为人津津乐道。



这段文字风趣地描绘了男性和女性思维模式的不同。

小故事的主角是一对相恋不久的情侣，Roger和Elaine。他们愉快地看了几次电影，约了几顿饭，感觉不错，就继续频繁见面，过了一段时间后，他们都不再和别的人约会了。



一天晚上，他们开车回家，Elaine有了一个想法，她不假思索地说了出来：

“Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”

“你知道吗，到今晚，我们已经约会整整六个月了？”

接下来，车内是一阵沉默。

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

车里变得很安静。对Elaine来说，这安静来得很喧嚣。她心想：天，我这么说是不是让他心烦了。可能我们的关系让他感到受束缚了，可能他觉得我在催他为这段关系负责任，而他也许不想，或不确定要不要做出承诺。

而Roger在想：

“Gosh. Six months.”

“我天，六个月。”

Elaine想：

But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward…

但是，我也不确定我是不是想要这样的关系呀。有时候我希望能有多一点空间，容我思考自己是不是真的想和他这样继续发展下去，一直走向……

I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? 我意思是，我们到底要走向哪儿？我们是按照这种亲密程度一直约会下去？还是说我们会结婚？生孩子？一辈子在一起？我准备好做出这样的承诺了吗？我真的足够了解这个人吗？

而Roger此刻在想：

…so that means it was… let’s see …February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means… lemme check the odometer… Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

……那就是说，我想想……我们是二月份开始约会的，那时我刚买了这辆车，也就是说……让我看看里程表……哇！我早该去更换机油啦。

Elaine继续胡思乱想：

He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed — even before I sensed it — that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

他很不安。我从他脸上就能看出来。也许我完全理解错了。也许他想要从这段关系中得到更多，更多的亲密感，更多的承诺；也许他感觉到了——甚至比我更早发觉——我是有所保留的。是的，我打赌是这样。这就是他不愿说出自己真实感受的原因。他害怕被拒绝。

而Roger的思想已经跑向了另一个方向：

And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

我还得让他们再看看变速器。我不管那些蠢货怎么说，这车换档还是不对。他们这次最好别说是因为天气冷。什么天气冷？现在外面30度，但这玩意儿换起档来像台垃圾车，我还付了那些无能的家伙600刀呢。

Elaine继续着她天马行空的关于双方感情关系和自我内心的剖析，Roger则将思绪集中到失灵装置的售后保障上……

Elaine想：

He's angry. And don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

他生气了，这不怪他，要我我也气。我真觉得对不起他，让他经受这种折磨，但我忍不住自己的想法。我总是不确定。

Roger想：

They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...

他们保不齐要说保修单只保90天……

Elaine想：

Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

也许我太理想化了，总想等着英俊的骑士骑着白马来接我，而我此刻正坐在一个好得不能再好的人身边。一个我能愉快相处的人，一个我真正关心的人，一个好像也真正关心我的人。而此刻这个人正因为我自私的小女孩式的浪漫幻想而饱受折磨。

Roger想：

Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and...

保修单？他们想要保修单？看我不把保修单甩他们一脸。我要拿着他们的保修单，然后……

沉浸在悲伤联想中的Elaine终于忍无可忍。

“Roger,” Elaine says aloud.

“Roger,”Elaine大声地说。

"What?" says Roger, startled.

“啥？”Roger吓了一跳。

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God I feel so..." (She breaks down sobbing.)

“别折磨自己了，”她说，泪水涌上她的双眼。“可能我真不该……天哪我真的觉得……”（她崩溃，抽泣。）

"What?" says Roger.

“啥？”Roger说。

她想到了方才内心戏中掠过的白马王子的影子：

“I'm such a fool,” Elaine sobs. “I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly.