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[TED] 【公开课】女孩,不要总是对自己的外貌不自信

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发表于 4 天前 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式


This is my niece, Stella.这是我侄女斯特拉。

She's just turned one and started to walk.她刚满一岁就开始学走路了。

And she's walking in that really cool way that one-year-olds do,她正在用一岁的小孩通常使用的非常酷的方式走路,

a kind of teetering,就那样摇摇晃晃、

my-body's-moving- too-fast-for-my-legs kind of way.身体比腿移动得还快。

It is absolutely gorgeous.这真的很有意思。

And one of her favorite things to do at the moment is to stare at herself in the mirror.她最喜欢做的事情之一就是盯着镜子里的自己。

She absolutely loves her reflection.她非常喜欢自己在镜子里的样子。

She giggles and squeals,她边笑边叫,

and gives herself these big, wet kisses.然后给了镜子中的自己一些大大的、暖暖的吻。

It is beautiful.很漂亮。

Apparently, all of her friends do this and my mom tells me that I used to do this,很显然,她所有的朋友都这样做,然后我妈说我小时候也是这样的,

and it got me thinking: When did I stop doing this?这让我想到一个问题:我是什么时候不再这么做的?

When is it suddenly not okay to love the way that we look?从什么时候开始,突然间我们不再喜欢自己的长相了?

Because apparently we don't.因为很显然我们不再那样做了。

Ten thousand people every month google,每个月都有一万人在谷歌上搜索

"Am I ugly?"“我丑吗?”

This is Faye.这是法耶,

Faye is 13 and she lives in Denver.她13岁,住在丹佛。

And like any teenager,就像其他青少年一样,

she just wants to be liked and to fit in.她也想被别人喜欢并与人和睦相处。

It's Sunday night.那天是星期天晚上。

She's getting ready for the week ahead at school.她正在为下周的学校生活做准备。

And she's slightly dreading it,她有点害怕,

and she's a bit confused because despite her mom telling her all the time that she's beautiful,并且有一点困惑,因为尽管她妈妈一直告诉她说她很漂亮,

every day at school,但是每天在学校,

someone tells her that she's ugly.都会有人说她长得难看。

Because of the difference between what her mom tells her and what her friends at school,因为她妈妈告诉她的

or her peers at school are telling her,和她在学校的朋友或同龄人告诉她的是不同的,

she doesn't know who to believe.所以她不知道该相信谁。

So, she takes a video of herself.因此,她为自己拍摄了一个视频

She posts it to YouTube and she asks people to please leave a comment: "Am I pretty or am I ugly?"并放到了YouTube上,然后她让大家来评论:“我长得漂亮还是难看?”

Well, so far,截止目前,

Faye has received over 13,000 comments.法耶共收到了超过13000个评论。

Some of them are so nasty,他们中的一些人太可恶了,

they don't bear thinking about.令人不愿多想。

This is an average,这是一个普通的,

healthy-looking teenage girl receiving this feedback at one of the most emotionally vulnerable times in her life.看起来很健康的少女在她生命中情感最脆弱的时光收到的回复。

Thousands of people are posting videos like this,有成千上万的人们上传这样的视频,

mostly teenage girls,他们中大部分都是十几岁的女孩,

reaching out in this way.他们用这种方式来接触外界。

But what's leading them to do this?然而是什么导致他们这样做的呢?

Well, today's teenagers are rarely alone.如今的青少年很少独处。

They're under pressure to be online and available at all times, talking, messaging, liking, commenting, sharing,他们被迫上网并随时保持在线,聊天、发信息、点赞、评论、分享、

posting -- it never ends.发帖—— 无休无止。

Never before have we been so connected, so continuously, so instantaneously, so young.我们之前从来没有如此被紧密地联系,而且是如此地无休无止、如此快速,如此年轻。

And as one mom told me,正如一位妈妈跟我说的,

it's like there's a party in their bedroom every night.似乎每天晚上他们的卧室里都有聚会。

There's simply no privacy.简直毫无隐私。

And the social pressures that go along with that are relentless.而由此伴随而来的社会压力也是残酷的。

This always-on environment is training our kids to value themselves based on the number of likes they get and the types of comments that they receive.这种永远在线的环境将我们的孩子训练成要靠他们获得的点赞数和收到的评论来确定自己的价值。

There's no separation between online and offline life.线上和线下生活毫无界限可言,

What's real or what isn't is really hard to tell the difference between.很难区分什么是真实的什么不是真实的,

And it's also really hard to tell the difference between what's authentic and what's digitally manipulated.也很难区分现实和虚拟世界,

What's a highlight in someone's life versus what's normal in the context of everyday.也分不清日常生活和精彩时光。

And where are they looking to for inspiration?那他们又从哪里去获得灵感呢?

Well, you can see the kinds of images that are covering the newsfeeds of girls today.你可以看看那些今天出现在各种新闻中女孩的形象。

Size zero models still dominate our catwalks.“零号尺寸”模特仍然统治着T形台。

Airbrushing is now routine.修图变成我们的日常工作。

And trends like #thinspiration, #thighgap,还有这些话题趋势像#励瘦、#大腿间距、

#bikinibridge and #proana.#比基尼桥和#安娜运动。

For those who don't know,要跟那些不明白这些的人解释一下,

#proana means pro-anorexia.#安娜运动的意思是支持厌食。

These trends are teamed with the stereotyping and flagrant objectification of women in today's popular culture.这些话题趋势与今天流行的文化中对女性的刻板印象和公然物化结合在一起。

It is not hard to see what girls are benchmarking themselves against.从中不难看出女孩子们是怎样定位自己的。

But boys are not immune to this either.但是男孩子们对此也不能幸免。

Aspiring to the chiseled jaw lines and ripped six packs of superhero-like sports stars and playboy music artists.他们渴望拥有轮廓分明的下巴线条和像英雄般的体育明星以及花花公子音乐艺术家所拥有的六块腹肌。

But, what's the problem with all of this?但是, 所有的这些有什么问题呢?

Well, surely we want our kids to grow up as healthy,我们当然希望我们的孩子成长为一个健康,

well balanced individuals.均衡的个体。

But in an image-obsessed culture,但是在这样一个外貌至上的文化中,

we are training our kids to spend more time and mental effort on their appearance at the expense of all of the other aspects of their identities.我们正将我们的孩子训练成将更多的时间和精力花在外貌上,而对于其他方面的身份认同少有关注的人。

So, things like their relationships,因此,他们会在人际关系、

the development of their physical abilities,体能发展

and their studies and so on begin to suffer.和学习等方面开始受挫。

Six out of 10 girls are now choosing not to do something because they don't think they look good enough.现在十个女孩中有六个会因为她们觉得自己不够好看而不去做某事。

These are not trivial activities.这些并非琐事。

These are fundamental activities to their development as humans and as contributors to society and to the workforce.作为人类以及社会和职场参与者的发展来说,这些都是基本的。

Thirty-one percent, nearly one in three teenagers,有31%,也就是将近三分之一的青少年

are withdrawing from classroom debate.会从课堂辩论中退出。

They're failing to engage in classroom debate because they don't want to draw attention to the way that they look.他们退出是因为不想让别人注意到他们的长相。

One in five are not showing up to class at all on days when they don't feel good about it.有五分之一的青少年在感觉不是很好的时候甚至都不会在班级里露面。

And when it comes to exams,考试的时候,

if you don't think you look good enough,如果你觉得自己不够好看,

specifically if you don't think you are thin enough,特别是如果你觉得自己不够苗条的话,

you will score a lower grade point average than your peers who are not concerned with this.那么跟那些不关心这些的同学比起来,你可能得到的平均分数要比他们低。

And this is consistent across Finland, the U.S.这一点不管是在芬兰、美国

and China, and is true regardless of how much you actually weigh.还是中国都是一致的,而且不管你真实的体重是多少。

So to be super clear,所以非常清楚,

we're talking about the way you think you look,我们是在讨论你所认为的自己的长相,

not how you actually look.而不是你的真实长相。

Low body confidence is undermining academic achievement.对身形缺乏信心会削弱学业成绩。

But it's also damaging health.而且也会有损健康。

Teenagers with low body confidence do less physical activity,那些对身形缺乏信心的青少年会更少参加体育活动,

eat less fruits and vegetables,吃更少的水果和蔬菜,

partake in more unhealthy weight control practices that can lead to eating disorders.而会更多参加那些不健康的可能导致饮食失调的体重控制训练。

They have lower self-esteem.他们的自尊心也会更低。

They're more easily influenced by people around them and they're at greater risk of depression.他们更容易受到周围人的影响,并且有更高的抑郁风险。

And we think it's for all of these reasons that they take more risks with things like alcohol and drug use; crash dieting; cosmetic surgery;基于以上理由,他们有更高的风险去做那些像酗酒、吸毒、快速减肥、整容、

unprotected earlier sex; and self-harm.以及过早无防护措施的性交和自残这样的事情。

The pursuit of the perfect body is putting pressure on our healthcare systems and costing our governments billions of dollars every year.对完美身材的追求正使医保系统饱受压力并且每年要花费政府数十亿美元。

And we don't grow out of it.而且我们并不会因为长大而放弃追求完美身材。

Women who think they're overweight -- again,那些认为自己超重的妇女——

regardless of whether they are or are not -- have higher rates of absenteeism.不管她们是否真的超重—— 会有更高的缺勤率。

Seventeen percent of women would not show up to a job interview on a day when they weren't feeling confident about the way that they look.17%的女性会因为某天感觉对自己的长相不自信而不去参加那天的面试。

Have a think about what this is doing to our economy.想一下这对我们的经济会有什么影响。

If we could overcome this,如果我们能克服这些,

what that opportunity looks like.将会带来哪些机会。

Unlocking this potential is in the interest of every single one of us.释放这个潜能将有益于我们每一个人。

But how do we do that?但是我们该如何去做呢?

Well, talking, on its own,仅仅靠空谈,

only gets you so far.也就只能到此为止了。

It's not enough by itself.它本身是不够的。

If you actually want to make a difference,如果你真的想有所改变,

you have to do something.你得去做点什么。

And we've learned there are three key ways: The first is we have to educate for body confidence.我们了解到有三个关键的方法:首先我们得培养自己对身形的自信心。

We have to help our teenagers develop strategies to overcome image-related pressures and build their self-esteem.我们得帮助青少年想出策略去克服跟形象有关的压力并且建立他们的自尊心。

Now, the good news is that there are many programs out there available to do this.好消息是现在已经有许多这样的项目。

The bad news is that most of them don't work.坏消息是大多数这样的项目没有效。

I was shocked to learn that many well-meaning programs are inadvertently actually making the situation worse.我很震惊地了解到许多善意的项目却无意中使得情况更糟糕了。

So we need to make damn sure that the programs that our kids are receiving are not only having a positive impact,因此我们要确保我们的孩子们正在接受的项目不仅是对他们有积极影响的,

but having a lasting impact as well.还要有持久的影响。

And the research shows that the best programs address six key areas: The first is the influence of family,研究表明最好的项目跟六个关键方面有关:首先是家人和

friends and relationships.亲朋好友的影响。

The second is media and celebrity culture,其次是媒体和名人文化,

then how to handle teasing and bullying,然后是如何处理调侃和欺凌,

the way we compete and compare with one another based on looks,处理其他基于长相的竞争和比较,

talking about appearance -- some people call this "body talk"以及对相貌的讨论——有些人称之为"身材谈话“

or "fat talk"或”肥胖谈话”,

-- and finally,—— 最后一点,

the foundations of respecting and looking after yourself.是你尊重和看待自己的基础。

These six things are crucial starting points for anyone serious about delivering body-confidence education that works.这六件事对于那些真正想要建立有效的身形自信心的人来说是至关重要的起点。

An education is critical,教育是很重要的,

but tackling this problem is going to require each and everyone of us to step up and be better role models for the women and girls in our own lives.但是解决这个问题需要我们所有人提升自己,并且成为我们生活中的妇女和女孩们更好的榜样。

Challenging the status quo of how women are seen and talked about in our own circles.挑战我们在圈子中如何看待和谈论女性的现状。

It is not okay that we judge the contribution of our politicians by their haircuts or the size of their breasts,我们不能仅凭政治家的发型和胸围去判断她的贡献大小,

or to infer that the determination or the success of an Olympian is down to her not being a looker.或者因为长相不佳而推断一个奥运会运动员不会成功。

We need to start judging people by what they do,我们需要根据人们的所做所为去评判一个人,

not what they look like.而不是他们的长相。

We can all start by taking responsibility for the types of pictures and comments that we post on our own social networks.我们可以从对那些我们发布在社交网络上的图片和评论负责开始做起。

We can compliment people based on their effort and their actions and not on their appearance.我们可以基于人们的努力和行动去赞美他们,而不是他们的相貌。

And let me ask you,让我问你,

when was the last time that you kissed a mirror?你上一次亲吻镜子是什么时候?

Ultimately, we need to work together最终,我们需要团结一致,

as communities, as governments and as businesses to really change this culture of ours so that our kids grow up valuing their whole selves, valuing individuality, diversity, inclusion.社区,政府和企业要一起努力,去改变我们的这些文化,这样我们的孩子才能在成长中获得完整的自我,重视个性、多元和包容。

We need to put the people that are making a real difference on our pedestals,我们要让那些正在改变我们现状的人

making a difference in the real world.去改变真实的世界。

Giving them the airtime,给他们时间,

because only then will we create a different world.因为只有这样我们才能创造一个不同的世界,

A world where our kids are free to become the best versions of themselves,一个我们的孩子可以自由地成为最好的自己的世界,

where the way they think they look never holds them back from being who they are or achieving what they want in life.一个他们不会因自己的长相而阻碍他们成为自己想要成为的人或者获得想要的东西的世界。

Think about what this might mean for someone in your life.想一下这对你生命中的某个人可能意味着什么。

Who have you got in mind?你脑海中出现了谁?

Is it your wife?是你妻子吗?

Your sister?你妹妹?

Your daughter?你女儿?

Your niece?你侄女?

Your friend?还是你的某个朋友?

It could just be the woman a couple of seats away from you today.可能只是今天跟你隔着几个座位的某个女性。

What would it mean for her if she were freed from that voice of her inner critic,如果她能摆脱内心挑剔的声音,这将对她意味着什么呢?

nagging her to have longer legs, thinner thighs, smaller stomach, shorter feet?那些声音不断告诉她要有更长更细的腿,更平坦的肚子和更小巧的脚。

What could it mean for her if we overcame this and unlocked her potential in that way?如果我们能摆脱这些并以此释放她的潜力,那对她来说又将意味着什么?

Right now, our culture's obsession with image is holding us all back.现在,我们文化中对形象的痴迷阻碍了我们所有人。

But let's show our kids the truth.但让我们告诉孩子们真相。

Let's show them that the way you look is just one part of your identity and that the truth is we love them for who they are and what they do and how they make us feel.让我们告诉他们长相只是身份的一部分,而事实是我们爱他们是因为他们是谁,因为他们的所做所为以及他们给我们的感觉。

Let's build self-esteem into our school curriculums.让我们在学校课程中设置建立自尊心项目。

Let's each and every one of us change the way we talk and compare ourselves to other people.让我们每个人改变我们谈论自己和与他人比较的方式。

And let's work together as communities,让我们共同努力,

from grassroots to governments,从基层到政府,

so that the happy little one-year-olds of today become the confident changemakers of tomorrow.以便这些今天一岁大的快乐的孩子们成为明天自信的变革者。

Let's do this.我们来做这个吧。



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