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【公开课】别怕失败!女孩儿要勇敢,而非完美

发布者: 千缘 | 发布时间: 2020-1-24 01:02| 查看数: 139| 评论数: 0|帖子模式

Reshma Saujani是第一位竞选进入美国国会的印度裔女性,她创办了一个名为“Girls Who Code”(中文译名:程序媛)的非营利组织,以期在教会女孩儿编程的同时,鼓励女孩儿去接受风险、迎接挑战。

作为一名女性,Reshma在33岁之前也和大多数女性一样,做事谨慎、认真,会因担心失败或是造成未知的、不好的影响而有所顾虑、不敢行动,会去回避那些高风险的挑战,常常期待能将事情做到完美、做到满分。但在33岁那年,Reshma人生第一次尝试做了件十分勇敢但并不完美的事。自此,她的人生轨迹发生了改变。



Reshma结合自己的经历,在TED大会上做了一段演讲。在这段演讲中,Reshma告诉大家:女孩儿要勇于接受挑战,不畏惧失败,而非一味追求完美。下面就让我们一起来看看这篇演讲吧!



Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection

So a few years ago, I did something really brave, or some would say really stupid. I ran for Congress.

几年前,我做了件非常勇敢的事,或许有些人会说是蠢事。我去参选了国会议员。

For years, I had existed safely behind the scenes in politics as a fundraiser, as an organizer, but in my heart, I always wanted to run. The sitting congresswoman had been in my district since 1992. She had never lost a race, and no one had really even run against her in a Democratic primary. But in my mind, this was my way to make a difference, to disrupt the status quo. The polls, however, told a very different story. My pollsters told me that I was crazy to run, that there was no way that I could win.

多年来,我一直安稳地躲在政治活动的幕后,当募款人、活动发起人,但我打心里一直是想参选的。我所在选区的现任女议员自1992年就任后就从未败选过。在民主党的初选中根本没人能望其项背。但我想,这正是我想做的,使其有所改变,去打破现状。可是民意调查结果却完全是另一回事。我的民调分析师说我是疯了才会参选,我根本不可能会赢。

But I ran anyway, and in 2012, I became an upstart in a New York City congressional race. I swore I was going to win. I had the endorsement from the New York Daily News, the Wall Street Journal snapped pictures of me on election day, and CNBC called it one of the hottest races in the country. I raised money from everyone I knew, including Indian aunties that were just so happy an Indian girl was running. But on election day, the polls were right, and I only got 19 percent of the vote, and the same papers that said I was a rising political star now said I wasted 1.3 million dollars on 6,321 votes. Don't do the math. It was humiliating.

但我还是参选了,2012年,我成了纽约市议员选战中的一颗新星。我发誓我一定要赢。我得到了《纽约每日新闻》的支持,《华尔街日报》刊登了我在选举日当天的照片,连CNBC(美国消费者新闻与商业频道)都说这是全国范围内最激烈的一场选战。我从我认识的每一个人那里募集资金,包括我的印度阿姨们。她们看见一个印度女孩出来参选特别开心。但到了选举日那天,民调是对的,我只得到了19%的选票,而那些先前称我为冉冉升起的政坛新星的报纸,现在却说我白白浪费了130万美元在6321张选票上。不要算数字。太丢脸了。

Now, before you get the wrong idea, this is not a talk about the importance of failure. Nor is it about leaning in. I tell you the story of how I ran for Congress because I was 33 years old and it was the first time in my entire life that I had done something that was truly brave, where I didn't worry about being perfect.

好了,为了避免误会,我要先说今天的演讲不是要讲述失败的重要性。也跟向前一步无关。我之所以讲述自己参选议员的故事,是因为当时我已经33岁了,而这却是我人生中第一次做了件真正称得上勇敢的事,同时没有担心怎样才能做得完美。

And I'm not alone: so many women I talk to tell me that they gravitate towards careers and professions that they know they're going to be great in, that they know they're going to be perfect in, and it's no wonder why. Most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. We're taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A's. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off headfirst. And by the time they're adults, whether they're negotiating a raise or even asking someone out on a date, they're habituated to take risk after risk. They're rewarded for it. It's often said in Silicon Valley, no one even takes you seriously unless you've had two failed start-ups. In other words, we're raising our girls to be perfect, and we're raising our boys to be brave.

而且不止我是这样的:我访谈过的很多女性都告诉我,她们受到自己职业和专业领域的吸引,是因为她们知道自己将会做得很好,她们知道自己会做得尽善尽美才去做,这一点也不奇怪。大多数女孩从小就被教导要规避风险和失败。我们被教育要笑得端庄,不要冒险,门门课程都拿A。而另一方面,男孩们却被教育成可以肆意玩耍,秋千也能荡高些,爬上单杠顶端然后头朝下地往下蹦也没关系。当他们长大成人,不管他们是在谈判加薪还是约人出去,他们都习惯于一再地去冒险。他们也为此得到了回报、奖赏。在硅谷有这么一句话:“没人把你当回事,除非你已经创业失败过两次。”换句话说,我们教育女孩要追求完美,但却培养男孩勇敢无畏。

Some people worry about our federal deficit, but I, I worry about our bravery deficit. Our economy, our society, we're just losing out because we're not raising our girls to be brave. The bravery deficit is why women are underrepresented in STEM, in C-suites, in boardrooms, in Congress, and pretty much everywhere you look.

有些人为我们的联邦赤字担忧,但我则担心我们的“勇气赤字”(即勇气的匮乏)。我们的经济、社会都正在走下坡路,因为我们没有把女孩培养成勇敢的人。勇气赤字正是为什么在STEM教育(即科学、技术、工程和数学教育)中,在企业高管层、董事会乃至国会,在你所看到的任何地方,女性代表人数都不足的原因。

In the 1980s, psychologist Carol Dweck looked at how bright fifth graders handled an assignment that was too difficult for them. She found that bright girls were quick to give up. The higher the IQ, the more likely they were to give up. Bright boys, on the other hand, found the difficult material to be a challenge. They found it energizing. They were more likely to redouble their efforts.

在1980年代,心理学家Carol Dweck 观察了学业优异的五年级学生们是如何应对过于困难的作业的。她发现聪明的女孩们很快就放弃了。她们的智商越高,就越可能会放弃。而聪明的男孩则相反,他们将困难的材料视为一个挑战。他们的精神头儿都上来了。因此更可能会加倍努力。

What's going on? Well, at the fifth grade level, girls routinely outperform boys in every subject, including math and science, so it's not a question of ability. The difference is in how boys and girls approach a challenge. And it doesn't just end in fifth grade. An HP report found that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women, women will apply only if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications. 100 percent. This study is usually invoked as evidence that, well, women need a little more confidence. But I think it's evidence that women have been socialized to aspire to perfection, and they're overly cautious.

发生了什么?其实在五年级的阶段,女孩每一科的表现通常都胜过男孩,包括数学和科学,所以这不是能力的问题。差别在于男孩和女孩如何应对挑战。而且这不仅止于五年级的孩子。惠普公司的一份报告显示,男性找工作时,只要能达到60%的招聘要求就会递出申请。而女性只有在能100%达到招聘要求时才会这么做。百分之百。这份研究通常被用来证明女性需要更多一点点的自信。但我认为它其实证明了,女性一直被社会教化成要追求完美,而且她们谨慎得过了头。

And even when we're ambitious, even when we're leaning in, that socialization of perfection has caused us to take less risks in our careers. And so those 600,000 jobs that are open right now in computing and tech, women are being left behind, and it means our economy is being left behind on all the innovation and problems women would solve if they were socialized to be brave instead of socialized to be perfect.

即使当我们雄心勃勃,即使我们要向前一步,那种社会化的追求完美的个性已经使我们在职业发展的道路上选择了冒更少的风险。所以虽然现在在计算机和科技领域有60万个岗位正虚位以待,但女性却被抛在了后面,而这也意味着我们的经济被抛在了后面,因为缺乏所有那些女性的创新以及她们可能可以解决的问题,除非社会能教导女性要勇敢,而不是完美。

So in 2012, I started a company to teach girls to code, and what I found is that by teaching them to code I had socialized them to be brave. Coding, it's an endless process of trial and error, of trying to get the right command in the right place, with sometimes just a semicolon making the difference between success and failure. Code breaks and then it falls apart, and it often takes many, many tries until that magical moment when what you're trying to build comes to life. It requires perseverance. It requires imperfection.

因此在2012年,我创办了一家公司来教女孩如何编程,我发现,通过教她们如何编程,我其实是在培养她们变得勇敢。编程,是一个不断“试错”的无止境过程,要设法在合适的地方,输入正确的指令,有时只是差一个分号,就能决定成败。编码错了就全都毁了,时常要尝试很多很多次……直到那个神奇的时刻,你试着搭建的程序总算成了。它需要持之以恒的努力。需要不完美。

We immediately see in our program our girls' fear of not getting it right, of not being perfect. Every Girls Who Code teacher tells me the same story. During the first week, when the girls are learning how to code, a student will call her over and she'll say, "I don't know what code to write." The teacher will look at her screen, and she'll see a blank text editor. If she didn't know any better, she'd think that her student spent the past 20 minutes just staring at the screen. But if she presses undo a few times, she'll see that her student wrote code and then deleted it. She tried, she came close, but she didn't get it exactly right. Instead of showing the progress that she made, she'd rather show nothing at all. Perfection or bust. It turns out that our girls are really good at coding, but it's not enough just to teach them to code.

我们马上就在项目里发现,女孩们害怕出错,害怕不完美。每一位“程序媛”项目的老师都告诉过我一样的故事。第一周,女孩们还在学如何编程时,就会有一个学生叫她过去跟她说:“我不知道要写什么程序码。”老师看她的屏幕,会看到一个完全空白的界面。如果她不知道实情的话,她也许会认为她的学生在过去的20分钟里只是盯着屏幕发呆。但如果她点击几下撤销键,她就会看到她的学生其实写了代码然后又删除了。她尝试了,她接近目标了,但是她没有做到完全正确。比起呈现她编写的过程,她宁可什么都不呈现。要么完美,要么失败。结果证明,女孩们其实非常擅于编程,但只教她们如何编程还不够。

My friend Lev Brie, who is a professor at the University of Columbia and teaches intro to Java tells me about his office hours with computer science students. When the guys are struggling with an assignment, they'll come in and they'll say, "Professor, there's something wrong with my code." The girls will come in and say, "Professor, there's something wrong with me."

我的朋友Lev Brie是哥伦比亚大学的教授,他教授Java的入门课。他向我讲述了在他的办公室开放时间里,那些电脑科学学生的故事。当男生们在作业上遇到困难时,他们会走进办公室说:“教授,我编的程序出了点问题。”女生们走进来之后则会说:“教授,我有一些问题。”

We have to begin to undo the socialization of perfection, but we've got to combine it with building a sisterhood that lets girls know that they are not alone. Because trying harder is not going to fix a broken system. I can't tell you how many women tell me, "I'm afraid to raise my hand, I'm afraid to ask a question, because I don't want to be the only one who doesn't understand, the only one who is struggling. When we teach girls to be brave and we have a supportive network cheering them on, they will build incredible things, and I see this every day. Take, for instance, two of our high school students who built a game called Tampon Run—yes, Tampon Run—to fight against the menstruation taboo and sexism in gaming. Or the Syrian refugee who dared show her love for her new country by building an app to help Americans get to the polls. Or a 16-year-old girl who built an algorithm to help detect whether a cancer is benign or malignant in the off chance that she can save her daddy's life because he has cancer. These are just three examples of thousands, thousands of girls who have been socialized to be imperfect, who have learned to keep trying, who have learned perseverance. And whether they become coders or the next Hillary Clinton or Beyoncé, they will not defer their dreams.

我们要开始修正这种社会化的完美主义,而且我们必须要将这件事同建立女性情谊结合起来,这样才能让女孩们知道她们并不孤单。因为再努力的尝试也无法修补一个损坏的系统。我没法告诉你有多少女性跟我说过:"我害怕举手发言,我害怕问问题,因为我不想当那唯一一个听不懂的人,那个唯一还在困惑的人。”当我们在教女孩要勇敢时,我们还组建了一个支持网络来鼓舞她们,她们会创造出很棒的东西,这是我每天亲眼目睹的。举个例子,我们那儿有两个高中学生制作了一个名叫“卫生棉逃亡”的游戏——对,卫生棉逃亡——以此在游戏中反抗生理期禁忌和性别歧视。或是“叙利亚难民”, 设计的女孩通过开发一款帮助美国人了解投票的app,勇敢地表达了她对新国家的爱。还有一个16岁的女孩,她开发了一套算法来帮助检测癌症是良性还是恶性,希望能借此拯救她患癌父亲的生命。这仅仅是数千个例子中的三个,有数千个女孩被培养为能够接受不完美,她们学会了如何不断尝试,学会了如何持之以恒。无论她们未来会成为程序员还是下一个希拉里·克林顿或碧昂斯,她们都不会再拖延自己的梦想了。

And those dreams have never been more important for our country. For the American economy, for any economy to grow, to truly innovate, we cannot leave behind half our population. We have to socialize our girls to be comfortable with imperfection, and we've got to do it now. We cannot wait for them to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 33 years old. We have to teach them to be brave in schools and early in their careers, when it has the most potential to impact their lives and the lives of others, and we have to show them that they will be loved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous. And so I need each of you to tell every young woman you know—your sister, your niece, your employee, your colleague—to be comfortable with imperfection, because when we teach girls to be imperfect, and we help them leverage it, we will build a movement of young women who are brave and who will build a better world for themselves and for each and every one of us.

而这些梦想从未对我们国家如此重要。对美国的经济,对任何想要增长、想真正创新的经济,我们都不能丢下(女性所占的)半数人口。我们得教会女孩们去接纳自己的缺陷,而且我们现在就要开始着手去做。我们不能等到她们像我一样,33岁才开始学着勇敢。我们必须在学校里就教她们勇敢,在她们初入职场时就教她们勇敢,因为这些是最能够影响到她们的人生以及其他人人生的时期。我们要让她们知道自己会被爱、被接受,并不是因为她们完美无缺,而是因为勇敢。所以我需要你们每个人去告诉你认识的每一位年轻女性——你的姐妹、侄女、雇员、同事——接受不完美,因为只有当我们教会了女孩接受不完美,并且帮助她们运用勇气的时候,我们才能形成一股年轻的、勇敢的女性的力量,而她们也将为自己、为我们中的每个人建造一个更好的世界。


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