My home is in the country. My mama is a peasant. She hates the rural life.<br>I am so grateful that she took me to this world, brought me up, supported me to educate in the university and so on.  no matter how hard, no matter what happened ,she persisted in her dream that I must  go to university. It is rare in the country that a girl like me had never gone to farmland and never done agricultural work. As people of the whole village know, she loves me very much. The fact justifies her. When I went to the university, it meant that I had said bye to the rural life. That is to say I began to shake off poverty, bitterness and so on since that day. I thank her for what she had done for me.<o:p></o:p>
I also hate her when I am troubled with loneliness. In order to let me go to university, she let me do nothing but study. She forbidden me to make friends. In whole teenagers in mine period, there is neither 'boyfriend' nor 'girlfriends'. So I am always alone and often feel lonely. I feel lonely also because she was always quarrelling with my father.  The noise of the quarrelling accompanied my growing up. I got used to being alone. When I finally went to the university, I even didn't know how to make friends and how to get along with my classmates. I tried to change my individual character, but I found it is so hard.<br>  After entering the university, I always could find reasons not to go home because I was not willing to face that family.<o:p></o:p>
  Two weeks ago, she called me and said, "I'm gonna see you next week."<br>  I kept silent.<o:p></o:p>
  Then she asked carefully and grandly: "Am I welcome?"<br>  I was pestered by the love and hate. I didn't answer directly.<o:p></o:p>
I heard her sighing: "That depends."<o:p></o:p>
When I hang up, I had my face covered with tears. I know I am all in all to her. Just because she didn‘t love me the way I wanted her to, didn‘t mean she don‘t love me with all she have.<br>  I know I should call her back at once and told her: "you are welcome, anytime", but I didn't do that.<o:p></o:p>
    <o:p></o:p><br>

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-11-16 1:05:58编辑过]

<FONT face=Verdana size=2>Snowwhite.After reading your post about your mother,I am extremely missing my mother now.[em04]</FONT>
<FONT face=Verdana size=2>Your story above is a little similar as mine.My morther always does all of the housework and works very hard.[em04]</FONT>
<FONT face=Verdana size=2>I ever saw my morther's tears.But she has a strong will ,and i adore her so much.</FONT>
<FONT face=Verdana size=2>But I never take good enough care of her.</FONT><FONT face=Verdana size=2>[em06]</FONT>

I am similar as you both. But last Oct. 1, my mother came to my university to see me. We have had some happy days toghter, in our campus and out city. We cannot do much for my mother now, but wish her a happy mood and a good healthy.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-11-11 1:10:46编辑过]

<DIV class=quote><B>以下是引用<I>snowwhite</I>在2005-11-3 23:48:19的发言：</B><BR>
  
I tried to change my individual character, but I found it is so hard.<BR><BR></DIV>
then  u  should  drip  it!
but as  your  mother is concerned,i think u should  love  her ,dispite  you  have  her  to blame on!
such as ,it  seems  that she  made  u   unable  to makefriends,i  think it   is   your  pretext!
Remember,mother is  great in  the world.heheee.............

snowwhite is a very good girl ,I like to chat with her

my parents never care about my study ,so i didn t become a university student ,so i cant find a good job now.
i meant would study hard if everything could once more . do you see.

anny, I can absolutely understand you.
Life is not always what we wanted and expected. We always lost something while we got something.
Sometimes, I was just tortured by my feelings. In my deep heart, I thank her.
Thank you. I see what you said.

<FONT size=4>Snowwhite, I also think you should have called back your mother and invited her to come to you. I can imagine that you had regreted not to have said " you are welcome, mom" even before you hung up the phone.</FONT>
<FONT size=4>But don't regret in tears any more, snowwhite. Dont do nothing but regret any more when you still have chances to do what you haven't done but you are supposed to do. So it is still not late for you to make up for your hesitation. Just pick up the phone dial your mom as usual and say what a daughter is supposed to say to mom.</FONT>
<FONT size=4>Yours ever.</FONT>

Thank you, colinchang. Your point is well taken.
In fact,I called back after I finished the article. But for some reason,she said it was unnecessary for her to come to me. Actually, she missed my daughter much more than me at that time. My daughter is always vivid in her memory and my daughter is always willing to accept her love.
I don't think I am a perfect mama. Sometime,I even think I am only one of a kind. Maybe some day, my daughter will also hate me. I don't know when the day will come to me. Sometime I feel myself like a clown and I am just simple moving on, going and gone (as one song sings).

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-11-22 9:20:20编辑过]

<FONT face=Arial>the world ...   i have owed so many things for it...</FONT>
<FONT face=Arial>i think i'll won't be a human in the next life...</FONT>

<FONT color=#ff0000>I have the same feelings,and I have no messages with my family for four months.</FONT>
<FONT color=#ff0000>Is<FONT color=#0033ff>“didn‘t mean she don‘t love me with all she have</FONT>” in the story right?</FONT>

no word to say, except i miss my mother very much when i reading this post.

no one can make everything perfect,,our parents may have done sth wrong ,after all,parents r parents,,we should respect them and try to make them happy..

I think you hate you mother is for that you are tooyoung to understand your mom's love.

mother's love is great,but there must be some mistakesbecause she is also humans.

i love my mom even though she have never gone to school,even though she is a peasant.In hermind shebelieve that what she has done is good to me . i don't agree with her sometimes,but i know this is the way she love me.

i believe that in your deep heart ,you still love your mom so much.

(psmy english is poor ,if anybody find mistakes,please point it.thanksa lot!)