从懵懂的青春年少，到二十几岁为人生拼搏的大好年华，你或多或少要付出一些“惨痛”的代价。不管你现在仍旧与父母一起生活，又或是独自闯荡世界， 世纪君今天要跟大家分享美国Quora（类似于国内的知乎）上一些美国小伙伴在20多岁时悟到的道理：“What are the most difficult things people have to learn in their 20s”。一起来看看吧！

1. 准备好三观尽毁吧！

Your world view may be seriously flawed.



在象牙塔里闭关修炼的日子终于结束了！踏出校门，才发现周围的事情与你想象中的背道而驰？表再茫然了！下面你唯一可以做的就是摸索前进。

It's natural to feel like you've got a solid life philosophy figured out by the time you graduate college, but you'll likely redefine how you see relationships, politics, your career, and anything else you can think of. As Rachel Laine puts it, "[Y]ou discover everything that you thought you had all figured out was tragically wrong, laughably confused, or utterly delusional."

2. 能蒙混过关的日子渐行渐远了。

It's harder to get away with lies and excuses.



上学的时候，撒撒小谎骗过了老师还有家长。上班以后，你还打算继续这样的节奏吗？快些调整好你的状态吧！越快面对现实，就能越快找到自己的方向。

Maybe you made a habit of getting away with things by making up stories for your parents or professors. But lies and deceit won't fly in your professional or personal life anymore.

"The truth has a way of rearing its ugly head, so the sooner you can come to integrity with yourself and the world at large, the sooner you'll be able to get working towards what you really want, who you really want to be," says Arjuna Perkins.

3. 通宵玩到嗨或许只能是过去时了。

You can't party like you used to.



一夜狂欢不但影响第二天的工作，身体也在发出警告的信号。保持适当的锻炼和健康的饮食，日后你会感谢现在的自己哒~

Back in college you may have been able to spend a night binge drinking until two in the morning and make it to class by 11 a.m. That sort of lifestyle is incompatible with most careers. And you'll come to find that as you progress through your 20s, your body has a harder time dealing with excess, Perkins says.

4. 自以为是会让人讨厌。

People will resent you if you try to always be right.



学会尊重他人，承认自己的不足，这是真正成长的表现。人生不是比赛，“我总是正确的”态度会招人厌恶。

Let go of having to be right about things — this isn't a contest," Perkins says. "It's not a game. You don't win at life. So say, 'Thanks for your perspective. I'll think about that,' or, 'I was wrong. I'm sorry.'"

5. 生活从来都不简单。

Life is hard, and it never gets much easier.



随着责任越来越重，你会慢慢发现仅是按部就班的生活，你都必须为之付出很多，更不要说成功所要付出的辛劳了。即使一次又一次的失败，即使你感慨人生中的不公，你也只能硬着头皮不断向前。

As your responsibilities begin to pile up in your 20s, you'll realize that just getting by — let alone becoming very successful — requires a lot of work. And there will always be failures and setbacks.

"You will fail in life, over and over and over. It won't feel fair. Maybe for decades. You've got to keep moving forward. Keep going," Perkins says.

6. 维持一段爱情是很难的。

Meaningful relationships are difficult to maintain.



不管是恋爱还是婚姻，要想有好的结果，就需要努力和牺牲。但是，这样得来的爱情胜过生活中的无数欢乐。

If and when you decide to consider marriage or at least a serious romantic relationship, you're going to realize that it requires plenty of sacrifices and work. You'll realize the same goes for your closest friends, who will also be changing as you grow older. But these relationships are more important to your happiness and fulfillment than anything else in your life, says Rich Tatum.

7. 在工作中，你并不是不可替代的。

You're replaceable at work.



工作从来都是强者的天下，要想在工作中为自己留得一席之位，除了提高自己的竞争力，没有更好的办法。

Many companies like to portray themselves as families, but at the end of the day that's just semantics. If your company can no longer afford you or thinks it can invest more wisely in someone else, you'll be cut from that family pretty easily.

8. 你不必永远都追求你所热爱的。

You don't have forever to find and pursue your passion.



如果你在选择职业时放弃了自己兴趣，而仅仅是为了一份丰厚的报酬，总有一天你会发现想换工作太难了，想要投入到真正喜欢的工作中去，也不再是一件容易的事儿。

If you pursue a career solely for a big check and set aside the things you love to pursue later, you'll find it becomes significantly harder to change careers or dedicate yourself to a passion project the older you get.

9. 任何事都不是理所应当的。

You're not entitled to anything.



保持谦卑的态度和一颗感恩的心很重要。有的时候并不是你努力了，就一定能有所回报。好好珍惜你所拥有的吧！

It's necessary to be humble, Tatum says, especially about advantages you may have received through sheer luck. And never think that just because you put in work for things like degrees from elite universities that they guarantee you privileges in life.

10. 不要随便跟人争吵。

Picking fights and holding grudges will make you miserable.

动怒、争吵，都不是解决问题的办法。接受他人的道歉，自己犯了错也能主动道歉，长此以往，你的生活中会充满正能量。

Accept apologies and apologize when you make a mistake. Don't fill your life with negativity. You will need to always be developing your communication and negotiation skills.

11. 要想成功就要不断学习。

You must keep learning if you want to be successful.



学习并不只停留在课堂里。终生的学习会让你在职场受益匪浅，它能帮助你锻炼各种职场必备的能力。

Your education is far from over after you leave a classroom for the last time. Dedicate yourself to learning things that will help you in your career, including "the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade," Tatum says.

12. 冲动是魔鬼。

Decisions that take a few seconds to make can have long-term ramifications.



千万不要因为一时冲动就做了决定。通常这种时候做出的决定只会剥夺你今后更多的欢乐。

Never make a decision on an emotional impulse. "[S]tupid decisions made in the moment can rob you of years of joy and happiness," Tatum writes.

13. 挣钱不易。

Money is hard to earn.



只有当你开始独立生活以后，你才会发现商场里的那些东东真心好贵！

As you start living on your own, however, you'll soon realize that frivolous things you would normally not give a second thought about purchasing are not worth the hours of work equivalent to the price tag.

14. 朋友圈会渐渐变小。

Your friend circle will likely get smaller.



二十几岁，你会发现在一起玩闹的小伙伴越来越少了。而你真正用心维系的小伙伴都是对你最重要的人。

As you go through your 20s, you'll naturally start to drift away from some of your friends. Gone are the days of partying with a room full of your buddies, Bhatt says. You will realize, though, that the friends you put the effort into staying in touch with are the ones who mean the most to you.

15. 过去是父母照顾你，现在轮到你照顾他们了。

You'll probably have a bigger role to play in your family.



做小孩纸的时光一去不复返了。你长大了，可是父母却老了。不论是从感情上还是经济上，都需要你来关心他们，撑起一个家。

Your parents may always try to nurture you as if you were a child, but they will need your emotional — and perhaps even financial — help as they get older and you become your own person.

16. 付出不一定会有回报。

Hard work isn't always recognized.



你的付出，老板不一定总能看得到。不要让这一点成为你偷懒的借口，也不要因为别人抢了你功劳就罢工抗议。

You should accept that your boss may not always notice your contributions, Bhatt says. Do not let that be an excuse to become lazy, and don't protest if someone else gets credit for your work.

17. 学会处理债务。

Debt will haunt you.



信用卡是方便，但是不要忘记借钱是要还的。这个年龄该是学着慢慢理财了。

At some point in your 20s you're probably going to get a credit card — use it wisely. "Realize that you will end up paying double, maybe more, for that round of drinks at the bar because you put it on credit instead of saving the cash," says Thea Pilarczyk.

18. 天外有天，人外有人。

There is always someone "better" than you.



总会有人比你聪明，比你好看，比你会交际。不管怎样，你都别羡慕嫉妒恨啦！要学会接受自己的缺点，看到自己的长处。

"There are always going to be people who are smarter, better looking, more sociable, and just all around 'better' than you... To be happy, then, you have to learn to accept yourself and your shortcomings," says Brandon Chu.

19. 你不可能把一切都搞定。

You'll never have it "all sorted out."



都说三十而立，但千万别指望二十岁搞不定的事，三十岁就能摆平。谁都不是完美的，不可能把所有事都安排得妥妥的。随着年纪的增长，你会更加睿智，但是不要期望自己能搞定所有事。

You'll realize how silly that is as your 30th birthday draws closer. The truth is, you'll become wiser with age, but you'll always question your decisions.

20. 谁也不能一夜就长大。

Becoming an adult is not some magical transformation.



虽然你已经是个大人了，但有时候你也难掩童真，也会害怕，也会犯错。如果你能看清这一点，你就会用更加包容的心态来看待周围的人。

Being an adult is more a matter of heightened expectations than any tangible change, says Hugh Powell. As he bluntly puts it: "[N]o matter how good you get at playing the adult, you won't forget that underneath it all, at any age, you are always a scared little child, with no real idea of what you are doing."