对于在中国生活了快30年的约翰·约翰逊来说，退休前后的人生，从工程师到慈善行业从业者，经历了一种奇异转变。

如今，他的一天这样展开：早起，和伴侣汤崇雁吃过早餐，打开电脑，为“汤妈妈公益慈善中心”做一些辅助性工作，做家务，出门时，他会小心地拄着拐杖，牵着家里一只同样年迈的小狗，漫步在苏州的金鸡湖畔。

For nearly 30 years, John Johnson, a British engineer who came to China in the mid-1990s, has made the country his home. Now in his retirement, he spends his days walking his aging dog along the shores of Jinji Lake in Suzhou, leaning on a cane, content and unhurried.

“关于中国，我热爱的事物有很多。”约翰在采访里不止一次提到这句话。

“如果让我在中国终老，我是很乐意的。”这些年，从英国到上海，再到苏州，从两个人到四个人，从组建跨国家庭的小家庭，到为慈善帮扶对象打造临时居住的大家园——家庭的意象不断在变化，但不变的是，跨国家庭的这份慈善情缘。

"I would be very happy to spend the rest of my life in China," John said during an interview.

But his life here is far from ordinary. Together with his Chinese wife, Tang Chongyan, John has quietly transformed their home into a sanctuary for children from impoverished mountainous regions — a place where they can start to heal and feel that someone is genuinely trying to help them.

一个跨国家庭的初相识

性格外向直爽、行事果断的汤崇雁出生于上海的一个军人家庭，90年代初，为了摆脱家里的包办婚姻，她选择出国追求自己的人生，随后加入了一家在阿联酋设有办事处的公司。

彼时，英国工程师约翰·约翰逊同样在阿布扎比的沙漠工作，两人就这样意外相遇了。“因为安妮（汤崇雁）的个性气质，我立刻被她吸引了。”约翰说。

Tang, born in Shanghai into a military family, left China in the early 1990s to escape an arranged marriage. She found work with a company operating in the United Arab Emirates. It was there, in the desert of Abu Dhabi, that she met John, a British engineer.

"Annie's personality and temperament drew me to her immediately," John recalled, using Tang's English name.

相恋近一年时，他们在香港注册结婚。那时，约翰的父母早已离世，唯二的亲人是哥哥和妹妹。汤崇雁的父母对这个稍显腼腆却可靠的男人没有意见，而约翰的亲友对家庭中即将有一个中国人的加入感到非常好奇，但从未表示反对。

They married in Hong Kong six months later. John's parents had already passed away, leaving only a brother and a sister. Tang's parents had no objections to their reserved but dependable British son-in-law.

两人结婚后辗转多地，曾在英国戴德姆、上海生活。2009年，汤崇雁和她的英国籍丈夫约翰带着两个孩子来到苏州，距今已经过去17年。

汤妈性子急，说话像连珠炮，约翰则喜静，每句话都深思熟虑，这个家庭总在一种互补与冲突中，不断找到新的平衡。“安妮是个工作狂。”约翰分享他眼中的汤崇雁，从起床到睡觉，无时无刻都在思考她的慈善工作——这份事业充分发挥了汤崇雁的性格特质，“如果安妮面前的某扇门猛地拍在她脸上，她转身便去叩响另一扇。若有人对她说‘不’，她便去思量如何让那个‘不’字变成‘好’。”这是约翰无法做到的，他认为汤崇雁把帮助别人“视为自己的职责”，这很少见，两人因此共同走过多年风雨。

The couple moved several times — from the UK's Dedham to Shanghai — before settling in Suzhou in 2009 with their two children. Theirs has always been a marriage of contrasts: Tang is outspoken and quick-tempered, while John is quiet and deliberate. Yet, they have constantly found balance.

"Annie is a workaholic," John said. "From the moment she wakes up until she goes to bed, she's thinking about charity work. If a door slams in her face, she turns to another. If someone says no, she tries to figure out how to turn it into a yes."

对于汤妈而言，谈起自身投入慈善工作时，“经常是一进入大山，看望大山里的孩子，就什么也管不了了。”她说，约翰是自家孩子的爸爸，而她却是大山里很多孩子唯一的“汤妈妈”。在很多人眼里，这是未曾担负家庭责任的体现，而约翰却对此表示理解，并无条件包容。

两人在一次聊天中，谈及约翰退休后是否回英国，他说了一句话，令汤妈印象深刻：“如果我回英国，那么你也要跟着我回去，但你在中国做好事很开心，要知道，不是每一个人的人生都能够‘fulfill’。”——这里的“fulfill”指的是人能够实现自我价值，获得人生的圆满，收获意义感。约翰对汤妈说：“当全职主妇不是你想要的，我愿意在这里，陪你过你想要的生活。”

Tang admits that once she enters the mountains to visit children in need, "nothing else matters". She said: "John is the father of our children. But I am the only 'Mother Tang' for many children in the mountains."

To many, this might appear as neglect of family responsibilities. But John has never seen it that way. During a conversation about whether they would return to the UK after his retirement, John told her something she has never forgotten: "If I go back to the UK, you would have to come with me. But you are happy doing good things in China. Not everyone gets to fulfill their life. I am willing to stay here and live the life you want."




更最重要的因素是，约翰和汤崇雁于1996年第一次抵达上海，在三十年间，他们见证了这个国家经历的时代巨变。在上海的早期日子里，他们曾居住在1992年刚刚正式批准成立的、本是“一片农田和旧城”的上海浦东新区，“刚来中国的时候，（街上）成千上万辆自行车，这让我想起我小时候等待爸爸下班时，他从大门里骑车出来......那时候，我觉得中国比西方稍微落后一点。”很快他们搬家到金茂大厦旁，2008年，上海中心大厦动工，变化迅速发生着。

约翰坚信，如今的上海，仿佛是“太空时代”，而如今的中国，他会选用“干净”“美丽”“历史悠久”这些词来概括。“他说中国是一个安全的国家，在这里生活得很开心。”汤妈说。维系家庭运转当然离不开两人真挚的感情基础，但与此同样重要的是，身之所处的场域，是否真的是其心之所向，被称之为家园的环境，必然有其让人甘愿扎根的理由，也有其无法回避的棱角。



为了孩子的教育回到中国

从英国搬回中国，起到决定性影响的，是孩子的教育。

约翰和汤崇雁发现，在英国上学的两个孩子不愿意开口说中文，因为在当地，除了汤妈，没有人会说中文。两人随即下定决心，要带孩子回国——这不是个简单的决定，在最开始的6个月，这甚至说得上艰难。

汤妈回忆起汤燕妮小时候的作文，里面充斥着巨大的痛苦，“她从来没学过汉字的笔画，所以她是在画字。”汤妈回忆：“当时学校建议她读一年级，从最基础的学起来。我说能不能给我一个学期，她语文还考不到60分，我们再降级。”三年级毕业时，汤燕妮语文考了62分。

The decision to move back to China was largely driven by their children's education. While living in the UK, John and Tang noticed their two children refused to speak Chinese — simply because no one else around them did.

They made the difficult choice to return. The first six months were especially hard. Their daughter Tang Yanni struggled so much with Chinese characters that her teacher suggested she repeat first grade. Tang asked for one semester. "If she still can't get 60 points in Chinese, we'll let her repeat," she told the teacher. At the end of third grade, Yanni scored 62.



“当时每晚上，她写作业都写到11点多。”约翰不理解，为什么你要让孩子那么辛苦？约翰尊重孩子玩乐的天性，但汤燕妮逐渐上升的成绩回答了约翰的疑惑，之后他们达成共识：对于小孩而言，学习是第一位的要紧事。

Every evening, she would do homework until after 11 pm. John did not understand why she had to work so hard. But as her grades improved, so did his understanding. They reached a consensus: education comes first.



两个孩子在长大成人后，感激父母“做了一个正确的决定”，把他们俩带回中国，学习中文。儿子汤杰克国际关系学硕士毕业后入职联合国旗下一家下属机构，工作领域聚焦在中美间的禁毒问题上，因为讲得一口流利中英文，他顺利获得了这份工作。

约翰常和身边的朋友讲：“小孩的学习习惯，需要在中国打基础。”汤崇雁也一直强调：“无论你们去哪里求学，中国一定是你们永远的根。”

Both children have since thanked their parents for bringing them back to China to learn Chinese. "No matter where you go to study, China will always be your root," Tang has always told them.



慈善之路

退休前，约翰的工作性质令他满世界奔走，汤崇雁则短暂地回归家庭。而古道热肠的“汤妈妈”却始终闲不下来，从2000年起，汤崇雁第一次接触到慈善工作，之后，她的爱心资助从江苏到贵州，再到云南、四川、山东、甘肃、青海、西藏等地，从未间断。

汤妈妈逐渐投身于慈善事业，也为这个跨国家庭带来了角色转变的机会——约翰退休前，汤崇雁当过一段时间“家庭主妇”，而约翰退休后，成为汤崇雁的忠实“跟班”。

Tang began volunteering in 2000, helping children in need from Jiangsu to Guizhou, Yunnan, Sichuan, and Shandong. In 2015, she registered the Tang Mama Charity Center in Suzhou Industrial Park. She was later named "China's Good Person" — a national honor recognizing outstanding civic virtue.

John, after retirement, became her most loyal supporter — helping organize donations, planning events, and running charity sales.

2015年，汤崇雁注册了苏州工业园区汤妈妈公益慈善中心，并被评为“中国好人”。约翰也组织募捐、策划、义卖……越来越忙碌，汤崇雁在2020年落地了“汤妈妈公益志愿服务超市”项目，这个项目成为一个小小的志愿服务的文明窗口，市民都可以前往参观，了解身边可以参与的公益项目。

One of their most profound stories involves a young woman named Wang Mingdi.

在汤妈妈公益志愿服务超市，有一个特殊的志愿者。她叫王明弟，对她而言，汤妈和约翰叔叔不仅仅是施助者，更是把她从漫长崎岖的人生小路上，背起来走向平川的人。

她自小患有先天性软骨发育不良，别人半小时的路，她要走上三个小时。是姐姐和弟弟背着，才完成了上学路。汤妈走进甘肃会宁的大山助学时，走访到了她家。一开始，汤妈并不知道她的身体情况，了解之后，她没有轻易许下承诺，只是默默记在了心里。回到苏州，她对接了苏州大学附属儿童医院的王晓东院长，说可以看看这个孩子。

Mingdi was born with congenital cartilage hypoplasia — a condition that made walking difficult. A 30-minute walk for others would take her three hours. Her sister and brother carried her to school.

Tang first met Mingdi during a trip to the mountains in Huining, Gansu province. She did not promise anything at first. But back in Suzhou, she contacted the dean of the Children's Hospital of Soochow University.



初中毕业那年，明弟和姐姐带着汤妈买好的车票来到苏州。约翰和汤妈一起去火车站接她们，然后一趟一趟带着她做各项检查。

2021年7月15日，她做了第一次手术，小腿矫正，断骨重接。做完手术的那一刻，原本弯曲的O型腿变直了，汤妈握着她的手说：“长高了4公分哦！”从一米四六到一米五，明弟说，那是重生。

After Mingdi graduated from middle school, Tang bought train tickets for her and her sister to come to Suzhou. John and Tang met them at the station and took her for medical examinations.

On July 15, 2021, Mingdi underwent her first surgery — a leg correction procedure that involved breaking and resetting the bone. When it was done, her once-bent legs were straight. Tang held her hand and said, "You've grown 4 centimeters!"

From 1.46 meters to 1.50 meters. "It was a rebirth," Mingdi said.

康复的日子漫长而枯燥。约翰叔叔会带着书籍来医院，让她读自己喜欢的书。第一次带着钢架尝试下地走路时，汤妈和约翰一边一个，扶着她，让她站起来，让她走。那是她第一次用笔直的腿走路。

Recovery was long and tedious. John brought books to the hospital. When she first tried to walk with a steel frame on her leg, they stood on either side of her, helping her stand, helping her walk.

后来做脚踝手术，到了出院回家的时候，医生叮嘱她，不能垂着腿，给脚踝压力。但坐在轮椅上，双脚自然就会下垂，约翰又想办法，通过爱心商家傅老板，一起在轮椅上加了一块板子，刚好托住她的腿。明弟回忆起上火车时的画面，她心里正担心怎么上火车，约翰叔叔把她抱起来，小心翼翼又紧张地把她挪到卧铺上。“这对我而言，真的是一种幸福。”

Later, after ankle surgery, doctors said she could not let her legs hang down. But a wheelchair naturally forces that position. So John found a way to add a board to the wheelchair — just wide enough to support her legs.

When it was time to take the train home, John carried her carefully onto the sleeper car. "I felt guilty and grateful at the same time," Mingdi recalled. "But more than anything, it was happiness."



如今，明弟健康起来了，还成为汤妈妈公益的一名工作人员。住在汤妈家的时候，约翰叔叔会给她做饭，会用翻译软件跟英语不好的她聊天，说她性格很好，这是一种天赋。她说，来到苏州，不是到了一个陌生的城市，而是去了另一个家。

Today, Mingdi is healthy and works as a staff member at Tang's charity center. When she stays at their home, John cooks for her. He uses translation apps to talk with her, since her English is limited. He told her she has a good personality and that is a gift.

"Coming to Suzhou did not feel like arriving in a strange city," Mingdi said. "It felt like coming to another home."



汤妈和约翰的小家，早已不只是他们两个人的家。那些从大山里走出来的孩子，在苏州永远有一个可以回去的地方——门开着，灯亮着，有人在等。这个跨国家园里，没有血缘，却有牵挂；没有豪言，却有温热。美好，又真实。

The home of John and Tang Chongyan is no longer just their own. For children who once walked for hours along winding mountain roads, Suzhou has become a place they can always return to — where the door is open, the light is on, and someone is waiting.

No blood ties, but deep bonds. No grand promises, but quiet warmth.

It is, in every sense, a home.



记者：李涵萌

本文来自公众微信号：中国日报双语新闻

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