人之初：At the begining of life.

性本善：Sex is good.

性相近：Basically, all the natures are same.

习相远：But it depends on how the way you do it.

苟不教：If you do not practise all the time.

性乃迁：Sex will leave you.

教之道：The way of learning it

贵以专：is very important to make love with only one person.

昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng

择邻处：chose her neighbour to avoid bad influence.

子不学：If you don't study hard,

断机杼：Your Dick will become useless.

窦燕山 Dou, the Famous

有义方 owned a very effective exciting medicine

教五子 All his five son took it

名俱扬 and their ***ual ability were well-kown.

养不教 If your children don't know how to do it,

父之过 It is all your fault.

教不严 If they had lots of problems with it,

师之惰 their teacher must be too lazy to tell them details on ***.

子不学 You may refuse to study this

非所宜 but that is a real mistake

幼不学 If you don't learn it in childhood,

老何为 you will lose your ability when aged

玉不琢 If you don't exercise your dick,

不成器 It won't become hard and strong.

人不学 If you don't learn anything,

不知义 You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

如此英文三字经令人叹为观止...

which dumbass did this translation?