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发布者: 千缘 | 发布时间: 2019-10-8 01:19| 查看数: 213| 评论数: 0|帖子模式

今天跟大家分享的这篇TED演讲,是一篇普特君觉得非常精彩且直击人心的演讲。在TED官网上,这篇演讲的播放量已经突破一千万。Maysoon Zayid是一位喜剧演员、作家,她的演讲中有很多梗,逗的台下的观众不时发出笑声。她出生的时候,因为意外,不幸患上脑瘫。她每天时时刻刻都在颤抖,所以必须坐在椅子上进行演讲。



Hello, TEDWomen, what's up. 各位女同胞们,大家好!你们还好吗?

Not good enough. Hello, TEDWomen, what is up? 再大声点,各位女同胞们,大家好!你们还好吗?

My name is Maysoon Zayid, and I am not drunk, but the doctor who delivered me was. He cut my mom six different times in six different directions, suffocating poor little me in the process. As a result, I have cerebral palsy, which means I shake all the time. Look. It's exhausting. I'm like Shakira, Shakira meets Muhammad Ali. 我叫Maysoon Zayid。虽然接生我的医生当时喝醉了,但我可清醒着呢!他从六个不同的方向,切了我妈的肚皮六次,差点闷死我。就这样,我得了脑瘫,每天时时刻刻都在颤抖。你们看,这太累了。我觉得自己特像夏奇拉,夏奇拉遇到了穆罕默德·阿里(拳王阿里,患有帕金森)。

CP is not genetic. It's not a birth defect. You can't catch it. No one put a curse on my mother's uterus, and I didn't get it because my parents are first cousins, which they are. It only happens from accidents, like what happened to me on my birth day. 脑瘫不会遗传,这不是生来就有的病。你根本无法预料,没人诅咒我妈的子宫。我有这个毛病,也不是因为我的父母是表兄妹。在我出生那天,发生了一场意外。

Now, I must warn you, I'm not inspirational. And I don't want anyone in this room to feel bad for me, because at some point in your life, you have dreamt of being disabled. Come on a journey with me. It's Christmas Eve, you're at the mall, you're driving around in circles looking for parking, and what do you see? Sixteen empty handicapped spaces. And you're like, "God, can't I just be a little disabled?" Also, I've got to tell you, I've got 99 problems, and palsy is just one. If there was an Oppression Olympics, I would win the gold medal. I'm Palestinian, Muslim, I'm female, I'm disabled, and I live in New Jersey. If you don't feel better about yourself, maybe you should. 我得提醒你们,我可不是什么励志人物。也不希望各位,会觉得我可怜。在某些时刻,你们会希望自己有点残疾。我们来一起看看吧,圣诞前夜你开车在超市转来转去,想找个停车位。猜猜你会看到什么?十六个空的残疾人停车位!你会想,“天哪! 我怎么就不能有点残疾呢?”我得告诉你们,我有99个麻烦,脑瘫只是其中之一。如果有什么类似受压迫奥运会,我肯定能拿金牌。我是巴勒斯坦人、穆斯林、女性、残疾人。还有,我住在新泽西。如果你自我感觉不太好的话,或许可以考虑参加。

Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown. I have always loved the fact that my hood and my affliction share the same initials. I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk from my house to New York City, I could. 新泽西的Cliffiside Park是我的家乡。我感到高兴的是,我的家乡和我的残疾有着相同的首字母。我还感到高兴的是,我可以从家步行到纽约市。

A lot of people with CP don't walk, but my parents didn't believe in "can't." My father's mantra was, "You can do it, yes you can can." (Laughter) So, if my three older sisters were mopping, I was mopping. If my three older sisters went to public school, my parents would sue the school system and guarantee that I went too, and if we didn't all get A's, we all got my mother's slipper. My father taught me how to walk when I was five years old by placing my heels on his feet and just walking. Another tactic that he used is he would dangle a dollar bill in front of me and have me chase it. My inner stripper was very strong. Yeah. No, by the first day of kindergarten, I was walking like a champ who had been punched one too many times. 很多有脑瘫的人根本走不了,但是我的父母相信一切皆有可能。我父亲的口头禅是“你可以做到。是的,你一定行!”(笑声)如果我的三个姐姐在拖地,我也得和她们一块儿拖。如果她们去上公立学校,而我去不了,我的父母就会起诉学校。如果我们的成绩不是全A,我妈就会用拖鞋砸我们。我五岁时,父亲开始教我如何走路。我的脚后跟踩着他的脚,就这样走着。他曾在我面前晃着一美元钞票,让我追着跑。那时我跳脱衣舞的欲望非常强烈,的确如此。第一天去幼儿园时,我走路的样子像是被打了好几下的拳击冠军。

Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town, and they were all my family. Now there are 20 Arabs in town, and they are still all my family. I don't think anyone even noticed we weren't Italian. This was before 9/11 and before politicians thought it was appropriate to use "I hate Muslims" as a campaign slogan. The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith. They did, however, seem very concerned that I would starve to death during Ramadan. I would explain to them that I have enough fat to live off of for three whole months, so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake. 在我成长的小镇上,原来只有六个阿拉伯人,而且他们都是我的家人。现在有二十个阿拉伯人了,他们仍然都还是我的家人( 笑声)。我想没人注意到我们不是意大利人(笑声)(鼓掌)。那是在911事件发生前,那时候政客们还没拿“我憎恶穆斯林”作为竞选口号。和我一起长大的小伙伴们对我的信仰没什么意见,但是他们担心我会在斋月期间饿死。我会和他们说,我的脂肪足够多,可以熬过整整三个月,所以整个白天不吃饭对我来说不是什么难事。

I have tap-danced on Broadway. Yeah, on Broadway. It's crazy. My parents couldn't afford physical therapy, so they sent me to dancing school. I learned how to dance in heels, which means I can walk in heels. And I'm from Jersey, and we are really concerned with being chic, so if my friends wore heels, so did I. 我在百老汇跳过踢踏舞。百老汇!这感觉太棒了!我的父母付不起理疗费用,所以送我到舞蹈学校。我学会如何踩着高跟鞋跳舞,这样我也能踩着高跟鞋走路了。我来自泽西岛,这儿的人都希望自己看上去很时髦,如果我有朋友穿高跟鞋,我也会和她们一样。

And when my friends went and spent their summer vacations on the Jersey Shore, I did not. I spent my summers in a war zone, because my parents were afraid that if we didn't go back to Palestine every single summer, we'd grow up to be Madonna. Summer vacations often consisted of my father trying to heal me, so I drank deer's milk, I had hot cups on my back, I was dunked in the Dead Sea, and I remember the water burning my eyes and thinking, "It's working! It's working!" 当朋友们都去泽西海岸度假时,我却没跟着去。我在一个战区度过了自己的暑假,我的父母担心,如果我们每个夏天都不回巴勒斯坦,我们以后就会变成麦当娜。每个暑假 我的父亲都在尝试帮助我,让我喝鹿奶,在我的后背绑着滚烫的杯子,让我浸泡在死海中 我还记得,海水灼烧着我的眼睛。我在想“啊!起作用了!起作用了!”

But one miracle cure we did find was yoga. I have to tell you, it's very boring, but before I did yoga, I was a stand-up comedian who can't stand up. And now I can stand on my head. My parents reinforced this notion that I could do anything, that no dream was impossible, and my dream was to be on the daytime soap opera "General Hospital." I went to college during affirmative action and got a sweet scholarship to ASU, Arizona State University, because I fit every single quota. I was like the pet lemur of the theater department. Everybody loved me. I did all the less-than-intelligent kids' homework, I got A's in all of my classes, A's in all of their classes. Every time I did a scene from "The Glass Menagerie," my professors would weep. But I never got cast. Finally, my senior year, ASU decided to do a show called "They Dance Real Slow in Jackson." It's a play about a girl with CP. I was a girl with CP. So I start shouting from the rooftops, "I'm finally going to get a part! I have cerebral palsy! Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!" I didn't get the part. Sherry Brown got the part. I went racing to the head of the theater department crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat, to ask her why, and she said it was because they didn't think I could do the stunts. I said, "Excuse me, if I can't do the stunts, neither can the character." This was a part that I was literally born to play they gave it to a non-palsy actress. College was imitating life. Hollywood has a sordid history of casting able-bodied actors to play disabled onscreen. 最后我们发现,唯一有效的治疗方法是瑜伽。我不得不说,瑜伽实在是太无聊了。在我做瑜伽前,我是一个站不起来的单口相声演员,但是现在我可以倒立了。我的父母不断向我灌输这样的思想,没有我做不到的事情,没有实现不了的梦想。我的梦想是能够上日间肥皂剧《综合医院》。在反歧视运动中,我上了大学,并在ASU获得了一份数目可观的奖学金。亚利桑那州立大学,这是因为我百分之百符合学校的要求,我就像剧院里的狐猴,每个人都喜欢我。我做了其他一些不太聪明的孩子的功课,我不但自己获得了全A 还帮他们获得了全A。每次当我排演话剧《玻璃动物园》,教授们都会感动得泪流满面,但我从来没得到过一个角色。大四那年,ASU准备排练一个节目,叫做《在杰克逊翩翩起舞》。这个戏剧是关于一个患有脑瘫的女孩,那不就是我!我在屋顶大叫大嚷,我终于有机会表演啦!真高兴我患有脑瘫!自由万岁!自由万岁!感谢万能的上帝!自由万岁!可是我没得到那个角色。Sherry Brown成为了那个女孩。我一口气跑到戏剧系的主任那儿,哭的死去活来,好像有人打死了我的猫似的问她为什么。她说戏剧部认为我演不了那些动作。拜托!要是我演不了,她也一样。这是我一生下来就开始扮演的角色,但他们却给了一个健全的人。大学只不过是在模仿生活而已,让健全的演员饰演残疾人。在这一点上,好莱坞有着不堪回首的历史。

Upon graduating, I moved back home, and my first acting gig was as an extra on a daytime soap opera. My dream was coming true. And I knew that I would be promoted from "Diner Diner" to "Wacky Best Friend" in no time. But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture that you could only recognize from the back of my head, and it became clear to me that casting directors didn't hire fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors. They only hired perfect people. But there were exceptions to the rule. I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Ellen, and all of these women had one thing in common: they were comedians. So I became a comic. 毕业后,我搬回家。我的第一个表演机会是作为一名日间肥皂剧的临时演员。我的梦想快要实现了,我知道自己不久将会从《路边小饭馆》走到《奇葩好友》。然而,我仍是那个徒有虚名的小演员,你只能从我的后脑勺认出我。显而易见,导演们不会用那些肤浅的患有残疾的少数民族,他们只会任用那些完美无瑕的人。但是凡事都有例外,我从小是看着乌比·戈德宝 罗西妮·巴尔和艾伦长大的,这些女人都有一个共性:她们都是喜剧演员,所以后来我成为了其中一员。

My first gig was driving famous comics from New York City to shows in New Jersey, and I'll never forget the face of the first comic I ever drove when he realized that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike with a chick with CP driving him. I've performed in clubs all over America, and I've also performed in Arabic in the Middle East, uncensored and uncovered. Some people say I'm the first stand-up comic in the Arab world. I never like to claim first, but I do know that they never heard that nasty little rumor that women aren't funny, and they find us hysterical. In 2003, my brother from another mother and father Dean Obeidallah and I started the New York Arab-American Comedy Festival, now in its 10th year. Our goal was to change the negative image of Arab-Americans in media, while also reminding casting directors that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous. Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier than conquering the challenge against the stigma against disability. 我的初次亮相是带着那些著名的喜剧演员,开车从纽约市到新泽西的表演场地。我永远忘不了,当驶过新泽西高速公路时,我第一位乘客意识到他的司机是一位患有脑瘫的女孩,所流露出的表情。我在全美的各种俱乐部中表演,我还在中东用阿拉伯语表演过。没有审查,也没有报道,有人说我是第一个在阿拉伯国家表演的单口相声演员。但我从不这么说,我知道他们肯定没听过那些荒唐的言论,女人一点儿也不幽默,他们发现我们神经过敏。在2003年,我的异父异母的哥哥Dean Obeidallah和我举办了一个活动,叫做“纽约市阿裔美国人喜剧节”。现在已经是第十个年头了,我们希望可以改变媒体上阿拉伯裔美国人的负面形象。同时也告诉那些导演们,南亚人和阿拉伯人并不一样。相比于战胜对残疾人的诽谤,阿拉伯的主流人群好相处的多。

My big break came in 2010. I was invited to be a guest on the cable news show "Countdown with Keith Olbermann." I walked in looking like I was going to the prom, and they shuffle me into a studio and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair. So I looked at the stage manager and I'm like, "Excuse me, can I have another chair?" And she looked at me and she went, "Five, four, three, two ..." And we were live, right? So I had to grip onto the anchor's desk so that I wouldn't roll off the screen during the segment, and when the interview was over, I was livid. I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it, and I knew I would never get invited back. But not only did Mr. Olbermann invite me back, he made me a full-time contributor, and he taped down my chair. 我职业生涯的突破起源于2010年。我去一家有线新闻台做嘉宾,《Keith Olbermann倒计时》,我走了进去,感觉像是去参加舞会。他们拖着我进了演播室,让我坐在一个不停旋转晃动的椅子上。我看着舞台监督“请问一下,能给我换个椅子吗?”她看着我说道 “五,四,三,二....”我们正在直播,不是吗?所以我只能紧紧地抓住主持人的桌子,确保不会从镜头中突然消失。访谈结束后,我气炸了。我得到自己梦寐以求的机会,却又搞砸了,我知道自己再没有机会了。但是Olbermann不仅把我邀请回去,而且全程都非常尊重我,给我机会去讲话,并把我的椅子用胶带固定住。

One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann was that humans on the Internet are scumbags. People say children are cruel, but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult. Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game. I would look at clips online and see comments like, "Yo, why's she tweakin'?" "Yo, is she retarded?" And my favorite, "Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist. What does she suffer from? We should really pray for her." One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits: screenwriter, comedian, palsy. 在和Keith Olbermann做节目的过程中,我学到了一个有趣的事:网络上的人类总是丑陋的。人们总是说,孩子有时候会很残忍,但在成长的过程中,我从来没受过别人的嘲笑。突然,我的残疾却在网络上遭到攻击。我会看看网上的一些片段,再看些评论“哇,为什么她在不停地扭动身体?”“哇,她是不是智力有问题啊?”我喜欢的是,“这个可笑的恐怖分子,她到底怎么回事?我们该为她祈福祷告。”一个评论家甚至建议我把自己的残疾视为一种荣誉,剧作家、喜剧演员、脑瘫。

Disability is as visual as race. If a wheelchair user can't play Beyoncé, then Beyoncé can't play a wheelchair user. The disabled are the largest — Yeah, clap for that, man. Come on. People with disabilities are the largest minority in the world, and we are the most underrepresented in entertainment. 残疾如同一个人的肤色一样明显。如果腿脚不便的人演不了碧昂斯,那么碧昂斯也演不了坐轮椅的人。残疾人是最大的,喝彩加油吧!残疾人是世界上最大的少数群体,在娱乐节目中几乎看不到残疾人的身影。

The doctors said that I wouldn't walk, but I am here in front of you. However, if I grew up with social media, I don't think I would be. I hope that together, we can create more positive images of disability in the media and in everyday life. Perhaps if there were more positive images, it would foster less hate on the Internet. Or maybe not. Maybe it still takes a village to teach our children well. 医生曾说我走不了,但我现在就站在这儿。但是,如果我从小与社交媒体相伴,我可能就真的走不了。我希望能在媒体以及人们的日常生活中,为残疾人营造更多的积极形象。或许通过这种方式,互联网会少些诋毁。或许什么改变都没有,教育好我们的孩子,这也许需要全村人的努力。

My crooked journey has taken me to some very spectacular places. I got to walk the red carpet flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci and the iconic Loreen Arbus. I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler and work with my idol, the amazing Dave Matthews. I toured the world as a headliner on Arabs Gone Wild. I was a delegate representing the great state of New Jersey at the 2008 DNC. And I founded Maysoon's Kids, a charity that hopes to give Palestinian refugee children a sliver of the chance my parents gave me. But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got -- before this moment -- But the one moment that stands out the most was when I got to perform for the man who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, has Parkinson's and shakes just like me, Muhammad Ali. 我坎坷的经历却把我带到了,一些美妙的地方。我曾和肥皂剧的女主角Susan Lucci以及偶像Lorraine Arbus一起走过红地毯。我将和Adam Sandler出演一部电影,并和我的偶像Dave Matthews一起工作,作为《狂野的阿拉伯人》的主演。我环游世界,我代表新泽西州出席了2008年的民主党全国委员会。我成立了Maysoon儿童基金会,希望能给巴勒斯坦难民营的儿童一点点我当初父母曾给我的希望。但是最重要的时刻是,当我将要----在此之前,但是最重要的时刻是,当我将要为一个身手敏捷出手直击要害的人表演。他有帕金森病,也像我一样会不停地颤抖——穆罕默德·阿里。

It was the only time that my father ever saw me perform live, and I dedicate this talk to his memory. (Arabic) Allah yerhamak yaba. 这是唯一一次,我父亲看我的直播表演,我把这个演讲献给他。(阿拉伯语)

My name is Maysoon Zayid, and if I can can, you can can. 我的名字叫Maysoon Zayid,如果我可以,你一定也行。


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