发布者: tlsd001 | 发布时间: 2011-11-15 18:33| 查看数: 815| 评论数: 1|



Forget flowers and chocolates. Some urban guys are now learning that the way to a woman’s heart is not through giving presents or displays of natural charm. Instead, it’s a skill – with rules to be learnt, theory to be studied and practice to be done.


We’re talking about professional pick-up artists (PUAs), or at least those men who follow the rules set down by these so-called experts.


“There is a severe lack of love education in China,” said Wu Jiamin, or Tango, 26, a Chinese-American PUA in Beijing.


As a result, “boot camps” where shy, awkward wallflowers can learn to become love machines have mushroomed in major cities. PUA boot camps originated in the US, and usually attract rich, personable and well-educated urban professionals.


The price of a three-day course, which usually includes workshops and real-life hook-up training, ranges from 2,500 to 4,500 yuan.


For men aged between 20 and 45, finding a woman is becoming an urgent mission. According to the National Population and Family Planning Commission, there will be 30 million more men in that age category than women in China in 2020.


The desperation to mix with the opposite sex is clear from the number of dating shows on television this year. Often, though, men play the passive supporting roles in these programs.


“Men seldom admit that they have dating problems. Their self-confidence is *fragile like an egg,” said Wu.


However, Le Jia, 35, a relationship consultant on You Are the One (《非诚勿扰》), Jiangsu TV’s popular dating show, says that dating programs provide chances for young men. However, many don’t know how to present themselves properly. This is where the PUA boot camps come in, teaching men skills as diverse as grooming and speaking.


In a PUA class, men learn that the standard reply to the woman’s “Why do you like me?” is: “Well, there are so many beautiful women here, but you are the only one with a friendly vibe. I really want to talk to you.”


“First, you beat her pride a little bit by saying there are many beauties. Then you praise her in a comfortable way,” said Tango, referring to a classic technique called a “neg”.


But what happens once a guy gets the girl’s number?


PUAs say that their techniques, though good, aren’t a guarantee of long-term success in a relationship. Wu claims that men often sour possible relationships by paying for everything and basically making themselves “slaves”.


“Do you leave any space for her to show her love?” said Wu.


For Ruan Qi, 41, a Beijing-based dating adviser, dating should be enjoyable and not damaged with material worries and concerns. It attracts him to study the trade.


“I believe men should enjoy the whole process of dating and loving. Money should not be the *overriding factor,” said Ruan.



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