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lesson 45 改写 A successful mother 帮忙找错!

发布者: 茹诗 | 发布时间: 2009-3-24 23:43| 查看数: 1359| 评论数: 7|

20鲜花
本帖最后由 tezukazyunko 于 2009-3-26 13:21 编辑

lesson 45 改写A successful mother



The whole village soon learnt that there were five children had been grown up in a special family . The local farmer, Mrs.Li’s, five children had grown up while

the mother taking care of them carefully . Mrs.Li was sure that her children
would become the ridgepole of our country! , But at first time, her eldest daughter took part in the college entrance examination ,and

she failed to pass the exam
. one year passed , Mrs. Li found a letter outside his house when she came back from the field , it was wrapped up in a red paper and it contained a admission notice from a famous university,together with a note said :“you are a good mother, you are 20 percent successful .”Two years later , in a special time , her three daughters too part in the college entrance examination together. I n three months, the mother received three admission notices, and she was sent a another note which said :“You are a great mother , you are 80 percent successful now.” In time , all her children came into their university in this way. The last She got the admission notice with the big letter there was a note said “wonderful lady , you are 100 percent successful woman now”

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The local farmer, Mrs.Li’s, five children had grown up because ofthe mother's careful attendance.

最新评论

tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-3-24 23:43:44
The local farmer, Mrs.Li’s, five children had grown up because ofthe mother's careful attendance.
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-3-25 11:15:23
But at first time, her eldest daughter took part in the college entrance examination ,and

she (omit)failed to pass the exam.
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-3-25 11:17:01
her three daughters took part in the college entrance examination together.
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-3-25 11:17:56
The last She got the admission notice with a big letter there was a note said “wonderful lady , you are 100 percent successful woman now”
tezukazyunko 发表于 2009-3-25 11:21:37
Not long after that , all her children came into their university in this way.
茹诗 发表于 2009-3-25 11:22:52
5# tezukazyunko 谢谢。我觉得这两篇写的一点也不好,自己读来没有想再看的感觉。 谢谢您耐心的指正, 非常感谢。
茹诗 发表于 2009-3-25 11:37:46
tezukazyunko 你好, 我仔细看过了你的评语, 很耐心,很好的指点。我去改正过来。 谢谢你。
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