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站出来,为变性团体发声

发布者: 五毒 | 发布时间: 2022-9-12 22:00| 查看数: 47| 评论数: 0|



The world makes you something that you're not, but you know inside what you are, and that question burns in your heart: How will you become that? I may be somewhat unique in this, but I am not alone, not alone at all. So when I became a fashion model, I felt that I'd finally achieved the dream that I'd always wanted since I was a young child. My outside self finally matched my inner truth, my inner self.

这个世界造就了一个不真实的你,但在内心深处,你知道自己是谁,有个问题在你的心中燃烧着:你是怎样变成那样的呢?也许我是这个问题的一个特例,但我并不孤单,一点也不。当我成为一名时装模特时,我感觉我终于实现了小时候一直向往的梦想。我外在的自我终于和我内心的真实,我真实的自我,成为一致。

For complicated reasons which I'll get to later, when I look at this picture, at that time I felt like, Geena, you've done it, you've made it, you have arrived. But this past October, I realized that I'm only just beginning. All of us are put in boxes by our family, by our religion, by our society, our moment in history, even our own bodies.Some people have the courage to break free, not to accept the limitations imposed by the color of their skin or by the beliefs of those that surround them. Those people are always the threat to the status quo, to what is considered acceptable.

由于一些我之后将解释复杂的原因,当我看着张照片时,那时我感觉,“吉娜你做到了,你成功了,你完成心愿了。”但是,在之前的十月里,我意识到这只是一个开始。我们大家都被家庭,宗教,社会,历史,甚至我们的身体所限制。有些人有勇气挣脱束缚。不接受因为皮肤颜色或者大环境中的信仰所导致的限制。这些人对所谓的“可以接受的标准”一直都是威胁。

In my case, for the last nine years, some of my neighbors, some of my friends, colleagues, even my agent, did not know about my history. I think, in mystery, this is called the reveal. Here is mine. I was assigned boy at birth based on the appearance of my genitalia. I remember when I was five years old in the Philippines walking around our house. I would always wear this t-shirt on my head. And my mom asked me, "How come you always wear that t-shirt on your head?" I said, "Mom, this is my hair. I'm a girl."

在我的例子中,在过去的九年里,我的一些邻居、一些朋友、同事,甚至我的经纪人,都不知道我的过去。我认为在宗教中这叫做事实的揭露。这是我的故事。在我出生时,根据生殖器的外观我被鉴别为男孩。我记得我五岁的时候,在菲律宾,在我们家走来走去。我总是会把这件短袖衫套在头上。我妈妈问我,“你为什么总是把那件短袖衫穿在头上?”我说:“妈妈,这是我的头发。我是一个女孩。”

I knew then how to self-identify. Gender has always been considered a fact, immutable, but we now know it's actually more fluid, complex and mysterious. Because of my success, I never had the courage to share my story, not because I thought what I am is wrong, but because of how the world treats those of us who wish to break free. Every day, I am so grateful because I am a woman.

I have a mom and dad and family who accepted me for who I am. Many are not so fortunate. There's a long tradition in Asian culture that celebrates the fluid mystery of gender.

那时我就知道如何自我识别。性别一直被认为是一个事实,不可改变,但我们现在知道,它其实更不稳定,更复杂,更神秘。因为我的成功,我从来没有勇气分享我的故事,不是因为我认为自己性别取向是错的,而是因为畏惧世界会如何对待我们这些打破常规的人。每一天,我都感到非常庆幸,因为我是一个女人。我有一个家庭和能够接受我真正自我的父母。但很多人并不是那么幸运。在亚洲文化中,有一种悠久的传统,那就是赞颂性别不定的神秘。

There is a Buddhist goddess of compassion. There is a Hindu goddess, hijra goddess. So when I was eight years old, I was at a fiesta in the Philippines celebrating these mysteries. I was in front of the stage, and I remember, out comes this beautiful woman right in front of me, and I remember that moment something hit me: That is the kind of woman I would like to be. So when I was 15 years old, still dressing as a boy, I met this woman named T.L. She is a transgender beauty pageant manager. That night she asked me, "How come you are not joining the beauty pageant?"

这是佛教中的观世音菩萨。这是印度教中的希吉拉女神。所以当我八岁那年,我在菲律宾的一个嘉年华会庆祝这些神秘宗教。我在舞台前,我记得,这个美丽的女人迎面向我走来。我记得,在那一刻我的内心被触动了:那就是我想成为的那种女人。在我15岁时我以男孩的身份见到了这位叫做T.L女士。她是变性选美大赛的经理。那天晚上,她问我:“你为什么不参加变性选美大赛呢?”

She convinced me that if I joined that she would take care of the registration fee and the garments, and that night, I won best in swimsuit and best in long gown and placed second runner up among 40-plus candidates.That moment changed my life. All of a sudden, I was introduced to the world of beauty pageants. Not a lot of people could say that your first job is a pageant queen for transgender women, but I'll take it. So from 15 to 17 years old, I joined the most prestigious pageant to the pageant where it's at the back of the truck, literally.

她说服我,如果我参加变性选美大赛,她会为我付注册费,帮我买服装。在那晚我赢得了最佳泳装奖,最佳长礼服奖并且在四十个候选人中获得了季军。那一刻改变了我的生活。倾刻之间,我迈入了选美大赛的世界中。没有多少人敢说你的第一份工作是变性选美大赛中的女王,不管别人怎样想,我接受了。所以,在我十五到十七岁那些年间,我参加了最负盛名的选美比赛,坦白的说,是在卡车背后举行的选美大赛。

Or sometimes it would be a pavement next to a rice field, and when it rains -- it rains a lot in the Philippines --the organizers would have to move it inside someone's house. I also experienced the goodness of strangers, especially when we would travel in remote provinces in the Philippines. But most importantly, I met some of my best friends in that community. In 2001, my mom, who had moved to San Francisco, called me and told me that my green card petition came through, that I could now move to the United States. I resisted it.

或者有时在庄稼地旁的马路上,在下雨的时候(菲律宾经常下雨),举办者就得把选美大赛移到别人的房子里。我也感受到了陌生人的善意,特别是当我们身处于菲律宾偏远的省市中。但是最重要的是,我遇到了那个社区中几个我最要好的朋友。在2001年,我移居旧金山的妈妈打电话通知我我的绿卡申请通过了,我可以移居美国了。但我拒绝了。

I told my mom, "Mom, I'm having fun. I'm here with my friends, I love traveling, being a beauty pageant queen."But then two weeks later she called me, she said, "Did you know that if you move to the United States you could change your name and gender marker?" That was all I needed to hear. My mom also told me to put two E's in the spelling of my name. She also came with me when I had my surgery in Thailand at 19 years old. It's interesting, in some of the most rural cities in Thailand,they perform some of the most prestigious, safe and sophisticated surgery.

我告诉我妈,“妈妈,我现在很开心。我和身边的朋友在一起,我爱旅行,我爱自己选美皇后的身份。”两周之后她又打电话给我,她说,“你知道如果你移居到美国,你个可以换一个名字,并且改变你的性别标识么?”那是我最希望听到的了。我妈妈还告诉我在我名字的拼写中放入两个字母“E”。当我19岁在泰国做变性手术时,她也在我身边。这真是很有趣,在泰国最乡村的地方,他们却可以做最先进,安全,并且成熟的变性手术。

At that time in the United States, you needed to have surgery before you could change your name and gender marker. So in 2001, I moved to San Francisco. And I remember looking at my California driver's license with the name Geenaand gender marker F. That was a powerful moment. For some people, their I.D. is their license to drive or even to get a drink. But for me, that was my license to live, to feel dignified. All of a sudden, my fears were minimized. I felt that I could conquer my dream and move to New York and be a model.

那时在美国,你需要进行变性手术后才能更改姓名和性别标记。所以在2001年,我搬到了旧金山。我记得,当我看着有着我名字吉娜和性别标识为女的加利福尼亚州驾照时,我深深地被触动了。对有些人来说,他们的驾照只是一个身份证,或者获取酒的凭证。但对我来说,那个驾照是使我可以生活,并感到有尊严的许可证。倾刻之间,我的畏惧被最小化了。我感到我可以征服我的梦想了,可以移居到纽约并成为一名模特。

Many are not so fortunate. I think of this woman named Islan Nettles. She's from New York, she's a young woman who was courageously living her truth, but hatred ended her life. For most of my community, this is the reality in which we live. Our suicide rate is nine times higher than that of the general population. Every November 20, we have a global vigil for Transgender Day of Remembrance.I'm here at this stage because it's a long history of people who fought and stood up for injustice. This is Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. Today, this very moment, is my real coming out.

许多人就没那么幸运了。我想到这个叫做阿亚拉·莱特丝的女人。她是一个来自纽约的年轻女人,勇敢的为着她的信仰活着,但是人们的憎恶结束了她的生命。在我群体的大多数中,这就是我们真实的生活。我们的自杀率是一般人群自杀率的9倍。每年11月20日,我们有一个变性纪念日的守夜。我站在这里,因为这是一段很长的人们与不正义搏斗的历史。她们是玛莎P·约翰逊和西尔维亚·里维拉,今天,这个特别时刻,是我的真情表露。

I could no longer live my truth for and by myself. I want to do my best to help others live their truth without shame and terror. I am here, exposed, so that one day there will never be a need for a November 20 vigil. My deepest truth allowed me to accept who I am. Will you? Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Kathryn Schulz: Geena, one quick question for you. I'm wondering what you would say, especially to parents, but in a more broad way, to friends, to family, to anyone who finds themselves encountering a child or a person who is struggling with and uncomfortable with a gender that's being assigned them.

我不能仅仅为了我自己信仰而活着。我想尽力去帮助别人,帮助他们在没有羞耻和恐惧的情况下以真正的自我生活。我站在这里,坦诚相待,为了有一天,我们将不再需要11月20日的守夜。我最深处的真理允许我接受我自己。你们也会么?非常感谢。谢谢。谢谢。谢谢。凯瑟琳·舒尔茨:吉娜,问你一个小问题。我很想知道,对朋友对家人,特别是对父母,或是对任何人,对那些对自己的性别而苦苦挣扎,感觉不适的人,你会说些什么?

What might you say to the family members of that person to help them become good and caring and kind family members to them? Geena Rocero: Sure. Well, first, really, I'm so blessed. The support system, with my mom especially, and my family, that in itself is just so powerful. I remember every time I would coach young trans women. I would mentor them, and sometimes when they would call me and tell me that their parents can't accept it. I would pick up that phone call and tell my mom, "Mom, can you call this woman?"

你可以对那个人的家人说些什么,帮助他们成为关爱的、关心的和善良的家庭成员?吉娜·萝杰拉:我个人真的非常幸运。人们给予我的支持,特别是我的母亲,和我的家人,都是那么有力。每一次,我记得我训练,和辅导变性女人,有时当她们打电活给我并告诉我她们的父母不接受这些的时候,我会打电话给我妈,说:“妈,你能打电话这个女人么?”

And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, so —But it's just, gender identitis in the core of our being, right? I mean, we're all assigned gender at birth, so what I'm trying to do is to have this conversation that sometimes that gender assignment doesn't match, and there should be a space that would allow people to self-identify. And that's a conversation that we should have with parents, with colleagues. The transgender movement, it's at the very beginning, to compare to how the gay movement started.

有时有用,有时并不奏效,那么——但是,性别身份是我们存在的核心,对吗?我是说,我们在出生时都被分配了性别。而我想做的就是去讨论当先天性别分配有问题时,应该有空间,有空间让人们去自我鉴定性别。那是一个我们应该与父母,同事讨论的话题。与同性恋运动的起源相比,变性人运动才刚刚开始。

There's still a lot of work that needs to be done. There should be an understanding. There should be a space of curiosity and asking questions, and I hope all of you guys will be my allies. KS: Thank you. That was so lovely. GR: Thank you.

还有很多工作要做。人们应该去理解。人们应该给予好奇与讨论的空间,我希望你们都可以成我的盟友。凯瑟琳·舒尔茨:谢谢。说的太好了。吉娜·萝杰拉:谢谢。


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