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自我反省的习惯如何助力你的工作

发布者: 五毒 | 发布时间: 2023-1-19 21:46| 查看数: 17| 评论数: 0|



I wrote this journal entry in 2013.

在2013年,我记下了这么一条日志。

I've been sleeping restlessly for months.

“我已经几个月没睡个好觉了。

There's a constant feeling of tension in my body.

我感觉身体里一直神经紧绷。

I love ministry as a Catholic priest, the opportunity to share my faith with people and support them as we journey through life together.

我很喜欢天主教神父这份工作,有机会与人们分享我的信仰,在人生的旅途中为他们提供支持。

But I have a desire to share my life with another person.

但是我很想与他人共度我的人生。

I knew, in discerning ministry, that celibacy, not getting married, was part of the package.

我知道,在严苛的神职部门,这种不能结婚的独身制度是工作的一部分。

But I don't know if I can do this any longer.

但是我不确定自己能不能继续坚持下去。

I'm rarely alone.

虽然我总是有人陪伴,

But I feel bitterly lonely.

但是我觉得孤苦伶仃。”

I wrote this when I was on the cusp of making one of the biggest and most significant decisions of my life.

我写下这几句的时候,我正面临人生最重大的决定之一:

Whether to leave ministry as a Catholic priest.

是否要放弃天主教神父这份工作。

I think my life has been a reasonably unique and unusual one.

我觉得我的人生还挺与众不同的。

Now in my early forties, I've had careers as an opera singer, a Catholic priest, a corporate lawyer, and now, a management consultant.

我现在40岁出头,已经当过歌剧演员、天主教神父、公司律师,现在是一名管理顾问。

And when people hear the careers that I've had, the most common question I get asked, maybe the one that's on your mind, is:

人们听到我从事过的职业,最常问我的一个问题就是……或许也正是你想问的……

What on earth is the connection amongst it all?

“这些工作之间到底有什么关系啊?”

Through all of these changes, through all of these careers, one constant has been present.

经历了这些动荡,换了这几份工作,只有一件事没有改变:

The practice of reflection.

自我反省。

Now people may think that reflection is something that happens in a dark, private room by candlelight or flashlight, to purge one's deepest, darkest secrets.

有些人可能会觉得自省得在昏暗独立的房间,点上蜡烛或者手电筒,消除自己内心最深处、最阴暗的秘密。

But I want to bring this practice out of the dark and into the light.

但是我想将这个行为带出黑暗,走进大众的视野。

I want to share how this practice can help our everyday lives, and especially our work lives.

我想和大家分享,这种做法如何有助于我们的日常生活,尤其是我们的工作。

I want to share how this practice helps to improve performance, to make better decisions, both big and small, and to build better relationships.

我想分享这种做法如何提高我们的表现,如何做出更好的决定,无论大小,和如何建立更好的人际关系。

Interestingly, in a 2020 survey of some 4,000 respondents, conducted by BCG and BVA, the question was asked: What makes a good leader?

有趣的是,2020年一份大约有4000人参与、由BCG和BVA组织的调查问卷,问了这样一个问题:“好领导有什么特质?

What are their main qualities and skills?

他们主要有一些什么样的品质和技能?”

Notably, possessing a good capacity for reflection was listed as one of the top five skills, the others being empathy, listening,

值得一提的是,拥有良好的自我反省能力被评为了最重要的五个技能之一,其他四个为同理心、聆听、

consideration and team development.

考虑周全和培养团队。

Reflection is about learning.

自省是一种学习的方式。

It's about looking at the events of our lives without judgment, but with a critical lens.

观察我们生活中发生的事件,不是为了评判,而是批判性地审视。

I really like the way leadership professors James Bailey and Scheherazade Rehman describe it:

我很喜欢领导力教授詹姆斯·贝利和舍赫拉扎德·雷曼的说法:

It requires taking an honest moment to look at what transpired, what worked, what didn't, what can be done and what can't.

“这要求我们坦诚地审视发生了什么事,什么是有效的,什么是无效的,我们还能做些什么,做不到什么。

Reflection requires courage.

自省需要勇气。

It's thoughtful.

需要缜密思考、

And it's deliberate.

深思熟虑。”

So how do we do this, then?

那我们如何做到这点呢?

Let's take a look at sports.

我们可以看一看体育运动。

I grew up in Australia.

我在澳大利亚长大,

And one of the most popular games played was cricket.

最流行的一种活动就是打板球。

Consistent high performance from batters, bowlers and fielders is essential.

击球手、投球手和外野手的持续高水平发挥不可或缺。

But given it's a team sport, it's not just about how...

但是由于这是项团队运动,它就不在于个人的发挥,

the individual performs, but about how the team performs collectively together.

而在于一个队伍整体的发挥。

Cricketers reflect during a game, after a game and over time.

板球运动员在赛中、赛后以及长期都会进行反思。

During a game, they might think about a missed catch or how they could bat or bowl better the next delivery.

比赛时,他们可能会思考丢掉的球或者如何在下一轮更好地击球或投球。

After a game, they might come together to watch video replays, to look at what worked and what didn't,

赛后,他们会聚在一起观看赛事回放,回顾一下什么做对了,什么没做好,

which might differ from what they actually experienced during the game itself.

可能会与比赛当时的实际感受不太一样。

And then, over time, they might look to the patterns of their wins and losses, to glean even more meaningful conclusions and insights.

长远来看,他们会观察输赢的规律,收集更有价值的结论和洞察。

The same process can and should be used in the workplace.

同样的流程可以,也应该出现在职场中,

And I don't think we need to watch video replays of our meetings to dissect what took place.

虽然我觉得我们没必要回看开会的录屏,分析一下发生了什么。

I don't know about you.

我不知道你们怎么想,

But that might feel kind of creepy.

但是听起来有点诡异。

Reflection can be done through a variety of different formats: purposeful thinking, written journal entries, audio notes, pitches,

自我反省可以有很多种形式:带有目的地思考,手写日志、录音笔记、推销想法、

a discussion with a mentor or honest friend.

与导师或者坦诚的朋友聊聊天。

The point is to find what works for you and to make a regular commitment.

关键在于找到什么适合你自己,你也愿意持续为其付出。

To examine the events and experiences of your lives, what worked, what didn't, and why.

审视你人生中的事件和经历,什么干得好,什么干得不好,为什么,

And then, to think about what and how you would like to do things differently next time.

然后思考一下下一次需要做出什么改变,又该如何采取不一样的行动。

When we practice reflection as a habit, we gain even more meaningful insight.

如果我们把自我反省当作一个习惯,我们就会收获更多有价值的领悟,

Because we see patterns that reflection on stand-alone events doesn't provide.

因为我们可以看出一些无法由反思单一事件得出的规律。

I truly think reflection can help everyone, people in every industry, at every stage in one's career, and in every point in one's life.

我真的认为自我反省有助于每个人——每个行业的人,每个职业阶段的人,人生各个节点上的人。

Let me share with you an example that I think most people can connect with.

我想分享一个我觉得大家都能感同身受的例子。

Most of us have meetings.

很多人都要开会。

I was due for a daily catch-up with a colleague.

我每天都要和一位同事开个同步会议。

He had just led a client meeting for the first time.

他刚第一次主持了一场和客户的会议。

It was to give a progress update on the work stream he was responsible for in this project.

会议上他要更新一下他在此项目中负责的业务进展。

He said to me that the meeting had gone terribly.

他对我说,这场会议翻车了。

He didn't get through the actions taken.

他没说明白完成了一些什么工作。

He wasn't able to discuss the obstacles faced or the decisions required.

没说明白遇到了什么困难、需要做一些什么决定,

He didn't get to the next steps or the responsible persons.

没说下一步该做些什么、谁该负责。

He felt angst, uneasy, upset.

他感到焦虑、不安、沮丧。

He was concerned about what the client had thought of him and the meeting, but more importantly,

他担心客户会怎么看待他和这场会议,但是更重要的是,

what the client felt about the work that was going on in the work stream.

客户会怎么看待业务流程中还在进行的工作。

It would have been so easy for him to have pushed past this, to try and suppress the emotions, but that would have missed a massive opportunity.

他本可以轻而易举地把它看作过往云烟,试着克制这些情感,但他就会失去一个宝贵的机会。

We took a few moments to think and objectively reflect over what took place,

我们花了点时间思考,客观地反思发生了一些什么情况,

and then to put in place some commitments as to what and how he could do things differently next time.

然后准备了一些下次应该改变一些什么,如何进行改变的措施。

He decided that in the future, he would start each meeting with an agenda alignment, to make sure there was clarity on what needed to be achieved.

他决定以后在会议开头要表明会议议程,确保大家对本次会议的目标有明确的认识。

And then, he'd resolve to make sure that he would take greater control over the meeting so that if topics came up beyond the scope of the agenda,

然后,他下定决心要对会议有更多的控制权,这样如果出现了议程之外的话题,

that he'd note that a separate discussion should be had.

他就可以记下需要再组织一次讨论。

Reflection helps to improve performance.

自我反省可以让人改进工作表现。

Reflection helps to make better decisions.

自我反省可以让人做出更好的决定。

Imagine, for a moment, you've been in your current role for five years.

假设一下,你干这份工作已经五年了。

It's a creative role.

是个创造性岗位,

But you don't quite feel you've got that zing, that energy for it, anymore.

但是你再也感受不到兴奋劲儿,对它没什么激情了。

You've been offered another opportunity in the organization.

此时公司给你提供了另一个机会。

It's actually a promotion.

其实是升职。

It's a more senior role, managerial.

是个更高级的职位,管理性质的职位。

But you'll have responsibility for looking after 12 direct reports.

但是你要负责管理12位下属。

A competitor has also recently reached out to you.

同行公司最近也联系了你。

They've offered you an opportunity for the same kind of role that you've got currently.

他们愿意给你一个机会,类似于你现在的岗位,

But it pays a higher salary.

但是薪资更高。

There's a big difference between being a creative and being a manager.

创造性岗位和管理岗位是有很大差别的。

So what is it that really makes you happy?

真正能让你快乐的是什么呢?

What is it that really makes you fulfilled?

真正能让你产生满足感的是什么呢?

Reflection provides a treasure trove of data to help you work through this.

自我反省提供了一个数据的宝库,帮助你想明白这些答案。

Have your reflections mentioned being bored with projects?

你有没有在反思的过程中提到过项目好无聊?

Or do you just want to try something new?

或者你就想尝试一些新事物?

Would you like to be a manager?

你想当经理吗?

Would you like to see people grow and form and develop them?

你想见证别人的成长、培养他们、帮助他们发展吗?

Do you think you could do a better job than your own manager?

你觉得你能比你自己的经理干得更好吗?

Reflection provides great insight.

自我反省提供了很好的洞见。

It's easy to get lost when you've got an opportunity of a fancier job title and more money.

如果你有一个获取更高级职位、更高薪水的机会,你很容易就会迷失方向。

But reflection enables you to focus on what really matters, and to make better choices.

但是自省能让你关注真正重要的点,让你做出更好的选择。

Let me share with you a final example.

最后再给大家分享一个例子。

Most of us have relationships in our work, bosses, customers, clients, suppliers, whomever.

大多数人在工作时都会牵涉到人际关系——老板、顾客、客户、供应商等等。

And I think most of us try to have good relationships with these people.

我觉得大家应该都会试图和这些人搞好关系。

If I'm honest, while I strive for this ambition, I haven't always succeeded.

我坦白讲,我在为此竭尽全力时,也会有失败的时候,

But reflection has helped me to build better relationships.

但是自我反省有助于我建立更好的人际关系。

A number of years ago, I was giving a feedback session with a colleague.

多年以前,我和一位同事开了一场反馈会议,

And after having done so, I took a few moments to jot down some thoughts as to how it went.

开完了以后,我花了点时间记下了一些关于会议情况的想法。

I realized I had been too clinical.

我发现我太冷冰冰了。

In fact, if only you could have seen the expressions on my colleague's face.

你看看我同事的表情就知道了。

I'd raced through their various strengths and moved onto spending more time in their areas for development.

我飞速过了一下同事的强项,然后把更多的时间花在了他/她该如何做出改进上。

If I'd really thought about this person, I would have spent far greater time actually on their strengths,

如果我真的为这位同事考虑了,我就应该把大量的时间花在他/她的强项上,

actually emphasizing why they were such a valuable member of our organization, and then, creating a space where they felt psychologically safe,

强调他/她为什么是我们团队非常重要的成员,然后创造一个他/她心理上能感到有安全感的空间,

to be able to go on and explore these areas for development.

再接着谈下去,讨论一下需要改进的地方。

Reflection has helped me to improve this and to build better relationships.

自省让我优化了这个过程,建立更好的人际关系。

So this might all sound a little fine and dandy, and may be obvious or trivial.

听起来可能有些华而不实,或者显而易见、微不足道,

But the truth is, so many of us don't take time out for regular reflection.

但是事实上我们大多数人都不会花时间定期反思。

This practice has helped me and I am so grateful.

这种做法帮到了我,我很感激。

After I left being a priest, I took some time out for reflection to think about who I was and what I wanted my life to be about.

我辞去神父的工作后,花了点时间反思我是谁,我希望我的人生要怎么走下去。

Reflection helped me to grapple with this.

自我反省帮助我解决了这些问题,

And it continues to help me today as I grapple with this and other topics.

时至今日,它也依旧在帮助我想清楚这些问题和其他话题。

So as we end this day, or tomorrow, before you begin the next, sit down, take a breath, and reflect.

在今天或明天快结束的时候,在你开启第二天之前,坐下来,深呼吸,反思一下。

And you'll see the power that this habit brings to your life.

然后你就能目睹这个习惯为你的人生带来的效果。

Thank you.

谢谢。


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