男士们讲述自己坠入爱河的原因



Men Confess What Makes Them Fall in Love

男士们讲述自己坠入爱河的原因

Most people have a hard enough time admitting that they've fallen in love with another, never mind explaining what brought on such euphoria in the first place. Even women—the fairer, more verbal sex—rarely go into detail about how their hearts were won. Maybe that's just because, according to an old Chinese proverb, "Couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking." Um, right! Staffers at iVillage asked all the men they know what makes them fall in love. Here, the juicy secrets they revealed:

对大部分人来说，让他们承认自己爱上某人是非常困难的事情，更别说解释最初为何会产生爱的火花。即使更坦白，更擅长口头表达的女性们也很少详细讲述为何会对一个人芳心暗许。根据中国一个谚语，这或许是因为，“彼此相爱的情侣无需通过语言就可以交流许多事情。”呃，没错！iVillage网站的工作人员向他们认识的所有男性询问，是什么让他们坠入爱河。下面是他们透露的有趣的秘密：

"I found true love only one time in my life. Talk about compatible, we had everything in common—from taste in food to how many times we wanted sex. There was nothing about her I didn't like, until I found out that she did it only to please me and she didn't like anything we did together (except maybe the sex). She was a great actress and a great heartbreaker! My advice: Be honest and search for compatibility."—Giovanni, 41, CA

“我一生中只有一次找到真爱。说到和睦共处，我们在很多方面志趣相投——从对食物的喜好到渴望性爱的次数。她的任何地方我都喜欢，直到有一天我发现，她做这一切只是为了取悦我，她不喜欢我们一起做的任何事（除了性生活之外）。她是非常优秀的演员，也是个偷心大盗！我的建议：诚实，努力寻求和睦相处。”——哥伦比亚特区41岁男子Giovanni

"I fell in love with my fiancee, and I didn't even see it coming. One day I didn't get a chance to see her and found myself missing her smile, her laugh, her smell. You begin to recognize, expect and miss the way she does things or makes you feel. And then she surprises you, and you love her even more. I love the way she walks, moves, even the way she puts things in her purse."—Ed, 26, NY

“我在自己根本没有意识到的时候就爱上了我的未婚妻。有一天，我一直没有见到她，我就发现自己思念她的微笑，她的大笑，她的味道。你就开始认可，期待，思念她做事的方式和给你带来的感觉。然后她开始给你带来惊喜，你就更加爱她。我喜欢她走路，运动，甚至她把东西放进钱包的样子。”——纽约26岁男子Ed

"True story: I met a woman online, and when we got together for our first date, she said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I don't feel like a fancy dinner. Can we just go get some burgers and a few beers, then go back to my house and play video games?' Now, I'm not a big video gamer, but even I thought that was adorable. It was true, pure love. Then we broke up, but still..."—Tom, 34, NY

“这是一个真实的故事：我在网上遇到了一名女子，当我们第一次约会的时候，她说，‘我希望你不要介意，但是我不喜欢华丽的晚餐。我们随便买几个汉堡，几瓶啤酒，然后回我家打游戏怎么样？’我并不是一名出色的游戏玩家，但我当时觉得很惬意。这是真正的，纯洁的爱。后来我们分手了，但是仍然……”——纽约34岁男子Tom

"I fall in love with someone who can make me laugh, who makes me smile the moment I hear her voice or see her face, who can make me forget everything else going on around me. Her presence alone is enough to make me feel like the most important person in the world. (She should feel the same way about herself in my presence. It's a two-way street.)"—Seth, 25, NY

“如果一个女孩能让我大笑，她的声音和面容能让我微笑，她的存在能让我忘掉一切，我就会爱上她。她的出现本身就足以让我感到自己是世界上最重要的人。（而她对我的存在也要有同样的感觉。这是一条双行道。）”——纽约25岁的Seth

"I think members of both sexes are often attracted to people who are not attracted to them. Someone who doesn't want you is irresistible. Often, when I know a girl is into me, that's a big turnoff."—Tom, 26, NY

“我认为，无论是男性还是女性都容易喜欢上不喜欢自己的人。不喜欢你的人是难以抗拒的。通常，当我知道一个女孩喜欢我时，我就会感到很扫兴。”——纽约26岁的Tom

"I am a sucker for love. It won't take much for me to fall for her—besides her undying love for me."—Yash, 25, DC

“我对爱情如痴如醉。让我爱上一名女子非常容易——但是她对我的爱必须永恒不变。”——哥伦比亚特区25岁的Yash

"It's rather simple, I guess, and in this order: the looks, the sex and the clincher would be her ability to cook. All are necessary to equate to love."—Big John, 32, NJ

“非常简单，我猜，大概是这样的顺序：外表，性，然后就是厨艺。这些都是让我爱让一名女子的必要条件。”——新泽西州32岁的Big John

"I can't fall in love with a woman if she doesn't have a sense of adventure. I'm not talking about sky diving or anything like that, but she should be willing to see a film that she wouldn't normally see, attend concerts that contradict her usual taste, etc. New York City is just too amazing and has so much to offer, it drives me crazy when people (not just women) are content to just move in their small circles."—Jonathan, 29, NY

“如果一名女子没有冒险精神的话，我不会爱上她。我说的不是跳伞等刺激性的运动，但是她必须愿意看平时不看的电影，乐意欣赏与她平时品味相冲突的音乐会等。纽约市的生活非常丰富多彩，有许多新鲜事物。不仅仅是女性，对于所有满足于在自己的小圈子里活动的人，我都觉得抓狂。”——纽约29岁的Jonathan

"Let's look at love like a body of water. To reach the deep end, you must first travel through the shallow end. With that in mind, I feel that initially there has to be physical attraction. It's also important to 'like' the woman before you can love her. I think when it all comes down to it, what makes me fall in love with a woman is being able to talk with her. Every guy I know who's in love has a story that sounds something like this: 'I think this could be it. The other night, we just talked for like eight hours with no uncomfortable silence!'"—Bill, 24, NJ

“让我们把爱视作一片水域。要达到深深的水底，你必须首先穿过浅滩。记住这一点，我觉得首先外表必须有吸引力。在爱上一名女子之前，必须先喜欢她。这一点也很重要。我认为归根结底，让我爱上一名女子的关键就是能够和她谈得来。我认识的所有坠入爱河的朋友几乎都有这样的故事：‘我认为应该是这样。有一天晚上，我们不间断地聊了八个小时，中间没有任何尴尬的沉默。’”——纽约24岁的Bill

"I love it when women can do guy stuff better than me. Everyone is a better driver than I am—in fact, everyone's blind, drunken grandmother is a better driver than I am—so that doesn't count, but women who do things like eating hot peppers or belching or enjoying war movies make me crazy in the good way."—Tom, 34, NY

“当女人做男人的事情比我做得还好时，我就会爱上她。当然，每个人驾车都比我好——实际上，每个人眼盲喝醉的祖母都比我更会开车——所以这一点不算。但是，如果女人吃辣椒，打嗝或看战争片比我在行，我就会为她痴狂。”——纽约34岁的Tom

"To fall in love, I need to feel safe to discuss anything with my girlfriend and know that she will not judge me harshly. I also need to know that she supports me, because life is tough enough without having to battle in relationships. She should have inner and outer beauty. She should be honest, and if there is a problem, we should work together to resolve it in a constructive way. Her personality should bring out my best qualities, including my sense of humor."—Ralph, 36, DC

“要我为之倾心的话，我要觉得与我的女朋友讨论任何事都是安全的，知道她不会毫不留情地批评我。我还要知道她支持我，因为即使不处理复杂的恋情，生活原本已经足够艰难了。她必须兼具内在美和外在美。她必须诚实，如果有问题的话，我们一起以建设性的方式解决。她的性格应该能激发我最优秀的品质，包括我的幽默感。”——哥伦毕亚特区36岁的Ralph

"Love is a series of subtle events culminating with the realization that this woman is capable of drawing out a force that allows you to be something more than you can be on your own, something greater."—Doug, 29, MA

“爱是一系列小事的组合，最终到达高潮时让你意识到，这名女子可以激发出你的潜能，让你比独自一人时更优秀，更重要。”——马萨诸塞州29岁的Doug

"I fell in love with a girl when she could tell me what a 6-4-3 DP meant in a baseball box score without having to be told 3,987 times. I fell in love with a girl when she truly realized that I'm not selfish, just completely clueless about why she would want someone other than me. I fell for a girl when she understood that it doesn't have to be true when she massages my ego. It doesn't even have to be reasonable or make sense, just as long as the ego boosts keep coming."—Danny, 24, DC

“如果一个女孩能够告诉我棒球比赛比分6-4-3 DP是什么意思，而不需要我一遍又一遍地告诉她，我就会爱上她。如果一个女孩能够真正意识到我并不自私，只是完全不明白为何她会喜欢别人而不是我，我就会爱上她。如果一个女孩能够理解，当她满足我的自尊心的时候不需要太诚实，我就会爱上她。甚至可以不合理，说不通，只要能够不断激励我就可以了。”——哥伦比亚特区24岁的Danny

"You just have to be able to talk to each other."—Doug, 30, MA

“只要相互之间能够对话就可以了。”——马萨诸塞州30岁的Doug

"If you know when my head is in a bad place, if you know when I need a phone call, if you know when I need to be told I'm good at something, if you know when I need to be told I'm awful at something, then just maybe I'm falling in love with you."—Matt, 25, PA

“如果你知道我脑子里乱七八糟，如果你知道我需要打电话，如果你知道我需要人告诉我我擅长做某事，如果你知道我需要被告知我某事做得很糟糕，或许我就会爱上你。”——宾夕法尼亚州25岁的Matt