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【双语】不生小孩会被同事鄙视?

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发表于 2019-6-5 01:38:44 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Hi, Carolyn: I was making small talk at work when awoman asked if I had children. I said no. Sheexpressed pity that I hadn't experienced life'sgreatest joy and said she couldn't understand whywomen these days prioritize careers over family. Sheadded that parenthood is a prerequisite for being agood manager since women without children lack thematurity necessary to lead teams.

卡罗琳,你好!当时,我们一群同事正在闲聊,一位女士问了我一个问题,"你有孩子吗?"我回答她,没有。她表示,太遗憾了,那将是你一生中最大的快乐。她说她无法理解为什么现代女性将工作看得比家庭更重。她补充道,为人父母是成为一名优秀管理者的先决条件,因为没生小孩的女性往往缺乏领导团队所需的成熟思想。

Carolyn, it wasn't my choice not to have kids, and this is a painful subject for me.

卡罗琳,不生孩子并非我之所愿,对我而言,这一话题非常痛苦。



In my 20s, I would have brushed this off and changed the subject, but now I am in my 40sstruggling to save for retirement on a salary that falls far below that of my married-with-children peers in the same profession. I have been passed over even though I have always hadoutstanding performance evaluations. I am always expected to work overtime and take a hitfor the team because I don't have kids, yet I am also resented and belittled for it.

倘若我20多岁,我肯定对这个话题不理不睬,甚至会换个话题,但现在我40多岁了,正在为退休而努力攒钱。现实是:我的薪资远低于同一行业中的拖家带口人士。尽管我的业绩表现总是很突出,但升职时却是一次次的被排除在外。因为我没有小孩,大家都期望我加班、为团队背锅,但也正因为我没有小孩,大家都鄙视我、贬低我。

So, this time I calmly asked her, "Do you think having a genetic disease makes a personimmature? Do you think watching an 8-year-old relative die of said genetic disease makes aperson immature? There are a lot of reasons people don't have kids, and a lot of paths tomaturity."

所以,这一次,我十分平静地问她,"你认为患遗传病会让人不成熟吗?你认为亲眼看到一个8岁的亲戚因为这一遗传病离世会让人不成熟吗?人们不生小孩的原因有很多,通往成熟的道路也有很多。"

That did not go over well. Now my presence clears the room. What should I have said? ShouldI just keep ignoring such comments and changing the subject?

但效果并不是很好。现在只要我一出现,大家就会作鸟散状。我该说什么?我是不是应该继续对这样的评语听而不闻、继续换话题?

- Childless in the Workplace

-工作场所无子女的情况

Childless in the Workplace: You told her what she deserved to hear in response to her cruel,grossly unfounded prejudice. I'm glad you said what you did.

工作场所无子女的情况:你只不过是在回应她残酷而又毫无根据的偏见罢了,这是她应受的。我很高兴你讲出了这些话。

It bears saying anyway: You said what you deemed appropriate at the time, in response to anattack on your core values and competence. She's fortunate to have left this encounter. (Not that I condone that, of course.) So while it's normal to replay and second-guess whatyou said, especially given the reception you're getting at work, I hope you'll embrace youranswer as an act of self-care.

无论如何,你这么说都是对的:当时当境,你用你认为合适的言辞来回应别人对你核心价值观和能力的攻击。她没有继续接茬是对的。(当然,这并不表示我宽恕了她。)所以,虽然回想当时的言辞十分正常,尤其是在工作场合中说出此番言论,但我还是希望你接受当时所作的言论,这是自爱的一种表现。



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